Sari Rapet

Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband

2011-10-31T11:07:00.003+07:00

One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful ways. Here are 8 things that you should never utter to your significant other and the words that you should try instead.

1. “You’re just like your father.
“This is just a no-no,” says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. “It’s nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family.” According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: “Hon, when you’re done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?” That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process.

2. “When are you going to find a new job?”
First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home? Do you think he can or should be further ahead career-wise? Is he not bringing home a healthy-enough salary? If you have an issue with how much money he’s making, “it’s an opportunity to talk about your lifestyle and how you want to live,” she adds. The aim is to avoid putting him on the defensive, and instead work together to create the life you both want.

3. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”
Something must have seriously infuriated you, because what you’re doing here is letting him know that there are others in your “camp.” “You are trying to validate your ‘side’ of an argument, as though you’re marshalling an army to your side,” says Orlov. Without ganging up on him, that could open up a discussion about money worries that stem from his childhood, for example. “Room is now cleared for creative problem-solving,” says Orlov. And if you’re just lashing out? Hold your tongue and focus on the root of what’s making you mad. In the end, coming to a solution together will make you feel better than unleashing hurtful words.

4. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!
This is hurtful in two ways. First, it gets at your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter and capable person in the house. Second, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are sub-par. Do this too often and your husband might think, “I can never do anything right or anything that’ll please her,” says Ford. A better choice is to pick your battles. If he’s in the middle of a task and you think that he’s doing it wrong, evaluate whether it really matters, keeping in mind that, just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong—he is, after all, an adult too.

5. “You always... ” or “You never... ”
“These are two phrases I advise couples never to use,” says Ford, “because they set up an instant, negative tone; they halt communication and they put the other person on the defensive.” These blanket statements can make your husband feel unfairly attacked, and chances are he’ll just fire back with all the times he did help. If there are legitimate problems you’d like to address (he really does tend to leave his tools all over the garage floor or often forgets to put gas in the car after driving it).

6. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”
Are you trying to hint that he’s putting on weight? Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across. You may think that you’re subtly conveying the message, but instead you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health. Instead, start with something you like about how he looks: “When you wear that blue shirt, it really makes me appreciate your gorgeous blue eyes.”

7. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?
There’s nothing wrong with your guy having a friend whose company you don’t love—no one says spouses are required to adore each other’s friends, especially that one college pal who likes to pretend he and your hubby never left the frat house. What is wrong is insulting your man’s choice of friends. Your disdain may also suggest that you’d prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with.

8. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that...”
“If he always feels like he’s wrong, he’ll only start to disconnect emotionally.” So let Dad be Dad. Trust that he knows as well as you do how to keep a child clean, safe and fed—even if his definitions of those tasks are slightly different than your own. That said, if there are things he needs to know, like how to use the stroller or what the pediatrician’s phone number is, definitely give him the rundown.

Mengenali Tipe Pria Matre

2011-10-31T11:06:00.000+07:00

Di awal hubungan, pria tipe ini sering tampil sempurna dan seperti memahami perasaan Anda, sehingga Anda mudah sekali terbuai. Ketika Anda sudah dikuasainya, pria tipe ini bersiap mengubah strategi. Perlahan tapi pasti, belangnya pun kelihatan.

1. Narsis tanpa bukti
Si dia mengaku punya perusahaan sendiri namun tidak bersedia menyebutkan lokasi kantornya, ini salah satu tandanya. Di tambah lagi, ia tak pernah terlihat sibuk menelepon anak buahnya di kantor akal-akalannya tersebut.

2. Memanfaatkan kelemahan perempuan
Pria tipe ini hanya fokus pada kekayaan yang dimiliki perempuan. Kecenderungannya, pria pengeruk harta ini mencari pasangan yang tak percaya diri namun punya banyak harta. Ketidakpercayaan diri perempuan, sebagai kelemahan, justru memudahkan pria ini dalam meluncurkan aksinya untuk mengeruk harta pasangannya.

3. Atraktif di mal
Coba ajak pria yang Anda curigai sebagai pendulang emas, ke mal. Katakan padanya, Anda barus saja mendapat bonus dari kantor dan bermaksud membelanjakannya. Biasanya, pria super matre ini akan terlihat lebih bersemangat mencoba berbagai jenis barang bagus dan mahal, terutama barang yang menjadi incarannya.

Ketika rasa ingin membeli muncul, ia akan bertanya, "Bagus tidak sayang?" Kalau Anda menjawab bagus, ia akan berkata, "Aduh, sayangnya dompetku ketinggalan. Kamu bayarin dulu, ya?"

4. Sering pinjam uang
Pria tipe ini selalu punya alasan untuk meminjam uang kepada pasangannya. Mulai ibunya sakit keras, adiknya di luar negeri kecelakaan mobil, apa pun dijadikan alasan untuknya meminjam uang kepada Anda. Percaya lah, ia tidak akan mengembalikan uang itu, bahkan sampai hubungan Anda dan dia berakhir.

5. Egois dan pemalas
Pria tipe ini tak pernah atau jarang memikirkan perasaan pasangannya. Ia tidak bisa jadi tempat berkeluh kesah Anda. Karena di dalam kepalanya, yang ada hanya bagaimana caranya agar Anda mengeluarkan uang untuk dirinya.

6. Kikir
Cobalah untuk sesekali meminta bantuan finansial dari pria tipe ini. Pura-pura saja Anda kehabisan uang, tapi Anda butuh uang untuk membeli bensin misalnya. Di jamin, ia akan mencari seribu satu alasan agar tidak mengeluarkan uang.

Jasa Pembuatan Website

2011-10-29T19:20:00.003+07:00

Semakin banyak penawaran jasa pembuatan website yang bisa kita temukan di internet tidak berarti semakin mudah bagi anda untuk memilih jasa yang tepat bagi keperluan anda membangun sebuah website, baik untuk keperluan personal maupun organisasi atau perusahaan. Tidak sedikit pemilik website yang dikecewakan oleh jasa web design yang mereka gunakan karena hasil yang diberikan ternyata tidak sesuai dengan harapan.

Saat ini website telah diperhitungkan sebagai salah satu investasi untuk menjalankan bisnis. Baik secara langsung ataupun tidak. Secara langsung biasanya kita dapat menjual produk dan jasa melalui website. Secara tidak langsung biasanya dengan memperkenalkan produk serta membangun database calon customer melalui website atau juga disebut branding. Namun tujuan ini tidak akan tercapai jika salah dalam membuat konsep website. Untuk mendapatkan konsep website yang tepat sesuai tujuan anda, dibutuhkan jasa pembuatan website yang tepat yang dapat mengerti tujuan anda tentunya.

Langkah awal yang dibutuhkan untuk mencari jasa web design yang tepat tentunya adalah dengan mempelajari portfolio yang ada. Selanjutnya diskusi dan brainstorming dengan si penyedia jasa juga sangat penting untuk menggali sejauh mana penyedia jasa web design ini dapat mengerti maksud dan tujuan anda, kemudian anda dapat mempelajari konsep yang mereka tawarkan apakah dapat mengakomodir maksud dan tujuan anda dalam pembuatan website ini.

Hindarkan untuk menggunakan jasa web design yang menggunakan opensource sebagai CMS, karena pengguna opensource biasanya kesulitan mendesain tampilan website secara bebas untuk memenuhi konsep yang paling sesuai dengan kebutuhan anda. Selain itu CMS opensource terlalu rumit untuk dioperasikan dan perlu di update secara berkala. Namun jika anda sebagai personal dan faktor harga menjadi pertimbangan yang sangat menentukan, pengguna opensource biasanya menawarkan harga yang relatif lebih murah. Yang penting anda harus hati-hati jika menggunakan jasa web design yang menggunakan opensource karena keahlian dalam menggunakan dan merubah skrip opensource sangat bervariasi.

Terakhir yang perlu anda pertimbangkan dalam menggunakan jasa pembuatan website adalah dukungan teknis yang diberikan. Karena teknologo website biasanya sangat dinamis dan berkembang sesuai perkembangan teknologi browser. Dalam jangka waktu tertentu terkadang sistem website anda tidak berjalan lagi dalam web browser terbaru dan perlu diperbaiki.

Research: Heavier Women May Have Less IVF Success

2011-10-25T21:05:00.002+07:00

The heavier a woman is, the more trouble she may have getting pregnant and having a baby through in vitro fertilization, or IVF — and may lose the baby more often, according to a U.S. study.

Researchers led by Barbara Luke of Michigan State University found that women who were overweight or obese were less likely to become pregnant using fertility treatments than normal-weight women.

Past studies have also hinted at worse IVF outcomes in heavier women, although they don’t prove that the extra weight is directly responsible for the reproductive troubles those women experience.

“Treatment and pregnancy failures with increasing obesity significantly increased starting with overweight women,” Luke and her colleagues wrote in Fertility and Sterility.

They drew data from a reporting system that includes more than 90 percent of IVF treatments done in the United States — information on 150,000 fertility treatment cycles done in 2007 and 2008 at 361 different clinics.

For each cycle, the reporting system included whether the cycle was canceled, if it led to a pregnancy, and whether that pregnancy ended early in a miscarriage or stillbirth, or if the woman gave birth to a live baby. For most cycles, it also had data on women’s height and weight before starting treatment.

Tanaman Yang Memicu Gairah Seks Pria

2011-10-25T21:04:00.000+07:00

Fenugreek adalah sejenis tanaman biji-bijian yang banyak tumbuh di Asia dan umumnya sering digunakan oleh masyarakat India sebagai bumbu penyedap masakan. Fenugreek juga paling sering digunakan dalam pembuatan kari.

Tapi tahukah anda manfaat lain di balik tanaman yang satu ini? Rupanya selain dipakai untuk bumbu masak, Fenugreek juga mempunyai khasiat untuk meningkatkan gairah seksual pria, sebagaimana hasil penelitian para ahli dari Centre for Integrative Clinical and Molecular Medicine di Brisbane, Australia.

Dalam penelitian tersebut, para ahli mengujicobakan ramuan tanaman ini kepada 60 pria sehat berusia antara 25-52 tahun. Setiap relawan mengonsumsi ramuan tersebut sebanyak dua kali sehari selama enam minggu.

Hasilnya menunjukkan, tingkat libido para pria tersebut ternyata mengalami perubahan setelah dimonitor menggunakan alat skor. Dalam waktu enam minggu, skor mereka meningkat dengan rata-rata 16,1-20,6 atau naik 28 persen, Sementara itu, pada kelompok lain yang mengonsumsi pil, skor mereka terlihat jauh lebih rendah.

Menurut para peneliti, biji fenugreek mengandung senyawa saponin yang diperkirakan dapat merangsang produksi hormon seks laki-laki termasuk testosteron.

How to show that you’re a catch

2011-10-20T13:37:00.002+07:00

Here are certain things you can mention that will let you impress your date, without a doubt, and will add some heft to casual first-date small talk. Here are five topics to tackle and how to artfully bring them up.

1. Whatever you’re passionate about. Maybe it’s your love of art and culture. Or history. Or tropical bird-watching. Anything, in fact, except celebrities and what’s on TV. You want to show that you do things in your spare time that enrich you as a person, not just sit on the sofa with Us Weekly. Spend those early dates getting to know the important facts about each other; specifically, the passions that make each of you tick and distinguish you from the other single folk out there.

2. Your family values. It can be a big plus to let your date know that your family is important to you, but that they don’t run your life. Share a story that describes your family in context.

3. Community service. If you’re active in community organizations that help people in any way, this is definitely something to bring up on a first date. Of course, bragging about giving lots of money to charities... well, that’s just showing off. But just mentioning that you do volunteer work — like delivering meals to homebound people, or even just hosting events for a local professional organization — shows a sense of humanity that’s an indisputable selling point.

4. Your ability to laugh at yourself. This one’s less about saying one particular thing and more about having a lighthearted tone. “Everyone has faults, and to be able to laugh at them is charming,” says Humphrey. “It’s always great to give a funny story about something you did to embarrass yourself — like my going up to Eva Longoria at a TV event and mistaking her for someone else.”

Hal-hal Sederhana Yang Menunjukkan Rasa Cinta

2011-10-20T13:32:00.002+07:00

Ada empat hal sederhana yang dapat Anda lakukan untuk menunjukkan rasa sayang dan tentunya akan membuat si dia merasa spesial. Ini dia empat hal tersebut, seperti yang dikutip dari sheknows.

1. Stok makanan atau minuman kesukaannya di lemari makanan
Jika biasanya lemari dan kulkas selalu dipenuhi dengan makanan Anda seperti buah, cokelat atau kue, kini tak ada salahnya untuk menaruh makanan atau minuman kesukaan pasangan. Misalnya saja, membelikan keripik kentang, donat, soft drink atau minuman berenergi lainnya. Lakukan hal ini sesekali saja, jika Anda tak ingin berat badannya meningkat drastis.

2. Menciumnya setiap pagi
Kepanikan seringkali terjadi di pagi hari, terutama jika Anda telat bangun atau harus memandikan si kecil. Dalam keadaan sesibuk itu, cobalah tetap menunjukkan rasa cinta Anda dengan memberinya kecupan sebelum ia berangkat ke kantor. Ini memberi arti bahwa Anda tetap memperhatikannya walau sesibuk apapun. Ia akan sangat menghargai hal itu.

3. Berikan pijatan saat si dia sedang stres
Pekerjaan yang menumpuk, teguran atasan, atau berselisih pendapat dengan teman sekantor tentu saja meberikan tekanan tersendri bagi siapapun yang mengalaminya. Jika ia tiba di rumah dalam keadaan murung dan lelah, tak ada salahnya Anda berikan pijatan di leher dan pungungnya agar ia merasa lebih rileks.

4. Rencanakan kencan kejutan
Kesibukan si dia seringkali membuat Anda merasa dilupakan? Daripada mengeluh, mengapa tak coba merencanakan sebuah kencan untuknya. Pilih tanggal kencan yang berarti untuk Anda berdua, seperti tanggal perkawinan atau hari jadi dan ajaklah si dia untuk mendatangi restoran favoritnya. Alternatif lainnya, berjalan-jalan di taman di malam hari memberikan nuansa romantis yang santai.

Eligible men who stay single

2011-10-16T23:55:00.002+07:00

We all know this guy — or are this guy: in his 30s, affable, attractive, and yet he’s never been in a serious long-term relationship. And as his single status stretches into a third decade, one has to wonder: What’s the deal? Learn about howfive types of die-hard bachelors contribute to their perpetually single status.

The workaholic
For the guy who makes work priority number one, a relationship can seem like a hindrance for which he hasn’t the time or energy.

The partier
For this guy, weekends in Vegas and hitting up the newest parties and clubs has too much appeal to entertain the possibility of settling down.

The shy guy
It’s a fact: Meeting women requires conversation — which can be problematic for a shy guy and can stunt his relationship prospects.

The too-picky guy
For all his many, many first dates, this guy is resolutely single, never having met anyone who quite fits his mold for the ideal mate. He is convinced that there is someone out there and is alternately determined to find The One or frustrated by his inability to do so.

The none-of-the-above guy
Of course, there are guys who might not fall into (just) one of these categories, who are comfortable with themselves, outgoing and trying to meet someone to share their lives with.

You won't take a woman here!

2011-10-10T11:07:00.002+07:00

One advantage women have in the dating world is that men often let us choose what we want to do on dates. They’ll either run date ideas past us, or flat-out let us decide where to go. But some still try to rock our world with unpleasant surprises or talk us into experiences we end up dreading. Guys, here are some tips on places we’re never interested in visiting.

Meeting Your Mother
True, it might happen eventually, but casually hanging out with your mother — wonderful as she may be — is not our idea of a relaxing time. Neither is getting tips from her on how to find a better hairstylist or job. Sure, she might make the best fried chicken or pasta primavera on the planet, but her long, loving gaze might make us feel less like family and more like we’re on the wrong end of a long microscope — especially if you take us to meet her on the second or third date. If you want to see your mom, that’s cool. Just don’t make us a permanent fixture in her house too early in the relationship or we’ll start wondering why you’re so busy showing us off, or worse — why her opinion of us matters more than your own.

Sports-Themed Places
When we’re with you, we don’t want to compete with the big game or struggle to hear you over a crowd of screaming sports fans. We’d rather be in a place where people are less likely to bump into our chair or spill something on the cute outfit we put too much time into selecting. Likewise, we don’t want to feel ignored by our date because he’s watching his favorite team or can’t hear us because of that old 50 Cent song blaring from the speaker by our heads. The Buffalo wings are pretty much the best part of this experience, and they better be freakin’ outstanding.

Theme Parks
In life, there are rollercoaster people and there are those who get queasy looking at the merry-go-round. Find out which one your date is before you take her to the nearest Six Flags to ride the Mind-Eraser. We know you’re eager to be the manly man as we clench your arm in terror while spinning upside down in a quadruple loop. It’s just that some of us are not aching to toss our cookies in the bushes next to the churros stand while you watch. Sure, we might get to know you better while waiting in those long lines, but we’ll probably have other things on our minds if our stomachs are filled with knots and our hearts are racing in anxious anticipation — like avoiding the next date.

Chain Restaurants
We love a guy who wants to feed us and perhaps even more so a man who wants to pay to feed us. But if you take us to a place we can find in every major city where the interior always looks the same, you might as well feed us lattes at Starbucks. Fast-food joints obviously rank as the worst dinner choices, but corporate restaurants (oh, don’t make me name names… you know the ones I mean!) also lack originality and thoughtfulness. As a general rule, don’t take us to a place where we know what we’re going to order before we walk in. We’d rather be taken somewhere off the beaten path — where there are candles instead of fluorescent lights and we don’t have to listen to Top 40 songs blaring from a speaker overhead. If you have no idea where those places are, remember — the Zagat Guide was created for a reason.

Cara Bangunkan Anak Tanpa Perlu Emosi

2011-10-10T11:05:00.000+07:00

"Sulit bangun pagi pada anak remaja itu bukanlah masalah kebiasaan, melainkan masalah biologis," kata Emsellem memberi kesimpulan. Lantas, apa "obat" supaya Anda tidak perlu berteriak-teriak setiap pagi? Pertama-tama, Emsellem menganjurkan Anda untuk bicara dengan anak. Katakan bahwa Anda ingin dia belajar bangun pagi sendiri tanpa harus disertai omelan dari orangtua. Ada beberapa cara yang bisa ditempuh agar hal ini terlaksana:

1. Berikan tanggung jawab. "Mintalah anak lebih bertanggung jawab terhadap pola tidur mereka. Artinya, mereka harus belajar untuk bangun tanpa bantuan orang lain," kata Emsellem. Selain itu, buatlah batasannya. Misalnya, Anda akan membangunkannya satu kali saja. "Jika Anda masuk ke kamarnya empat kali di setiap pagi, mereka tidak akan merasa punya tanggung jawab untuk bangun pagi karena merasa Anda akan terus melakukannya," kata Emsellem.

2. Ajarkan mereka bagaimana caranya. Minta mereka untuk mencatat setiap hari, pukul berapa mereka tidur dan kapan mereka bangun. Lakukan ini selama beberapa minggu. Perhatikan sejauh mana perubahan pada pola tidur dapat membantu mereka bangun lebih pagi. Misalnya, Anda dapat memintanya menyelesaikan pekerjaan rumah sebelum pukul 19.00, dan tidur lebih awal daripada biasanya.

3. Waspadai akhir minggu. Kebanyakan anak dan remaja ingin menunda waktu tidurnya di akhir minggu, karena merasa esok harinya mereka bisa bangun lebih siang. Menurut William Kohler, direktur medis dari Florida Sleep Institute, Spring Hill, Florida, boleh-boleh saja sebenarnya jika mereka mau tidur lebih lama di akhir minggu. "Namun, beri kelonggaran waktu bangun hanya sekitar 1-2 jam lebih siang daripada hari sekolah. Yang pasti, jangan biarkan mereka bangun setelah pukul 10.00," kata Kohler. Hal ini dapat mencegah gangguan pada pola tidur mereka.

4. Jauhkan komputer dan TV dari kamar mereka. Selain itu, jangan biarkan mereka berinteraksi dengan dua alat elektronik ini beberapa saat sebelum tidur, sebab ini justru dapat membuat mereka jadi sulit tidur. Sementara itu, pastikan kamar tidur anak memiliki jendela yang menghadap keluar, sehingga sinar matahari di luar dapat membantu mereka bangun setiap pagi.

Scientist: Women Can Tell A Man's Sexuality

2011-10-04T19:47:00.002+07:00

If a woman tells you she can spot a gay man just by looking at him, don’t dismiss her claim out of hand. Scientists say women really do have ‘gaydar’, which helps them spot whether a man is straight or gay just by looking at his face.

And the instinct is at its strongest when she is at her most fertile and in the mood for romance. Their findings suggest that a woman’s ability to determine whether a potential male partner is straight or gay is linked to the impulse to have children.

During the three experiments, some 40 heterosexual women were shown a set of photographs of 80 men’s faces, all with the same expression. Researchers found women were remarkably adept in being able to spot the gay and straight men.

But in a similar experiment using photographs of gay and straight women, they were less able to differentiate. The study, by psychologists from the University of Toronto, then compared the results to the women’s cycles and found those at their most fertile had the most accurate male ‘gaydar’.

Lead researcher, Professor Nicholas Rule said: ‘This effect is not apparent when a woman is judging another female’s orientation. This suggests that fertility influences a heterosexual woman’s attention to potential mates rather than merely increasing sensitivity to sexual orientation or nonverbal cues more generally.’

Seputar Ukuran Payudara

2011-10-04T19:44:00.002+07:00

Berbeda dengan kebanyakan perempuan yang mendambakan ukuran payudara yang padat dan besar, Jessica Simpson, aktris dan penyanyi asal Amerika Serikat, dikabarkan justru melakukan tindakan pengecilan payudara sebelum hari pernikahannya pada pertengahan September tahun ini.

Simpson mengatakan pembedahan tersebut dimaksudkan agar gaun pengantinnya tidak kekecilan dan juga demi penampilan fisiknya secara keseluruhan di masa depan. Simpson memang dikenal memiliki ukuran payudara di atas rata-rata.

Disukai atau tidak, faktanya kebanyakan pria lebih tertarik pada wanita dengan ukuran payudara yang besar. Pria tertarik pada ukuran payudara wanita seperti halnya para wanita peduli pada ukuran penis pria. Kebanyakan wanita juga merasa lebih percaya diri jika buah dadanya kencang dan padat.

Tetapi, ketertarikan pria pada buah dada pasangannya tergantung pada durasi hubungan yang sedang dijalaninya. Pria yang masih melajang cenderung menyukai wanita dengan tampilan fisik menarik, bentuk tubuh indah atau berpayudara besar. Namun setelah mereka memiliki pasangan yang dicintai penampilan fisik tidak lagi menjadi hal yang utama.

Karena itu seorang wanita seharusnya tidak perlu khawatir pada ukuran payudara, apalagi sampai nekat melakukan implan payudara demi memuaskan pria. Lagi pula, hasil operasi payudara sebaik apa pun tidak akan menjamin seorang pria berpaling ke lain hati.

Bad reasons to date someone

2011-09-28T00:44:00.002+07:00

When you decide whether you’re ready to date or not, make sure you are doing it for the right reason: You have a full life that you’d like to share with another person.

With that in mind, here are a few bad reasons to date someone…

1. Your friends want you paired off. Just because your friends are married or coupled up doesn’t mean you have to find “your other half.” If they are pressuring you to date, be firm. You need to date people because you want to, not because everyone else in your life thinks it’s the right thing to do.

2. You can’t stand to be alone. If you approach dating with the desperation of a person who is uncomfortable spending any time alone, you might not choose a suitable partner. Learn to enjoy your own company and that of your friends and family before embarking on new romantic relationships.

3. Well, he/she did ask me out… It’s wonderfully flattering to be asked out on a date, but you don’t owe anyone a thing. Remember, you’ll have a more satisfying romantic life if you choose whom and when to date. Don’t just say yes to the next person who comes along because it’s less work that way.

4. You’re “that age.” Who knows what “that age” even is these days, but sometimes we feel pressured to date because others (and the youth-obsessed media) are telling us that time is slipping away for finding a mate. Pshaw! You can fall in love at any time in your life, and the experience will be that much richer if you’re emotionally ready. Whether you’re 25 or 75, there is no “right age” for dating or commitment. Listen to your heart and date when you feel ready.

5. You want someone to fix your life. You’ve heard it a million times before, but that’s because it’s true: you are in charge of your own happiness and your life’s circumstances. Please don’t date someone in order to find motivation to quit smoking, pay the bills on time, get out of the house, etc. Take care of yourself now in order to be a good partner later.

6. You want to further your career. Try not to mix business with pleasure by using dating as a way to make professional contacts. People might get hurt and your reputation could be compromised. Be honest with yourself about your goals. If you’re much more concerned with work than with being a good partner, perhaps you should put your love life on hold for a few months.

Sederhana Namun Menunjukkan Rasa Cinta

2011-09-28T00:40:00.002+07:00

Study: Handsome Men Mean Better Sex

2011-09-20T01:35:00.002+07:00

Women orgasm more quickly and more often with handsome partners, according to research carried out by anthropologists and psychologists.

The study, which was carried out at Pennsylvania State University, focused on the sex lives of 110 heterosexual couples, who reported who orgasmed and how often.

The male subjects were rated for "objectively-measured facial masculinity, observer-rated facial masculinity, partner-rated masculinity, and partner-rated dominance"; observers, as well as the men themselves, were also asked to rated their own attractiveness.

Women whose partners rated as masculine and dominant reported more frequent and earlier-timed orgasms than those whose partners rated less well. The women whose partners were deemed attractive also orgasmed more often during or after male ejaculation.

Frequency of female orgasm as a result of masturbation was not predicted by the male partner's attractiveness.

Pria Akan Menjauhi 4 Tipe Wanita Ini

2011-09-20T01:33:00.000+07:00

Banyak karakteristik wanita yang tidak disukai pria. Dilansir dari All Women Talks, berikut ini empat tipe wanita yang membuat pria tidak ingin berhubungan lebih jauh.

Si Tukang Mengeluh
Rengekan mungkin efektif bagi anak kecil untuk mendapatkan perhatian. Jika wanita dewasa menerapkan taktik rengekan dan mengeluh setiap saat kepada kekasihnya dan berharap mendapatkan perhatian si dia, tentunya ini salah besar. Sering mengeluh akan membuat pria merasa terganggu, risik dan enggan berdekatan dengannya.

Si Tukang Ngomel
Pria tidak akan sanggup bertahan jika selalu kena omelan kekasihnya. Pria menganggap wanita yang suka mengomel berarti 'bossy'. Pria punya ego yang tinggi dan tidak suka jika selalu salah di mata kekasihnya.

Wanita Dominan
Tipe wanita dominan biasanya ingin bertanggung jawab atas apa yang dilakukan kekasihnya. Biasanya dia juga lebih sering membuat keputusan. Tipe wanita seperti ini, membuat pria merasa kurang 'jantan' dan tidak berguna. Sedangkan pria, akan merasa dihargai jika dia dapat melibatkan diri atau merasa berguna bagi kekasihnya.

Drama Queen
Pria sangat membenci wanita yang kerap mendramatisir suatu kejadian atau masalah. Beberapa wanita melakukan ini untuk mendapatkan perhatian. Namun, percayalah wanita tipe drama queen tidak akan berhasil memenangkan hati seorang pria.

Caregivers who care too much

2011-09-13T15:45:00.002+07:00

There's a fine line between being super helpful and super annoying, and even the best sitter or daycare provide may not be aware when she's crossing it and butting in. Parenting contributing editor Denene Millner, an Atlanta mom of two and stepmom of one, remembers the time her nanny was concerned about her daughters' colds and wanted Millner to rub a mentholatum ointment on their chests before bed. "When I didn't, she acted like I was trying to make them suffer," she says.

Millner didn't want to fire her nanny for caring too much, or lose her in anger. So she did what any good manager would: She delegated, asking her husband to talk to their nanny about it instead. "It preserves the equality in my relationship with our nanny by letting my husband be the boss and deal with the misunderstandings that arise," she says. "It also keeps the relationship between her and me healthy while still letting me blow off steam through a third party."

Of course, if you don't have a person ready to play the bad-cop role in your household, you'll have to address your concerns with your caregiver directly, which can feel uncomfortable to consider but empowering to actually do. I've done it myself, and it was in just these situations that I found my voice, and perhaps even my identity, as a mom. This is, in fact, the good-news part of handling unwanted parenting advice. Deal with it and you may just see your confidence grow.

Cara Memotivasi Pria

2011-09-13T15:44:00.000+07:00

Pria juga membutuhkan motivasi, namun sebaiknya sampaikan dengan cara tepat seperti berikut ini.

1. Berikan bukti
Pria berpikir realistis. Jadi berikan si dia bukti, termasuk bukti kesuksesannya selama ini. Saat semangatnya mereda, ingatkan kembali dia dengan menunjukkan bukti-bukti kesuksesannya selama ini. Pria perlu diingatkan kembali, dengan bukti, bahwa ia mampu dan bertalenta, berdasarkan prestasi yang pernah diraihnya.

2. Berikan pujian spesifik
Memuji memang ada baiknya untuk mendongkrak kepercayaan diri. Namun, terlalu sering memberikan pujian atas prestasi atau kemampuannya justru menjadi berlebihan dan tak efektif.

Pria membutuhkan dukungan dalam bentuk saran atau masukan yang praktis untuk mencapai keberhasilannya. Berikan penghargaan yang spesifik, untuk menumbuhkan kembali motivasi dirinya. Daripada hanya menyebutkan bahwa si dia berpotensi, akan lebih baik jika Anda menyebutkan langsung bahwa ia mahir berkomunikasi, memiliki kemampuan memimpin yang baik, dan potensi lainnya yang lebih spesifik.

3. Saran dan arahan
Anda bisa sukses memotivasi pria jika memberikan saran dan arahan untuk melakukan langkah kecil. Pria akan lebih mampu menangkap motivasi jika Anda memberikan saran dan arahan yang bisa membimbingnya memulai melangkah.

Misalnya, jika si dia berencana memulai bisnis baru. Ajak ia merencanakan memulai bisnis dengan membantunya membuat daftar tahapan kegiatan. Termasuk membuat daftar kontak yang berkaitan dengan bisnisnya.

4. Jangan terlalu berambisi
Ada garis tipis antara bersikap suportif dengan memberikan dukungan dengan ambisius. Mungkin maksud Anda memberikan dukungan dan menyemangati pasangan, namun jika terlalu menunjukkan ambisi pribadi, hasilnya takkan efektif.

Apalagi jika Anda memaksakan pasangan yang sedang kehilangan semangat atau mersa buntu untuk melakukan sesuatu. Meski Anda menginginkan pasangan untuk sukses, berikan motivasi dan dukungan dengan cara yang efektif.

How to loosen up an uptight date

2011-09-07T23:11:00.003+07:00

You two had great online chat, and your phone calls were filled with witty banter. But now that this hot prospect is sitting face-to-face with you on a date, it’s painfully obvious that nervousness has this person in a vice grip. Your potentially wonderful evening has turned into an uncomfortable mix of halting small talk and awkward silences.

Your best option is to use some smart measures to crack through your date’s defenses and help him or her relax so you can, too. Let’s take a closer look at option B to help your anxious date chill out a bit.

Acknowledge the elephant in the room
When there’s tension in the air, sometimes the best thing to do is acknowledge it. “If you’re bold, say something like, ‘First dates are always so uncomfortable — wanna pretend it’s our second?’”

Look like you’re listening
Nervousness often melts away when someone’s certain the other person is genuinely interested romantically. And while you could swear you’ve been nothing but attentive as your date recounted his or her first attempt at surfing in Costa Rica, your expression might show otherwise. “A lot of people, without realizing it, offer very little facial feedback.”

Shine the spotlight on yourself
When dates act tense, it’s usually because they’re worried about the impression they’re making. “People get really preoccupied with themselves, and the best way to get them to loosen up is to put all the attention on you.”

Share a mortifying confession
Remember that moment you tripped dramatically walking into a party or made a Freudian slip in front of your boss? Finally, some good can come out of your past humiliations if you’re willing to share this personal tidbit with your date. “In awkward moments, what seems to work is telling an embarrassing story. It lightens the mood and relaxes the whole situation.”

Ask your date for advice
Everyone loves being helpful, so draw out a shy date by soliciting his or her opinion. “Say something that shows your vulnerability, like ‘Can you help me figure out what’s good on this menu? I tend to order the wrong thing.’

Throw in some curveball questions
If anyone knows what it’s like to make conversation with someone who holds his or her cards close to the vest, it’s Eric Alt, a Los Angeles-based celebrity interviewer. His advice? Break the tension by asking something unexpected.

Sisi Positif dan Negatif Memiliki Suami Yang Lebih Muda

2011-09-07T23:08:00.003+07:00

Dalam anggapan umum, pasangan suami istri selalu identik dengan suami yang lebih tua daripada istri. Tapi kini makin banyak pasangan yang tak lagi berpatokan ke anggapan tersebut.

Tentunya ada kelebihan dan kekurangan memiliki suami dengan usia yang lebih muda. Dikutip dari ehow, berikut beberapa sisi positif dan negatifnya:

Kelebihan:

1. Lebih Menghormati
Pria yang lebih muda umumnya lebih bisa menghargai kelebihan dan kedewasaan wanita yang lebih tua. Biasanya suami yang lebih muda lebih menghormati dan menghargai sang istri. Dia bisa melihat lebih dalam kelebihan sang istri daripada hanya sebatas faktor umur. Pria yang lebih muda bisa melihat istrinya sebagai orang yang dicintai sekaligus untuk tempat belajar.

2. Lebih berambisi
Pria yang lebih muda biasanya masih dipenuhi oleh ambisi dan tujuan. Semangatnya meraih impian juga akan menular pada Anda. Hal ini juga bisa membuat Anda selalu dipenuhi energi positif untuk bersama-sama mencapai tujuan.

3. Semangat belajar
Rasa ingin tahu dan semangat belajar pria lebih muda masih sangat besar. Termasuk dalam hal bercinta. Mereka tak ragu menjalankan semua pengalaman yang baru bersama Anda. Anda pun akan selalu bersemangat setiap harinya. Pria yang lebih muda umumnya tidak terlalu gengsi untuk bertanya dan meminta petunjuk.

4. Penampilan fisik lebih menarik
Hal ini tidak diragukan lagi. Pria lebih muda secara fisik masih lebih menarik ketimbang yang umurnya lebih tua. Penampilan pasangan lebih muda akan membuat Anda lebih menjaga penampilan karena tak ingin terlihat kurang menarik saat berada disampingnya.

5. Lebih bergairah
Salah satu keuntungan menikah dengan pria yang lebih muda adalah umumnya mereka masih lebih aktif secara seksual ketimbang pria yang lebih tua. Pria yang lebih muda bisa lebih memuaskan hasrat seksual dan mempunyai stamina yang tinggi untuk aktivitas fisik yang bisa membuat pernikahan lebih menyenangkan.

Kekurangan:

1. Komitmen
Seringkali pria yang lebih muda masih kurang pengetahuan mengenai arti komitmen yang sebenarnya. Emosi serta perasaannya pada Anda yang menggebu membuat makna komitmen yang sebenarnya menjadi samar-samar. Seringkali kurangnya komitmen itu bisa menjadi benih potensi konflik dalam pernikahan.

2. Masalah keuangan
Pria yang jauh lebih muda biasanya memiliki pengalaman kerja lebih sedikit dari Anda. Tak jarang kesuksesan Anda justru melebihinya. Sebagai suami yang seharusnya bertanggung jawab penuh akan keuangan dalam rumah tangga, peran suami bisa jadi kurang maksimal. Seringkali justru Anda yang harus bekerja keras untuk membiayai rumah tangga.

3. Stigma
Umumnya kesulitan pernikahan dengan pria lebih muda dipengaruhi stigma yang ada di masyarakat. Wanita yang menikahi pria jauh lebih muda sering dianggap kurang baik. Sebaliknya pria yang memilih wanita jauh lebih tua pun juga dianggap benalu atau mencari keuntungan semata. Hal itu akan menjadi cobaan yang berat bagi Anda dan pasangan.

How to Discover that She doesn’t Love the Real You

2011-09-02T18:11:00.002+07:00

Some women give up looking for the man that’s right for them. Instead, they find some guy who “will have to do” and work to change him into the man they really want. After you’ve stopped dating and you’re in a relationship, that’s when the “Changer” gets to work. She may say “I love you” and really believe it, too. But she’s really in love with her idealized notion of who you could be, not who you actually are. Here are seven signs you’re dating someone like this:

1. Compromise suddenly has a new definition
You like foreign films with subtitles; she likes romantic comedies. Normally, you’d compromise and take turns picking the movie. But for the Changer, this compromise won’t last long. Soon you will hear: “But I really want to see this movie!” or “I’m worried it won’t be playing by next week.” For the Changer, compromise means doing what she wants... every time.

2. Your girlfriend becomes “Our Lady of the Constant Critique”
It’s OK for a woman to ask you to “dress up a bit” for a special occasion, but the Changer always has some complaint to accessorize it with, like: “Why do you wear jeans all the time?” It might not be your clothes she fixates upon, though. Marc (who has dated a Changer in the past), says, “Everyone has habits. Mine were always under attack. When people try to concentrate, some rub their foreheads. Me, I scratch the back of my head. But she kept trying to get me to stop. And when it wasn’t that, there was always something else irritating her.”

3. If you happen to disagree, you’re always wrong and she’s always right
You and your girlfriend should enjoy having conversations with each other. You might disagree on some topics, but the difference of opinion should be stimulating, not aggravating. However, the Changer must convince you that you’re wrong, no matter how trivial the topic. There is only one reasonable viewpoint — hers.

4. Your friends have practically disappeared since you started seeing each other
Lately, your friends don’t seem to come over very often and they don’t invite you out, either. They have opinions of their own about your girl, it seems, and that poses danger for the Changer. She’s probably doing subtle things to make your friends uncomfortable in her presence. If so, it means she’s hoping to isolate you, which makes her ability to control your life that much easier.

5. Her schedule is more important than yours
Phil, who also dated a Changer, recalls, “Our first date was a movie that I wanted to see on a Saturday, but she wanted to go to the Tuesday showing. So, Tuesday it was, then. She wanted to catch the early show; I explained I’d be working outside the city that day and I’d have to fight rush-hour traffic to make it on time — and rearrange my schedule. But, I agreed to it. It was hard, but somehow I managed to arrive early. She showed up late. I wish that had been our first and last date!”

6. Trivial things become vital to her happiness
Your girlfriend asks you to stop leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor, which is reasonable. But does she insist you order something to share every time you go out to dinner, too? Does she insist on taking her car to nice restaurants because yours is dirty or has a visible dent? If she complains about every little thing before and during your dates, then she’s a Changer. The next time she insists you order something off the menu that’s not to your liking, try changing your choice of dinner companions instead. You’ll be happier in the long run.

7. In your relationship, support is a one-way street
When she needs your support, you always deliver. But somehow, it’s different when you need something from her. Her support usually comes with conditions attached or is followed by long, dramatic sighs. Whatever’s wrong, a Changer will point out that it’s probably all your fault, and sympathy is always absent.

Tipe Pria Yang Harus Anda Dikencani

2011-09-02T18:10:00.000+07:00

Berikut ini lima tipe pria yang perlu Anda kencani sebelum Anda memilih Mr Right yang Anda anggap memenuhi semua kriteria Anda dan menikahinya. Siapa tahu, salah satu dari lima tipe ini ternyata memang "the one" yang Anda cari!

1. Pria yang sama sekali bukan tipe Anda
Tidak semua pria akan langsung memikat hati Anda, meskipun ia bertampang seperti Bradley Cooper. Entah karena penampilannya kelewat rapi (buat Anda), atau karena ia tidak memiliki kesamaan apapun dengan Anda. Anda berpikir, "Nggak mungkin deh, pacaran dengan pria seperti ini!" Namun entah kenapa, berdekatan dengannya membuat Anda sedikit deg-degan. Kalau sudah begini, lupakan saja dulu syarat-syarat yang Anda ajukan ketika mencari pasangan. Coba saja jalani hubungan Anda, hidup toh hanya sekali.

2. Pemain band
Yang dimaksud di sini bukan pemusik band-band pop atau rocker, melainkan seorang pemusik yang terlatih, atau pemain band yang beraliran seni. Soalnya menurut sebuah penelitian dari Northwestern University, pria yang telinganya terlatih untuk mendengarkan musik biasanya juga menjadi pasangan yang sensitif. Kata kuncinya di sini adalah "terlatih", artinya pernah belajar musik secara khusus. Jadi, jangan berkencan dengan seorang pemain musik yang akan segera mendepak Anda ketika bandnya mulai tenar.

3. Pria yang sukses
Inilah pria yang hidupnya direncanakan dengan cermat. Ia membuat keputusan-keputusan yang matang mengenai hidupnya, sangat serius menata kariernya, dan dalam usia mudanya kini sudah mencapai jabatan cukup tinggi di perusahaan. Ia membuatnya dirinya sukses tanpa campur-tangan orangtua, dan selalu memproyeksikan dirinya untuk mencapai tujuan. Pria seperti ini akan membuat Anda penasaran, bagaimana kira-kira sisi lain pribadinya? Bagaimana ia berinteraksi dengan anak-anak? Hangatkah ia di ranjang?

4. Pria asing
Pria asing, baik yang berkulit terang maupun gelap, pasti memiliki budaya yang sangat berbeda dengan Anda. Justru, inilah yang sebenarnya membuat hubungan menjadi penuh kejutan. Apakah ia lancar berbahasa Inggris? Apakah ia tipe yang menghargai budaya orang lain? Temukan pria-pria seperti ini di pusat-pusat kebudayaan, acara-acara seni, atau aktivitas sosial lainnya. Dengan pria berkebangsaan asing, Anda akan belajar untuk memahami perbedaan.

5. Bartender
Bartender memiliki hubungan yang dekat dengan tamu-tamunya. Ia tahu tempat-tempat hangout yang asyik, dan ia menerima beragam cerita dari ribuan tamu yang menghabiskan uang untuk minuman yang dibuatnya. "Bar itu seperti cermin satu sisi. Saya bisa berjarak 20 cm saja dari orang-orang saat saya menyiapkan minuman, dan mereka terus saja berbicara. Saya bisa mendengar semuanya," kata seorang bartender.

Oleh karena itu, bartender umumnya juga lebih mampu memahami wanita. Ia tahu apa yang mereka inginkan, atau pendekatan seperti apa yang harus dilakukan, karena banyaknya waktu yang ia dapatkan untuk berbicara dengan mereka.

The Sounds Women Make in Bed Have Little to Do with Her Orgasm

2011-08-28T18:35:00.002+07:00

When Meg Ryan demonstrated just how effortlessly a woman could fake an orgasm in When Harry Met Sally, co-star Billy Crystal was not only embarrassed, but stunned.

Now it appears there may be some truth to the idea, as a new study has shown that the noise a woman might make in bed does not often correspond with her orgasm.

According to research from the University of Central Lancashire, a woman's 'copulatory vocalisations' are made most often before her climax or during her partner's.

The findings were based on analysis of 71 women with an average age of 22. The study aimed to identify whether a woman's vocal expressions during intercourse were triggered by orgasm or occurred independently.

Each participant completed a questionnaire about their sexual behaviour, which included details about how they reached climax and at which point they were most likely to express themselves vocally.

Most women polled said they reached orgasm during foreplay, but were most likely to vocalise their enjoyment during their partner's. The researchers believe the reason for this discrepancy is that women are 'manipulating male behaviour to their advantage'.

Trik Bercinta yang Bisa Menutupi Kekurangan Tubuh

2011-08-28T18:34:00.000+07:00

Survei membuktikan masalah lemak kerap menjadi penyebab wanita menolak bercinta dengan pasangannya. Survei digelar oleh sebuah produk pembangkit libido yang mengkalim berbahan alami.

1. Coba Posisi Baru
Bercinta dengan posisi misionaris terkadang membuat beberapa wanita tidak percaya diri. Hal itu karena mereka harus berbaring, sehingga bagian perut yang berlemak atau ada stretch marks bisa tampak dengan jelas.

Ingin menutupinya? Coba bercinta dengan posisi doggy style. Dengan melakukan posisi itu, suami tidak hanya bisa melihat bokong seksi Anda, tapi juga paha dan punggung. Jangan khawatir lagi pada lemak di perut, karena bagian itu tidak terlihat. Doggy style juga jadi cara yang tepat untuk menstimulasi g-spot Anda.

Selain doggy style, cowgirl juga termasuk posisi bercinta yang bisa dilakukan jika ingin menyembunyikan lemak di perut. Namun posisi ini membutuhkan kekuatan lebih di paha. Saat berhubungan intim dengan posisi cowgirl, Anda akan menggunakan otot paha untuk menopang tubuh saat berada di atas pasangan dan bergerak ke atas lalu ke bawah.

Anda melakukan posisi bercinta ini dengan setengah berdiri dan menopang tubuh pada paha. Otomatis, dengan posisi seperti itu, otot perut pun akan bergerak sehingga lemak yang tertimbun di sana, tersamarkan.

2. Pakai Baju Seksi
Memang terdengar aneh, saat Anda tidak merasa seksi, tapi malah diminta mengenakan pakaian yang mengekspos keseksian tubuh. Tapi faktanya, mengenakan pakaian seksi sebelum bercinta memang bisa membuat wanita jadi lebih percaya diri.

Usahakan, pilih lingerie yang bisa menutupi kekurangan tubuh, misalnya saja yang tidak terbuka di bagian perut. Pakai juga lingerie yang sesuai dengan bentuk tubuh.

Bingung dengan model lingerie apa yang pas untuk Anda? Wolipop pernah menjelaskannya di artikel ini.

3. Bermain Cahaya
Bercinta dengan cahaya yang tidak terlalu terang bisa jadi salah satu trik Anda menutupi lemak di tubuh. Namun jangan juga terlalu gelap.

Anda bisa mencoba menyalakan lilin. Sinar lilin selalu memberi kesan sensual juga romantis. Matikan lampu tidur Anda dan nyalakan lilin beraroma. Pilih aroma yang membuat rileks seperti lavender.

Jika Anda tak mau mengambil risiko kebakaran dengan menyalakan lilin, sebaiknya ganti jenis bohlam lampu tidur Anda. Pilihlah yang sinarnya tak lebih dari 60 watt, lampu dengan sinar remang-remang juga bisa membuat kesan seksi di kamar tidur.

4. Biarkan Suami Mengontrol
Kalau Anda dan pasangan suka bercinta dengan posisi misionaris, coba berikan si dia kesempatan untuk 'menguasai' Anda. Minta pasangan untuk mengangkat tangan Anda sampai ke atas kepala. Lakukan seolah-olah, Anda dan dia sedang bermain peran, 'wanita lemah dan pria berkuasa'. Dengan posisi bercinta tersebut, si dia jadi punya fokus lain saat bercinta, bukan hanya di bagian tubuh Anda saja.

Signs that He's Totally Into You

2011-08-25T21:31:00.002+07:00

Despite attempts to look calm, cool, and collected, there are a number a things I'll do around an initial date that clue you in that I'm interested. Here are a few:

Completing the Date

It may not indicate that you're the apple of my eye, but it does indicate that you're not a total disaster. Most people are courteous enough to do the absolute minimum on a date: finish whatever activity you're doing together and devote sufficient time out of respect for the other person. But some situations are such utter disaster, things must be cut short.

I once went out with a girl who spewed embarrassingly stupid things I couldn't respond to. Finally, I suggested changing plans to meet up with my buddies. Once a date is officially a bust, I'll look for any way out.

One on One

If I'm into you, and comfortable, I won't want to "share" you. A common tactic to combat a boring date is calling in "reinforcement" friends to "dilute" you. I'm naturally talkative with those around me, but if I invite everyone else around us into our party, I might be looking for a more interesting outlet.

Extending the Date

Suggesting something (other than going back to someone's place) after dinner like taking a walk, grabbing a drink, going for dessert, catching a movie, etc., indicates I'm asking for an encore. Although a masochist like myself might ask a girl to spend more time with me if I'm not enjoying her company.

Suggesting Another Date

Sometimes I get so excited during a first date I play my cards by suggesting other things we should do together. A common time to suggest another date is at the end of the date, though some guys just say this to be friendly. But it can't be bad if the guy is enthusiastic enough to suggest a second date. He just has to make good on his word.

Friendly Follow-Up Right After You Say Good-bye

Sometimes after a date, I'll text the girl telling her I had a great time, out of sheer giddiness. If I'm not interested after the date, I'll head straight home and begin my process of fading out of this girl's life (following up is not part of that process).

Striking While the Iron's Hot

I'll appear to be flaky or uninterested if I wait too long. If I enjoyed the date I'll contact her within a few days. This doesn't necessarily mean I'm asking her out again just yet. I'm just keeping the conversation going. If I'm not interested, I won't ever contact her again. Regardless of how great you thought things went, if he doesn't contact you again he's clearly not interested.

Consistency

Hold me to a higher standard than one extra date, or one call back after the initial date. How many times have you gone on a few dates only to have it fizzle out? You can't be sure I'm interested until we've gone out consistently for more than a month.

Non-Cliché Dates/Spontaneity

Take notice when I ask you to do random little things: run errands, go to the park. It's that next step when I'm getting to know you and showing you I want you around whenever, wherever. Spending this "informal" time with you indicates I'm interested.

Remember, guys sometimes act interested just to get laid, and there are guys who feel guilty cutting a date short when it's not going well. "Trying to be nice" actually sends the wrong signals if a guy is not interested.

Seputar Suplemen Herbal yang Paling Banyak Diburu untuk Urusan Ranjang

2011-08-25T21:27:00.001+07:00

Obat-obatan medis untuk menaikkan libido atau gairah seksual sudah banyak diproduksi seperti Viagra, Levitra atau Cialis. Meski begitu, suplemen herbal tetap banyak diburu untuk urusan seks. Apa saja suplemen herbal yang banyak diburu untuk menaikkan libido?

Meski masih minim penelitian untuk membuktikannya, menurut ginekolog Hilda Hutcherson, MD dari Columbia University Medical Center dan profesor urologi Christopher Saigal, MD dari di UCLA School of Medicine, suplemen herbal bisa menjadi alternatif dari obat-obat kimia yang juga cukup aman dikonsumsi asalkan teliti melihat labelnya.

Menurut Hutcherson seperti dilansir WebMD, suplemen umumnya tidak berbahaya. Minyak herbal dan suplemen memang membantu beberapa wanita yang mengalami masalah dengan hasrat seksual dan kekeringan vagina. Namun begitu tetap disarankan agar berbicara dahulu dengan dokter sebelum mengonsumsi suplemen karena beberapa suplemen memiliki efek samping yang berbahaya.

Sedangkan menurut Saigal, sebagian besar pria mengkonsumsi suplemen herbal karena masalah disfungsi ereksi (DE). Tips jika membeli suplemen di toko, tanyakan kualitasnya karena ada begitu banyak penipuan di industri ini.

Beberapa suplemen herbal yang paling banyak dicari untuk meningkatkan gairah seks adalah:

1. Ginseng
Ada beberapa jenis ginseng, dua di antaranya adalah ginseng Siberia, yang kadang-kadang digunakan sebagai afrodisiak (zat perangsang) dan ginseng merah Korea atau Asia yang digunakan dalam pengobatan tradisional China dan hasil penelitiannya masih jarang.

"Ginseng, seperti banyak herbal lainnya diperkirakan membantu tubuh membuat lebih banyak oksida nitrat seperti halnya Viagra. Beberapa penelitian menunjukkan efek ginseng dan orang-orang melihatnya sebagai alternatif untuk Viagra. Tapi itu tidak akan seefektif Viagra, Levitra atau Cialis," kata Saigal.

Sementara menurut Hutcherson, ginseng juga bagus untuk membantu kaum wanita. Ginseng memberi energi dan dapat meningkatkan suasana hati dan cocok untuk yang seks membutuhkan energi dan daya tahan.

2. Black Cohosh (tanaman liar mirip semak yang berwarna hijau)
Dulu, Black Cohosh digunakan untuk mengobati arthritis (rematik), nyeri otot dan secara tradisional digunakan untuk mengatasi keluhan perempuan. Saat ini, Black cohosh dipasarkan untuk mengobati hot flashes (rasa panas akibat perubahan hormon), berkeringat di malam hari, kekeringan vagina, sindrom pramenstruasi, dan gejala menopause lainnya.

"Black cohosh memiliki kandungan yang menyerupai estrogen dan meningkatkan aliran darah ke panggul yang meningkatkan gairah dan respons stimulasi seksual. Aliran darah ini berarti lebih banyak pelumas dan itu bagus untuk seks," kata Hutcherson.

3. Chasteberry
Chasteberry merupakan tanaman asli wilayah Mediterania dan Asia Barat dan telah disetujui di Jerman untuk mengatasi masalah pramenstruasi dan menstruasi. Chasteberry dapat meningkatkan hasrat seksual dengan meningkatkan hormon kimia otak, progesteron dan dopamin. Chasteberry juga menurunkan prolaktin yang mengganggu hasrat seksual.

4. L-Arginine (Arginine)
Arginine merupakan asam amino yang dibutuhkan tubuh untuk bermacam fungsi, salah satunya adalau untuk meningkatkan imunitas. Arginin juga digunakan tubuh untuk memproduksi oksida nitrat, mirip dengan cara kerja Viagra.

Penelitian menemukan bahwa Arginin dapat meningkatkan aliran darah ke penis. Suatu penelitian menunjukkan hasil yang lebih baik ketika L-arginin, glutamat dan yohimbine digabungkan.

Yohimbine sendiri disetujui di Amerika Serikat sebagai terapi obat untuk disfungsi ereksi (DE), namun seberapa banyak efek itu disebabkan oleh arginin masih belum diketahui.

Studi lain menunjukkan perbaikan yang signifikan dalam fungsi seksual ketika dosis rendah (500 mg tiga kali sehari) L-arginin dan pycnogenol digabungkan, tetapi tidak jika L-arginin digunakan sendiri. Dosis yang lebih tinggi, sekitar 5 gram per hari mungkin diperlukan untuk L-arginin agar dapat bekerja dengan sendirinya.

Arginine umumnya aman, meskipun mungkin ada interaksi obat terutama dengan obat tekanan darah tinggi. Selain itu, pria yang menggunakan Cialis, Levitra, Viagra atau nitrogliserin (nitrat) untuk nyeri dada (angina) harus berhati-hati karena menggabungkan bahan-bahan tersebut dengan L-arginin dapat menyebabkan penurunan yang serius pada tekanan darah.

"Ini sesuatu yang patut dicoba. Jika dapat bekerja untuk arteri, mungkin juga bisa membantu arteri jantung juga. Pria dengan penyakit jantung dapat mengambil manfaat dari mengkonsumsi arginin," kata Saigal.

5. Ginkgo
Ginkgo telah digunakan dalam pengobatan tradisional China selama ribuan tahun. Ekstrak daun Ginkgo saat ini digunakan untuk meningkatkan kekuatan mental, membantu Alzheimer, dan mengobati tinnitus, asma, kelelahan, dan disfungsi seksual. Beberapa studi menunjukkan bahwa ginkgo meningkatkan efek oksida nitrat yang memungkinkan aliran darah yang lebih baik ke penis.

"Ginkgo adalah salah satu herbal yang cukup populer. "Masalahnya adalah tidak ada data yang cukup banyak mengenai ginkgo untuk fungsi seksual," kata Saigal. Ginkgo diperkirakan efektif membantu pria dengan disfungsi seksual terkait dengan penggunaan antidepresan.

6. Yohimbe
Yohimbe berasal dari kulit pohon yohimbe, tanaman asli Afrika dan secara tradisional digunakan sebagai afrodisiak (zat perangsang). Saat ini, ekstrak Yohimbe telah terbukti cukup efektif dalam mengobati disfungsi ereksi (DE).

Yohimbe dapat meningkatkan ereksi dan libido, karena memiliki beberapa efek pada otak. Beberapa penelitian menunjukkan bahwa yohimbe dapat membantu DE pada pria melebihi antidepresan serta jenis lainnya, meskipun penelitian di bidang ini terbatas. Yang perlu diperhatikan, beberapa ekstrak kulit kayu Yohimbe mungkin tidak mengandung banyak Yohimbine.

Banyak suplemen menggunakan nama yang terdengar seperti Yohimbe tetapi sebenarnya tidak. Lihatlah label konten, pastikan itu dari pohon Yohimbe. Juga carilah nama bahan aktif Yohimbine atau hidroklorida yohimbine. Pada beberapa orang, yohimbine dapat menyebabkan tekanan darah tinggi, sakit perut, kecemasan atau masalah psikologis lainnya. Gunakan dengan hati-hati dan sesuai petunjuk penyedia layanan kesehatan Anda.

7. Maca
Maca adalah sayuran asli Peru yang secara tradisional digunakan sebagai afrodisiak. "Telah ada penelitian menggunakan tikus, tapi studi untuk mendukung penggunaannya sangat terbatas. Tapi karena ini sayuran, Maca tidak akan membahayakan Anda." kata Saigal.

8. Pycnogenol
Pycnogenol adalah ekstrak kulit pinus laut dari Perancis. Pycnogenol diyakini membantu melindungi pembuluh darah dan meningkatkan produksi oksida nitrat, mirip dengan L-arginin, yohimbe, ginkgo, dan ginseng. "Beberapa penelitian menunjukkan bahwa memakai L-arginin dan pycnogenol bersamaan meningkatkan produksi oksida nitrat," kata Saigal.

9. ArginMax
Jika pasien wanita tertarik pada tumbuh-tumbuhan, Hutcherson menyarankan untuk menggunakan ArginMax. ArginMax merupakan kombinasi Panax ginseng, L-arginin, ginkgo biloba, damiana, multivitamin, dan mineral. Dua penelitian klinis yang besar menemukan bahwa fungsi seksual meningkat pada wanita menopause dan lainnya dengan hasrat seksual rendah dengan mengkonsumsi ArginMax

10. Zestra
Zestra, campuran minyak dan ekstrak botani, dirancang untuk meningkatkan gairah seksual, gairah, kesenangan, dan kepuasan wanita bila digunakan pada alat kelamin perempuan.

Bahan Zestra termasuk minyak biji borage (tanaman perdu dari Eropa), minyak evening primrose, angelica ekstrak, ekstrak Coleus, vitamin C, dan vitamin E. Dalam sebuah penelitian, Zestra terbukti dapat meningkatkan sensasi seksual, gairah, kesenangan, dan kepuasan pada wanita normal dan wanita yang bermasalah dengan gairahnya.

"Gosokkan pada klitoris untuk meningkatkan aliran darah. Tapi saya tidak tahu apakah karena itu Zestra yang bekerja atau karena mereka menggosok klitoris," kata ," kata Hutcherson.

11. Vitamin E
Minyak Vitamin E bila dipakai untuk vagina dapat membantu meningkatkan pelumasan. "Ini sangat efektif," kata Hutcherson.

12. Purwaceng
Purwaceng adalah tanaman legendaris yang dijadikan obat kuat oleh para raja atau kalangan istana di daerah Jawa. Purwaceng adalah Pimpinella pruatjan (alpina). Pertama kali ditemukan di pegunungan Alpen, Swiss dengan ketinggian 2000-3000 meter di atas permukaan laut. Tumbuhan ini dikenal juga dengan nama lain Suripandak abang (pegunungan Lyang, Jawa Timur) dan Gebangan Depok (Gunung Tengger).

Akar purwaceng mempunyai sifat diuretika dan digunakan sebagai aprosidiak, yaitu khasiat obat yang dapat meningkatkan atau menambah stamina. Purwaceng diklaim dapat meningkatkan gairah seks, meningkatkan hormon testosteron dan meningkatkan jumlah spermatozoid.

Two Leading "Killers" of A Healthy, Happy Sex Life

2011-08-21T23:25:00.003+07:00

Interstitial cystitis and erectile dysfunction are the two leading "killers" of a healthy, happy sex life in Taiwan, medical groups.

Some 52-67 of every 100,000 women in Taiwan have suffered interstitial cystitis (IC), or painful bladder syndrome (PBS), according to the Women’s Healthcare and Urology Foundation of Taiwan. IC is characterized by an urgent or frequent need to urinate and is often accompanied by pelvic pain.

No one knows what causes IC/PBS, but some sufferers experience pain or other difficulties during intercourse, the foundation said. These symptoms often cause women to shun sex with their husbands, which in turn affects their marriage, it added.

IC/PBS is normally not caused by germs or infection, the foundation said, citing doctors. Rather, most researchers believe it represents a spectrum of disorders in the immune, endocrine or nervous systems, it said.

The foundation said IC/PBS is treatable. About 70 percent of sufferers usually feel better after receiving infusions of hyaluronic acid, which helps to relieve pain and the exhaustion that results from going to the bathroom all night, it said.

Tanda Anda dan Dia Punya "Chemistry"

2011-08-21T23:24:00.000+07:00

Banyak orang menggambarkan chemistry sebagai perasaan nyambung dengan seseorang (tidak harus kekasih). Meskipun baru berjumpa, Anda merasa sudah lama mengenalnya. Namun, tanda-tanda chemistry tidak hanya itu. Tanpa Anda sadari, Anda telah menunjukkan gejala bahwa Anda "nyambung" dengan pria incaran Anda ini. Tanda-tandanya bahkan lebih halus daripada hal semacam itu.

Anda ingin tahu apakah Anda punya chemistry dengan si dia? Amy Spencer, penulis buku Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match, membeberkan tujuh tanda bahwa Anda akan membangun hubungan yang baik dengan orang tersebut:

Anda menjadi kagok dan canggung
Anda jadi merasa canggung, lalu mengetuk-ngetukkan pensil ke meja atau mendenting-dentingkan gelas. "Ketika Anda memiliki chemistry yang serius, tubuh Anda meningkatkan produksi norepinephrine yang merupakan saraf-saraf penghubung," ungkap Helen Fisher, PhD, ahli anthropologi dari Rutgers University. Repotnya, hal ini malah membuat Anda canggung, tidak dapat mengkoordinasikan otak dan gerakan tangan, bahkan menimbulkan kecelakaan-kecelakaan kecil yang memalukan. Menurut Dr Fisher, ini pertanda baik. Sebab bila Anda tidak peduli bagaimana anggapan si dia tentang Anda, Anda pun tak akan memedulikan kekonyolan yang dilakukannya.

Anda jadi lebih mampu melihat secara detail
Sebelumnya, Anda tidak mengamati seseorang dengan begitu detail. Namun, mendadak Anda bisa melihat bagaimana kuku jari kelingking si dia terlihat terbelah, atau ada tahi lalat kecil di lehernya. Menurut Niko Tinbergen, seorang ahli ethologi Jerman dan pemenang Nobel, hal ini terjadi karena kadar dopamin meningkat dan membuat Anda mampu menandai Pesemua hal tersebut. Penandaan ini membuat Anda fokus pada satu orang dengan lebih jelas, dan mengamati detail paling nggak penting dari diri seseorang. Segala sesuatu jadi terlihat unik dan istimewa.

Anda jadi lebih kompromis
Chemistry yang sebenarnya membuat Anda lebih melunak daripada biasanya. Jangan kaget kalau Anda lalu jadi lebih kompromis dengan teman kencan Anda ini, dibandingkan dengan orang lain. Anda tidak keberatan meskipun harus berjalan kaki lebih jauh asalkan bersama-sama si dia. Mendadak Anda sepakat menonton film-film komedi slapstick yang sebelumnya tidak Anda sukai. Atau, mencoba makanan yang sebelumnya Anda hindari.

“Saat Anda jatuh cinta, Anda lebih mudah menyerahkan batasan-batasan Anda agar dapat menyatu bersama orang tersebut," papar Harville Hendrix, PhD, penulis buku Keeping the Love You Find.

Ruangan terlihat lebih terang daripada biasanya
Eckhard Hess, ahli biopsikologi dari University of Chicago mengatakan, ketika Anda melihat sesuatu, atau menatap seseorang yang menyebabkan perasaan menjadi positif, atau memancarkan minat khusus, pupil mata Anda melebar untuk menangkap lebih banyak gambaran tersebut. Alhasil, mata pun menangkap lebih banyak cahaya, dan ruangan pun jadi terlihat lebih terang.

Anda merasa lebih gelisah
Berulangkali mengelus lengan, menepuk-nepuk kaki, atau merasa gelisah selama kencan berlangsung, ternyata merupakan tanda baik: Anda memang menyukai pria ini. “Itu namanya gerakan perpindahan, yang Anda lakukan ketika Anda mencoba memutuskan apa yang harus Anda lakukan dengan diri Anda," jelas Dr Fisher. “Tahu kan, ketika seseorang tersenyum pada Anda, tapi Anda tak tahu pasti harus tersenyum balik atau mengalihkan wajah, lalu Anda memain-mainkan rambut.”

Hal ini terjadi karena otak mengalami over stimulasi, yang membuat Anda mengeluarkan energi berlebih dengan sedikit merapikan penampilan. Beberapa pakar lain mengatakan bahwa meraba-raba lengan atau kaki menunjukkan keinginan bawah sadar untuk menyentuh orang yang Anda hadapi.

Lupa makan
Ketika Anda merasa punya chemistry dengan seseorang, Anda begitu terpaku pada apa yang Anda bicarakan, sampai lupa menyentuh makanan yang dihidangkan di meja. Anda sama sekali tidak memikirkan makanan, dan hal ini bukan karena Anda merasa tegang. Penyebabnya adalah meningkatnya kadar dopamin, yang memicu perasaan menginginkan. "Kadar dopamin yang lebih tinggi memberi perasaan ringan, meningkatkan energi, dan merasakan suatu ekstasi minor. Dan Anda sama sekali tidak lapar!" kata Dr Fisher.

Anda merasa punya banyak kesamaan
Anda tidak merasakan nafsu terhadap pria ini, tetapi lebih tertarik dengan berbagai kesamaan antara Anda dan dia yang Anda temukan. Chemistry yang terjadi di tempat kerja, misalnya, menurut Dr Hendrix, disebabkan pusat emosi dalam sistem limbik di otak Anda mengenali karakter si dia, yang mirip dengan karakter orang yang mengasuh Anda waktu kecil. Sebagai contoh, Anda merasa nyaman dengan humor yang dilontarkan lawan bicara Anda, karena mirip dengan cara ayah Anda berinteraksi dengan Anda.

“Kesamaan yang intens ini memicu pelepasan dopamin, yang menimbulkan perasaan 'wow'," tukas Dr Hendrix. Saat perasaan itu muncul, Anda pun jadi makin terpikat padanya secara fisik.

I Dreamt of Another Man Last Night. What Does That Mean?

2011-08-15T12:42:00.002+07:00

Most of us have sex-related dreams at one time or another, but dreaming about an old boyfriend or a hunky coworker “doesn’t mean that you want to cheat on your spouse,” says Dr. Barrett. Sex dreams are less about wanting to have sex with that person and more about desiring an attribute he represents. So if you dream about a college fling, for example, “you may be feeling nostalgic for a time when you were young and carefree,” says Dr. Barrett.

The same holds true if you dream about sex with a man you don’t know. “When you wake up, ask yourself what characteristics the stranger had, and whether or not those are traits you wish your husband possessed,” says Dr. Barrett. Most of the time, pleasant sex dreams don’t mean you’re dissatisfied with your sex life or unhappy in your marriage. You just want a little of what your “dream” man symbolizes, like assertiveness, say, or nurturing.

When should you take note? “If the dream involves a negative, like having sex in public while strangers recoil, it could be your own sexual anxieties spilling over into your dreams,” says Dr. Barrett. Perhaps you’re feeling embarrassed about something your husband wants you to do in bed. Your best bet in this case? Talk to him about it.

Jangan Membenci Tubuh Anda Sendiri

2011-08-15T12:40:00.000+07:00

Cukup banyak wanita (juga pria) yang tidak merasa percaya diri dengan tubuhnya. Mereka akhirnya akan menolak bercinta jika mereka merasa gemuk.

"Secara emosional, kita sudah termakan definisi media soal bagaimana tubuh seksi itu. Pesan yang disampaikan biasanya, Anda harus tampil dengan tubuh sedemikian rupa jika ingin disebut seksi," jelas Clayton.

Pesan yang salah itu akhirnya membuat orang tersebut semakin minder dengan tubuhnya. Mereka malu memiliki tubuh gemuk atau berlemak, apalagi jika dilihat pasangannya.

Solusi: "Jangan pikirkan tentang lemak pada perut atau riasan pada wajah Anda," ujar Dr. Ruth. "Nikmati saja apa yang diberikan oleh pasangan. Anda harus rileks mendapatkan orgasme," tuturnya lagi.

"Pria ingin istri mereka membebaskan dirinya saat bercinta, dan hal ini tidak akan mungkin jika istrinya cemas akan penampilan fisiknya," tambah Les Parrot, profesor psikologi di universitas Seattle Pacific, seraya menekankan agar wanita lebih percaya diri.

Sementara menurut seorang antropolog yang juga penulis buku 'Why Him, Why Her', Dr Helen Fisher, pria tidak memperhatikan setengah dari apa yang dikhawatirkan wanita. "Sangat luar biasa sebenarnya karena saat Anda merasa antusias, bersemangat dan bergairah, pria tidak akan memperhatikannya (kekurangan pada tubuh wanita)," jelasnya.

Bigger Income Leads to Better Sex

2011-08-10T10:14:00.002+07:00

A survey by a reliable institution -Relationships Australia- has revealed that people's sex lives improve along with their income - and that the magic number for satisfaction starts at about $80,000.

Only 44 per cent of people with a household income under $60,000 a year are sexually active, compared with 81 per cent of people with a household income of more than $80,000 a year.

Money worries were a leading cause of relationship breakdown, said Relationships Australia executive director for development and practice, Samantha Aldridge.

'When you look at households earning under $60,000, less than half of them are sexually active,' she said. 'It would be difficult to manage a household on $60,000 without feeling some financial pressure. Financial stress has a huge impact on relationship satisfaction and on intimacy and, now we know also, sexual activity.'

The findings of the Relationships Indicators Survey 2011 showed that 60 per cent of Australians aged 18 and over are sexually active.

But it is not the tempting 20-somethings or the flirty 30s enjoying the most satisfying love lives. Instead, satisfaction levels are likely to be higher among those in their 40s and seniors, the survey of 1200 people found. Only 65 per cent of respondents aged 25 to 34 are contented with their sexual activity.

The happiest age group are the 40- to 49-year-olds, with 74 per cent of whom are pleased with their passionate pursuits. But the 60- to 69-year-olds and the over 70s are not far behind - 72 per cent of respondents in both age groups reported that they are satisfied with their sex lives. Ms Aldridge said people in their late 20s and early 30s are under a lot of pressure.

Punya Anak Bisa Bikin Sehat

2011-08-10T10:13:00.000+07:00

Hampir setiap pasangan suami isteri pasti mendambakan hadirnya sang buah hati. Namun, dalam beberapa situasi, ada sebagian pasangan yang sengaja menunda untuk mempunyai momongan. Tetapi tahukah Anda, bahwa kehadiran buah hati, akan membuat hidup Anda lebih sehat.

Berikut ini adalah sejumlah manfaat kesehatan yang dapat Anda peroleh dengan kehadiran momongan ditengah-tengah kehidupan Anda:

1. Menurunkan tekanan darah Anda Sebuah studi terbaru oleh Brigham Young University menemukan bahwa menjadi orangtua dapat membantu Anda menurunkan tekanan darah. Peneliti mengamati 200 pasangan yang telah menikah untuk memonitor tekanan darah selama 24 jam. Hasilnya ditemukan bahwa pasangan yang mempunyai anak, secara signifikan tekanan darahnya lebih rendah dibandingkan mereka yang tanpa keturunan.

2. Kesehatan mental

Kepercayaan yang berkembang dimasyarakat saat ini, anak seringkali membuat orang tua menjadi stres karena kelakukan nakal mereka. Namun hasil penelitian di Mental Health Foundation, Taiwan mengklaim, kehadiran anak justru akan membuat orang tua terlihat lebih sehat secara mental. Sebuah organisasi baru telah mewawancarai 1.084 keluarga yang dipilih secara acak dan ditemukan bahwa keluarga yang tidak memiliki anak kesehatan mentalnya 6,4 poin lebih rendah dibandingkan mereka yang memiliki anak.

"Hasil penelitian menunjukkan bahwa orang yang memiliki anak lebih bahagia dan memiliki kepuasan emosional yang lebih besar dibandingkan mereka yang tidak memiliki anak," kata Tom Yang, peneliti utama studi tersebut.

3. Memperbaharui pengetahuan

Siapapun yang memiliki anak bisa membuktikan bahwa kata-kata yang sering diucapkan seorang anak adalah "mengapa”. Anak-anak pada dasarnya selalu mempunyai rasa ingin tahu yang besar, misalnya saja seperti, "Mengapa mata kucing bersinar saat malam hari?", "Kenapa bau begitu segar setelah hujan "dan lain sebagainya.

Sebagai orang tua, Anda tentu harus dapat menjawab setiap pertanyaan yang dilontarkan si kecil dengan sebuah jawaban yang masuk akal. Dan secara tidak langsung, Anda telah diarahkan untuk memoles pengetahuan dengan kembali belajar mempelajari sesuatu.

4. Anak sebagai Alasan

Banyak pria lajang yang sering mengeluh bahwa teman-teman mereka yang sudah menikah dan memiliki anak, sangat sulit untuk diajak hang out. Hal ini terjadi karena kebanyakan orangtua menggunakan anak-anak mereka sebagai alasan untuk menghindar dari kegiatan sosial yang tidak diinginkan.

5. Meningkatkan harga diri Siapapun yang memiliki anak pasti akan merasa bangga dan puas ketika seorang anak memberikan suatu ucapan positif misalnya, “kau adalah ayah terbaik diseluruh dunia”. Ucapan seperti ini pastinya akan memiliki efek mendalam pada harga diri Anda sebagai orang tua. Hal ini memungkinkan Anda untuk menyelesaikan segala bentuk pekerjaan yang Anda diperkirakan sebelumnya tidak mungkin menjadi mungkin.

6. Lebih bahagia

Para orang tua sudah sejak lama beranggapan bahwa sebuah keturunan akan membuat mereka jauh lebih bahagia. Dan baru-baru ini, ada sebuah studi yang mendukung klaim tersebut. Sebuah studi yang dilakukan Max Planck Institute for Demographic menemukan korelasi langsung antara kehadiran anak dan kebahagiaan orang tua di atas usia 40.

Peneliti menyurvei 200.000 orang di 86 negara antara tahun 1981 dan 2005 dan menemukan bahwa pada usia 40 tahun, orang tua dengan 1-3 anak merasa jauh lebih bahagia dibandingkan pasangan yang tidak memiliki anak. Bahkan ketika usia 50, orangtua yang memiliki anak akan lebih bahagia daripada pasangan yang tanpa anak. Temuan ini tidak mengherankan. Pasalnya, kebanyakan orangtua akan lebih mudah merawat anak ketika mereka tumbuh dewasa.

Let Your Kids Be Kids

2011-08-04T09:54:00.003+07:00

Childhood experts and those who have studied the stressed-out are weighing in on the ways we can help our children reclaim simpler pleasures. Here are a few of their suggestions for slowing down and getting a little balance back into kids' lives:

Embrace the joy of goofing around. If you live in an area where you can let your child run amok with his friends outdoors, let him; if you don't, remember that just hanging with friends and neighbors indoors can be great too.

Limit kids to one or two activities per season. For her book The Overachievers, which chronicled the lives of hyper-competitive teens destined for prestigious colleges, Alexandra Robbins interviewed kids of all ages; she found some as young as 6 who complained of stress, and 8-year-olds who were carrying day planners. "Kids may have lots of energy, but they get as tense as adults would when they're overscheduled," Robbins says. Hence, One-on-one time is great.

Encourage more human time, less screen and toy time. Our children are spending larger and larger chunks of time with stuff and less time with people. Even with something as simple as a car ride...parents used to use car time to talk to their kids, and now the kids are watching DVDs in the backseat.

Introduce computers with caution. Many childhood experts agree that the interactive quality of computers can be powerfully motivating for kids who are learning to read and write—and games can be just plain pleasurable, too. But, notes computers are finding their ways into tinier and tinier hands.

Reclaim summer. It's time for all of us to stop thinking of summer vacation as an opportunity to burnish a résumé. Children and parents need that hiatus to recharge. As a bonus, if you relax over the summer, you're going to be rejuvenated in time for back-to-school. When else are your kids going to catch lightning bugs and learn to play games like Jailbreak with the neighborhood kids?

Learn to trust your child. This may be the most important parenting rule of all. Children are self-directed learners—they are naturally curious—and how they learn is through play.

Puasa Seks atau Sex Detox

2011-08-04T09:52:00.000+07:00

Puasa seks dapat dilakukan hingga 30 hari lamanya. Upaya ini dapat membantu memperbarui hubungan setiap pasangan dan mengembalikan gairah seksual yang sempat padam.

Mengapa perlu "sex detox"?

Terkadang Anda harus melupakan seks sementara waktu untuk memahami masalah yang mungkin menghantui dan mengganggu keharmonisan Anda. Jika Anda melakukan seks sekadar menuntaskan kewajiban, melakukan orgasme semu, atau gairah menurun karena merasa tidak tertarik, detoks dapat membantu dalam memecahkan masalah dan menelusuri apa yang tengah terjadi dengan Anda.

Bagaimana melakukannya?

Setiap hari selama 30 hari "berpuasa", Anda harus melakukan aktivitas yang berbeda, membaca, atau merenung untuk mengeksplorasi banyak hal yang memengaruhi kehidupan seks Anda. Anda mungkin bisa melihat foto-foto kenangan keluarga untuk mempelajari bagaimana pengaruh ini berperan di masa kanak-kanak atau Anda juga bisa memeriksakan kesehatan Anda secara keseluruhan. Idealnya, detoks dilakukan suami dan istri bersamaan, tetapi Anda juga dapat melakukannya sendiri. Terkadang bila detoks ini memberi pengaruh positif, pasangan Anda juga akan mengikutinya.

Apa manfaat "sex detox"?

Anda akan mendapat pemahaman dan pengetahuan lebih luas mengenai apa yang terjadi dalam kehidupan seksual dan bagaimana pengaruhnya terhadap hubungan Anda dan sebaliknya. Perasaan Anda akan merasa lebih tersambung dan siap untuk berkomunikasi dengan pasangan. Kalaupun Anda tak mampu menahan gairah selama 30 hari penuh, pelanggaran mungkin akan membuat seks justru menjadi lebih hot, dan hasilnya tidak akan terlalu buruk.

Wanted: Sperm Donor

2011-07-31T15:23:00.002+07:00

Women looking for a sperm donor often make the daddy of all choices based on limited physical details such as the man's height or hair colour.

But mothers-to-be will soon be able to pick the father of their child from a catalogue listing his personality traits, interests and even fashion sense - all from the comfort of their own home.

The online brochure is being compiled by the London Sperm Bank for infertile couples and single and lesbian women. It includes written statements from each man on why he is donating, plus staff assessments of what he is like.

A sperm bank spokesman explained that women will not have to go to the clinic to pick their man. 'They can access the catalogue from home and make their choices online,' she said.

By law, clinics are not required to give personal details about donors - and must not provide any information that will identify the men. Several banks do offer lists of basic physical traits, and some give occupations and hobbies.

Cara Mengontrol Diri Setelah Putus Cinta

2011-07-31T15:21:00.000+07:00

Tidak ada gunanya bersikap emosional ketika Anda telah mengetahui akar permasalahannya dan telah sama-sama setuju untuk berpisah. Ada beberapa cara untuk mengontrol diri Anda setelah putus cinta, seperti yang dilansir Thirdage.

1. 'Nikmati' Kesedihan Anda
Sedih, kecewa dan marah pasti bercampur aduk menjadi satu. Ikuti saja perasaan ini. Jangan berusaha menahan semua perasaan duka, karena malah menyakiti diri Anda sendiri. Menangislah jika ingin menangis. Ini cara untuk mengeluarkan beban yang ada di dalam hati Anda.

2. Curhat pada Teman
Jangan dipendam sendiri. Berceritalah pada sahabat, apa yang Anda rasakan. Tentu dalam masa galau setelah putus cinta, Anda butuh hiburan dari orang lain. Dengan bertemu teman, sedikit demi sedikit Anda bisa kembali ceria.

3. Menulis
Menerjemahkan lewat tulisan bisa menjadi cara untuk mengekspresikan perasaan. Ini bisa membuat Anda lebih lega karena telah menumpahkan kesedihan dan kemarahan.

4. Tuliskan Hal Negatif dari Mantan
Tuliskan sikap dan sifatnya yang Anda tidak suka. Ini akan mengingatkan bahwa Anda pantas mendapatkan yang terbaik dan menyadarkan Anda bahwa perpisahan merupakan jalan terbaik.

5. Tuliskan Kelebihan Anda
Setelah menuliskan hal negatif tentangnya, jabarkan kelebihan-kelebihan Anda. Dengan begini, Anda menjadi lebih percaya diri. Karena dalam masa putus cinta dan patah hati, tak jarang wanita menjadi rendah diri.

6. Singkirkan Barang-barang Pemberiannya
Foto berdua dengannya yang masih terpajang di meja kerja atau parfum dari si mantan mungkin bisa mengingatkan kenangan tentangnya. Agar Anda tidak kembali sedih dan terus mengingat mantan kekasih, singkirkan semua hal yang berkaitan dengannya.

Where Do You Go When You Need Urgent Cash with Instant Approval?

2011-07-26T10:14:00.005+07:00

Most of us receive our salary payment at the end of the month, and sometimes we can have a situation that needs urgent cash before receiving our salary payment. We can get our urgent cash from many sources. Forget the bank, as they do not serve small credit, or if they do, the process is usually terribly complicated. We can borrow money from our work places, or from friends and family, but this option is not popular except you don’t mind if people rumoring around about your personal financial issues. Worry no more, as today we have a very easy and fast option to deal with urgent cash, it calls payday loans online. Yes, it comes from online sources, meaning you don’t even have to leave your home.

We can find so many companies that serve payday loans online on these days, just ensure that you pick the right company among the available payday loans online businesses. Many companies offer very low rates but please watch out for undisclosed fee and other charges. You need to carefully read the term and condition, and ask if you still have questions in mind before deciding. The best way to do it is to compare between companies that serve this type of loans, you can visit a site that compile recommended payday loans’ companies, and from this website you can easily compare between payday loans providers.

Highly competitive world of payday loans online has forced companies to give their best offers, and this is good news for those who seek for this type of loans. This condition makes payday loans become even a greater option to bridge your financial needs until you receive your next paycheck. To apply, in most cases, the applicants only need to create an account, sign in, filling a short form and that’s it. No document needs to be faxed, no interview, no need to face traffic jam, you don’t have to worry about the weather; all is done through the internet. You just need a fast and stable internet connection, and a computer to start your loan application.

The process is very fast, that’s why payday loans are also called as fast loans, and the fund is usually transferred to your bank account within the next day after the approval of your payday loan application. You need to be at least 18 years to apply, a U.S citizen, have certain amount of regular/monthly income, and that’s all you need to apply. You can find many websites that offer this type of loans, just search using the search engine or simply visit paydayloansonlinehub.com to get more information about payday loans online.

Video Games Addiction being Blamed for Divorce

2011-07-22T13:39:00.003+07:00

A growing number of marriages are being wrecked by video game addiction. More women filing for divorce are complaining that their husbands spend too long playing video games, according to research.

Of those wives who cite unreasonable behaviour for ending their marriage, 15 per cent believe their partners put gaming before them. This has soared from five per cent a year ago, the study by Divorce Online found.

In particular, disgruntled wives blamed World of Warcraft, which allows gamers to create their own fantasy character for mythical adventures, and Call Of Duty, where gamers battle in various war zones.

The games have faced heavy criticism in the past for their addictive properties, with some claiming that World of Warcraft is more addictive than cocaine. One wife who blames her husband’s obsession for the breakdown of their marriage is Jessica Ellis, 24, from London.

Kunci Utama Diet Agar Cepat Hamil

2011-07-22T13:38:00.000+07:00

Begitu banyak cara dilakukan pasangan seperti ini agar bisa mendapat momongan. Salah satunya adalah dengan mengonsumsi makanan yang tepat, agar kehamilan bisa lebih mudah terjadi. Jorge E. Chavarro, MD, ScD, asisten profesor di bidang Nutrisi dan Epidemiologi di Harvard School of Public Health dan penulis buku The Fertility Diet, memberikan beberapa tips berikut ini.

Dapatkan asupan protein dari sumber nabati
Menurut riset Chavarro terhadap 18.000 responden, makanan yang meningkatkan kadar insulin terlalu banyak dapat menyebabkan sulit hamil. "Tidak semua protein dicerna dengan cara yang sama. Protein hewani memerlukan lebih banyak insulin untuk dapat dicerna," begitu penjelasan Chavarro. Karenanya, coba perbanyak konsumsi protein nabati, misalnya dari bahan makanan dari kacang kedelai.

Kurangi lemak trans
Lemak jenis ini banyak ditemukan pada makanan yang diolah dengan cara dipanggang dan digoreng. Lemak trans dapat meningkatkan kadar insulin. Lebih baik, perbanyak konsumsi lemak tak jenuh tunggal, seperti yang terdapat pada alpukat, kacang-kacangan, dan minyak zaitun. Jenis lemak ini diyakini para ahli dapat menurunkan risiko ketidaksuburan.

Hindari lonjakan gula yang berlebihan
Mengonsumsi karbohidrat yang mudah dicerna, seperti roti putih, kentang, dan gula, dapat membuat kadar gula melonjak naik, sehingga insulin juga jadi terangsang produksinya. Carolyn Dean, MD, ND, salah satu penulis The Yeast Connection and Women's Health, menyatakan bahwa jenis karbohidrat seperti ini juga sangat berpengaruh terhadap pertumbuhan ragi secara berlebihan.

5 ways Fast Ways to Get His Attention

2011-07-18T12:21:00.004+07:00

Non verbal communication expert and coauthor says that women have four opportunities to impress others — at a distance, when you shake hands, as you converse, and as you leave.

Armed with this knowledge, why not use the first minute or two with your (potential) Mr. Right doing everything, well, right? Here are some great tips for catching his eye — and maybe even his heart — in those crucial early moments.

1. Wear something red
You can do something to command attention before you even leave the house by putting on a fetching red sweater or dress. A study recently published in British Psychological Society Research Digest shows that humans are attracted to the color red. Researchers found that when a woman wears the ever-popular crimson hue, men sit closer to her and ask more intimate questions.

2. Work those pretty peepers
Eye contact is important, even before you introduce yourself the person you’d like to get to know better. In fact, if it’s done right, your eyes can literally bring him to you. Navarro suggests softening your features before scoping out someone cute, Always look with a relaxed face. A smile is fine, but it’s not needed as long as the look says.

3. Speak at a natural volume
If you feel tempted to lower your voice an octave or two when you meet a good-looking man, you’re not alone. American psychologists at Pennsylvania’s Albright College and the University of Baltimore found that both men and women lower the tone of their speaking voices when they find the person they’re chatting up to be attractive. The catch is men tend to prefer feminine, melodious voices, so making any extra effort isn’t necessarily worth it.

4. Relax and use humor to break the ice
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that flirting isn’t rocket science. Chances are that guy wants to meet you, too.

Everyone likes witty and funny/smart people, but the tone should stay lighthearted — no one likes people who are too aggressive in their opinions or use vulgar language, gestures or anecdotes.” In other words, it’s OK to let your inner Lisa Lampanelli out…but wait until after you’ve gotten to know someone first.

5. Keep your body language open
If you tend to be a bit shy, it might feel natural to cross your arms or turn slightly away from others, but people are more sensitive to these cues than you think. If you want to strike up a conversation with an attractive stranger, pay attention to the signals your body language is sending. Don’t fidget, look down, or slouch. Instead, sit or stand in a relaxed and confident manner.

Riset: Sperma Bisa Bikin Ketagihan?

2011-07-18T12:21:00.001+07:00

Berikut ini kutipan artikel dari Psychology Today. Katanya, ada fakta bahwa wanita yang tidak memakai kondom lebih tidak depresi dan lebih kecil kemungkinan untuk berusaha bunuh diri dibandingkan wanita yang berhubungan seks dengan memakai kondom dan yang secara seksual tidak aktif.

Fakta ini mendorong seorang periset menyimpulkan bahwa semen atau cairan sperma mengandung senyawa kimia yang dahsyat (powerful) dan berpotensi menggairahkan suasana hati (mood) yang bersifat membuat ketagihan.

Periset yang penasaran itu, Gordon G Gallup, PhD, seorang psikolog di State University of New York di Albany, Amerika Serikat, juga mendapati, wanita yang secara teratur berhubungan seks tanpa memakai kondom, tingkat depresinya juga akan semakin meningkat seiring dengan lamanya waktu yang berlalu sejak terakhir kali mereka berhubungan seks.

Dari 293 mahasiswi yang disurvei Gallup didapati pula bahwa mereka yang tidak memakai kondom adalah yang paling berkemungkinan berinisiatif dalam hal seks dan segera mencari pasangan baru begitu relasi yang mereka jalin berakhir.

Daftar Manfaat Seks yang Menyehatkan

2011-07-18T12:19:00.000+07:00

Hubungan seks bukan hanya penting yang menjaga kesehatan hubungan tetapi juga cara yang menyenangkan untuk tetap sehat. Karena itu jangan biarkan gairah cinta Anda dan pasangan meredup agar bisa memetik manfaat sehat berikut ini.

Meningkatkan percaya diri

Memiliki kepercayaan diri bukan hanya penting untuk Anda tapi juga orang di sekitar. Bagaiaman Anda memandang diri di dunia ikut menentukan cara Anda berinteraksi dengan orang lain baik dalam hubungan sosial atau pekerjaan.

Melakukan hubungan seks dengan cara yang Anda inginkan akan membantu kita lebih bahagia. Bersama dengan seseorang yang mencintai dan menerima Anda apa adanya sudah tentu akan meningkatkan kepercayaan diri.

Mengurangi stres

Stres yang berlangsung lama (kronik) berdampak negatif pada kesehatan. Selain mengurangi kekebalan tubuh, stres juga akan meningkatkan tekanan darah serta membuat kita rentan mengalami kecemasan dan depresi.

Hubungan seks yang menyenangkan dan dilakukan secara teratur telah terbukti menurunkan tekanan darah dan membuat kita mampu menghadapi masalah yang berkontribusi pada stres. Seks juga membuat komunikasi dengan pasangan lebih lancar sehingga Anda berdua bisa mengungkapkan perasaan.

Membakar kalori

Hubungan seks bisa dikategorikan ke dalam olahraga karena mampu membakar 90 kalori dalam setengah jam.

Menguatkan hubungan

Berintim-intim di ranjang akan menyebabkan peningkatan hormon-hormon tertentu, termasuk ketika Anda dan pasangan melakukan obrolan mesra sesudah bercinta. Hormon yang penting adalah oksitosin yang sering disebut "hormon cinta". Hormon ini sangat diperlukan untuk menguatkan ikatan cinta dengan pasangan.

Mencegah kanker prostat

Beberapa penelitian menunjukkan pria yang sering melakukan ejakulasi (sekitar 5 kali dalam seminggu) lebih jarang terkena kanker prostat. Proses ejakulasi sendiri, yang melibatkan prostat, sebenarnya adalah mengeluarkan produk tubuh yang bisa menyebabkan kanker.

Menyehatkan jantung

Bercinta sudah disebutkan termasuk kegiatan fisik yang bisa membakar kalori. Bahkan pria yang sudah lanjut usia tidak perlu khawatir terkena serangan jantung atau stroke asalkan hubungan seks dilakukan secara perlahan-lahan. Bercinta secara teratur (2-3 kali seminggu) disebutkan bisa mengurangi risiko serangan jantung pada pria lanjut usia.

Mengurangi nyeri

Menderita nyeri kronik bisa menurunkan kualitas hidup dan membuat tubuh lebih rentan stres, susah tidur, bahkan depresi. Acara bercinta yang panas dan teratur bisa dilakukan untuk menghindari penggunaan obat penghilang sakit. Penelitian menunjukkan hormon oksitosin dan endorfin yang dikeluarkan saat bercinta bisa menghilangkan sakit dengan cara menurunkan persepsi dari sinyal nyeri dari area tubuh yang bermasalah.

Membantu tidur nyenyak

Setelah "bertempur" di ranjang dengan pasangan tubuh akan menjadi lebih rileks sehingga tidur pun lebih nyenyak. Hal ini ada hubungannya dengan peningkatan hormon oksitosin dan endorfin setelah orgasme.

Why do we play paintball?

2011-07-13T09:54:00.005+07:00

There are many extreme sports and one of them is paintball. Paintball has become the fastest growth extreme sport these days. Nearly every weekend across the world, thousands of paintball players enjoy this sport. Paintball offers many thrilling scenario games; these scenarios provide so many excitements. We can see that almost in every weekend, nearly every paintball parks & paintball fields are fully booked.

With the internet, people can find details of every extreme sport quite easily, that’s including paintball. Many of us know about this sport from the internet, while the rest were introduced from other sources, such as TV, group of friends or office colleagues. This type of sport uses not only strength but also strategy to win the game, it needs all members within the team to work together to execute the strategy in order to win. Paintball has also been broadly known as a character-building sport, and for those reasons, many corporate events or team-building events are using this sport to introduce the significance of working together as a team and also to strengthen the character of their members.

Paintball players are not only learning about teamwork while playing, they are also gaining self-confidence and developing leadership abilities, and all this can be achieved while having fun. Those are the main reasons that put paintball gains more and more popularity especially within corporations. They find so many benefits of having their staff and management participate in paintball games, while for other groups such as people who seek for fun, there is no doubt that paintball offers nothing but excitement and fun!

Paintball is an extreme sport, we all are aware about this fact. Like every extreme sport, players need to take extra preventative measure. Besides strategy, players need to cover themselves with protective clothes and gears. For this matter, players can visit and shop at the online stores, they sells paintball gear, cloth and accessory. Do not forget to cover yourself with high quality products, because they use high quality material; always put your safety first.

When we were children, we used to play hide and seek. Many of us have found that paintball are simply an evolved version of hide and seek for grown-ups, of course plus strategy! We grow up but it doesn't mean that we stop playing together in teams and enjoying ourselves. Paintball is an extreme sport that almost everyone can play but again, players need to use protective clothes and gears. Now, pick up your own team and have fun!

Why A Romantic Read Can Harm Love Lives

2011-07-12T11:02:00.002+07:00

Generations of women have devoured Mills & Boon-style romantic fiction. But the ‘rose-tinted’ novels are damaging modern relationships, a leading psychologist claims.

The genre may still account for almost half the novels bought, but its idealised love and sex give readers false expectations, insists relationships expert Susan Quilliam.

And although the stories can be enjoyable and fun, they encourage unreal expectations of a life of unbridled passion and trouble-free pregnancies, she added.

Miss Quilliam hit out at portrayals of non-consensual sex and female characters who are ‘awakened’ by a man rather than being in charge of their own desires.

Writing in the Journal of Family Planning and Reproductive Health Care, the TV agony aunt said: ‘Clearly those messages run counter to those we try to promote.

‘A huge number of the issues we see in clinics and therapy rooms are influenced by romantic fiction.

‘What we see is more likely to be influenced by Mills & Boon than the Family Planning Association.’

The books have come a long way in terms of depicting a more realistic view of the world, but ‘still a deep strand of escapism, perfectionism and idealisation runs through the genre’.

Sang Pembunuh Libido

2011-07-12T11:01:00.000+07:00

Berikut adalah beberapa pembunuh libido yang paling sering dialami pria dan wanita, seperti dilansir Lifemojo:

1. Obesitas
Pada pria kelebihan berat badan, sel lemak memproduksi estrogen (hormon wanita) yang mengurangi gairah seksual. Dan seks menjadi salah satu faktor paling ampuh untuk menurunkan berat badan. Orang yang berolahraga secara teratur memiliki dorongan seks yang lebih tinggi.

2. Stres
Stres di tempat kerja, rumah tangga, masalah keuangan atau hanya sibuk dengan kebiasaan makan yang buruk bisa mempengaruhi kehidupan seks Anda.

3. Kurang tidur
Kurang tidur adalah salah satu pembunuh terbesar gairah seks. Hal ini dapat terjadi karena rutinitas kerja yang tidak teratur, kelelahan ekstrem, insomnia dan tidur terlalu sedikit membuat Anda lelah dan kurang berstamina.

4. Alkohol
Alkohol dapat mempengaruhi libido dalam jangka panjang. Masalah ini dapat diatasi dengan mengurangi konsumsi alkohol meskipun yang terbaik adalah tidak minum alkohol sama sekali.

5. Obat-obatan
Antidepresan contoh obat-obatan yang dapat menyebabkan libido rendah dan memberi efek yang merugikan pada orgasme. Bahan kimia tertentu yang ada dalam obat menghasilkan dampak negatif pada otak dan mempengaruhi libido Anda.

6. Depresi
Salah satu dampak dari depresi adalah kurangnya minat dalam seks. Depresi adalah punya dua efek buruk karena mengurangi gairah seks dan obat-obatan untuk mengobati depresi juga menghasilkan efek yang sama.

7. Diet yang salah
Diet memainkan peran utama dalam keseluruhan kebahagiaan dan kesejahteraan. Bagaimanapun, Anda adalah apa yang Anda makan. Jika Anda mencerna makanan olahan dan bahan kimia berbahaya, maka akibatnya bisa menurunkan gairah seksual.

8. Testosteron rendah
Gairah seks dipengaruhi oleh tingkat testosteron. Hal ini juga berlaku untuk wanita. Jika kadar testosteron Anda terlalu rendah, libido cenderung menurun. Ini bisa diperbaiki dengan terapi testosteron dan nutrisi tertentu yang bisa menaikkan testosteron secara alami.

9. Baru melahirkan
Jika Anda baru memiliki bayi di rumah, Anda harus memberikan perhatian yang penuh selama 24 jam 7 hari seminggu. Sebagai hasilnya, Anda tidak mendapatkan waktu untuk melakukan hal lain, termasuk melakukan hubungan intim. Selain itu, stamina Anda juga akan terkuras banyak dengan mengurus bayi.

Study: Social-networking Site interrupts Family Life

2011-07-08T19:19:00.003+07:00

Family life is being disrupted because parents and children are overwhelmed by the huge volumes of emails and social messaging updates they are handling each day, according to a new study.

As a result one in three of us are now desperate to cut down our use of Twitter and Facebook as well as emails. Surprisingly the study, by Cambridge University, found children as well as adults preferred to communicate face to face.

More than half of all families said a 'technology-free' time is important and a third of parents said technology had disrupted family life. The findings led family groups to warn that if parents end up spending more time checking emails and social networks than with their children it could have a detrimental effect on the home.

Amongst children aged 10 to 18, who have grown up with new technology, 38% admitted to feeling overwhelmed by the volume of messages. Similar numbers of adults felt the same way, with 34 per cent of 25 to 34 year olds agreeing.

Justine Roberts, founder of parenting website Mumsnet, warned: 'Social media is something we have to keep a watch on because it can eat into your life.'

Senam Kegel Bisa Meningkatkan Kualitas Ereksi

2011-07-08T19:17:00.000+07:00

Senam kegel yang latihannya seperti menahan pipis jarang dilakukan laki-laki, padahal bisa juga dipakai untuk mengatasi ejakulasi dini dan bahkan memperkeras ereksi.

Teknik senam Kegel yang mudah dilakukan caranya adalah kontraksikan otot seperti menahan kencing untuk awalnya selama 5 detik, kemudian kendurkan. Terus ulangi latihan tersebut setidaknya lima kali berturut-turut dengan meningkatkan lama waktu menahan kencing 15-20 detik.

Latihan ini tergolong mudah karena bisa dilakukan kapan saja dan hanya membutuhkan waktu beberapa menit. Latihan bisa dilakukan di kursi kerja, sambil duduk, sambil berjalan, sambil berdiri, atau berbaring.

Secara prinsip, tidak ada perbedaan teknik pada senam kegel untuk laki-laki maupun perempuan. Gerakan dasarnya adalah menggerakkan otot-otot panggul seperti saat menahan kencing, kemudian menahannya selama beberapa saat sebelum dilepaskan kembali.

Pada perempuan, gerakan-gerakan senam kegel bisa memperkuat otot panggul sehingga sangat bermanfaat bagi yang punya hernia atau memiliki masalah dengan dasar panggul. Bisa juga untuk mengencangkan kembali Ms V yang mulai longgar, khususnya setelah melahirkan.

Pada laki-laki, senam ini kurang populer meski berbagai penelitian membuktikan cara ini cukup efektif mengatasi ejakulasi dini. Dengan melatih otot-otot di sekitar panggul, seorang laki-laki jadi lebih mampu mengontrol waktu yang tepat untuk ejakulasi.

Signs he’ll make a good dad

2011-06-29T23:57:00.002+07:00

What can you tell now about whether he’ll be a great father down the line? Check out these telling traits.

1. He treats his mother well. What kind of family man will he be? First look at his relationship with his mom. Does he respect her? Laugh with her easily? Enjoy visiting her? Help out with chores or errands? “If the answer is yes, all of this means she did a good job raising him, he naturally likes women, and will like the mom you will become.

2. He’s selfless. What’s the number one thing you learn when you become a parent? You never come first anymore! So if you’re with a guy who thinks he’s the center of the universe, beware.

3. He’s not easily grossed out. Surprise! Kids are messy. There are dirty diapers, vomit — and dirty diapers and vomit happening at the same time. Being a parent means getting comfortable with the eewwww factor. Good fathers are the ones “who jump in to clean up a gross mess and help out when someone else isn’t feeling well.

4. He’s a great uncle. “Nephews and nieces are the stepping stones to your own kids,” says Allen. “Does he call them on their birthdays? Does he make dates where he actually has to show up and take them to the movies or an amusement park?

5. He doesn’t mind taking direction from his partner. “If a man resents being told what to do, then working with him on his children’s schedule and responsibilities could get tense.

6. He likes ketchup. And he understands the importance of blowing the paper cover off of a straw and seeing if it can reach across the table. In other words, he has a playful sense of fun, and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Those could be the most telling sign of all. You’ve got to have a sense of humor to get through life with kids.

Tips Malam Pertama Berjalan Nyaman

2011-06-29T23:55:00.000+07:00

Malam pertama jadi momen yang dinantikan sekaligus mendebarkan. Pada beberapa orang, momen itu juga membuat mereka takut. Berikut ini tips untuk Anda yang akan menjalani malam pertama agar momen tersebut bisa dilalui dengan nyaman dan menyenangkan.

1. Ciptakan suasana yang nyaman. Seperti dikutip dari Newlyweds, buat suasana kamar yang akan digunakan untuk menghabiskan malam pertama, menjadi romantis. Suasana romantis ini berguna agar Anda dan pasangan mood untuk bercinta. Suasana tersebut juga bisa membuat rileks.

2. Pakai busana yang membuat Anda merasa seksi. Memang tidak ada salahnya memakai daster saat tidur. Tapi untuk malam pertama, tentu akan jadi lebih menyenangkan apabila Anda mengenakan lingerie atau busana lain yang membuat Anda merasa seksi.

3. Atasi stres. Merasa stres saat akan menghadapi malam pertama adalah hal yang wajar. Stres ini bisa membuat Miss V Anda kering sehingga saat pasangan melakukan penetrasi, Anda bisa merasakan sakit atau tidak nyaman. Selain stres, masalah hormonal yang biasanya datang menjelan Anda datang bulan juga bisa menyebabkan Miss V kering.

4. Kalau Anda termasuk tipe orang yang suka melihat segala sesuatunya terlihat bersih, Anda sebaiknya menyiapkan handuk sebelum bercinta. Handuk ini bisa jadi alas untuk Anda agar darah yang kemungkinan besar keluar dari Mrs V saat pasangan melakukan penetrasi pertama kalinya, tidak membuat seprai kotor.

5. Komunikasi. Jangan takut untuk mengkomunikasikan perasaan Anda pada pasangan. Katakan apa yang menjadi ketakutan dan keinginan Anda agar momen malam pertama itu dapat dilalui dengan menyenangkan. Merasa nyaman dengan pasangan dan diri sendiri adalah kunci untuk mencapai orgasme saat bercinta.

Short of Cash? Try Payday Laons Online

2011-06-23T14:45:00.002+07:00

Sometimes, it is not our personal matters only that can cause us to spend more money than what we have already planned and budgeted. Family matters, our kids’ health or even our own health can cause the same thing. No matter how well we plan, living in today’s world is full of surprises, and when it comes to money, it means extra money is required, whether from our own pocket or bank account. This kind of cost –the emergency- can be very merciless and dry out our pocket, and this is the time when we need to apply for short-term loans or payday loans.

Today’s lifestyle is about everything goes online; here we can expect to find a payday loans online too, and this is good news! Most of the things that we can find or shop online, we can expect to be simpler, this apply to payday loans as well. The terms and conditions are much simpler than common loans, you are a US citizen, 18 years at least, have certain amount of regular income and an active bank account, that’s it and you can apply payday loans online. Just ensure that you are still working and earn enough money at the repayment date!

The loan we have just mentioned is ideal for those of us who need money quickly. This type of loan is perfectly fit to pay the emergency bills, car repairs and a whole lot more, that’s including an unplanned visit to see your sick mother in law. But payday loans online is not recommended if you just need it to fulfill your impulse shopping or to shop things you do not really need. There are many websites that serve as source of links to lenders, you can ask the search engine, and later simply do a small review and check. When you finally convince yourself about the lender you have selected, then you can start applying.

Why Women Prefer Tall Men

2011-06-21T22:44:00.002+07:00

Tall men attract the ladies because they remind them of our violent ape-like ancestors, according to a new theory. A study shows men hit harder when they stand on two legs than when they kneel down, and when directing punches downwards.

This might explain why early humans began walking upright, and also why women prefer tall men, say US researchers.

"The results of this study are consistent with the hypothesis that our ancestors adopted bipedal posture so that males would be better at beating and killing each other when competing for females," said Professor David Carrier, from the University of Utah.

"Standing up on their hind legs allowed our ancestors to fight with the strength of their forelimbs, making punching much more dangerous.

"It also provides a functional explanation for why women find tall men attractive.

"Early in human evolution, an enhanced capacity to strike downward on an opponent may have given tall males a greater capacity to compete for mates and to defend their resources and offspring. If this were true, females who chose to mate with tall males would have had greater fitness for survival."

The findings are reported in the online journal Public Library of Science ONE.

Posisi Bercinta yang Disukai Wanita

2011-06-21T22:43:00.000+07:00

Untuk melakukan posisi bercinta ini, Anda tidak seperti harus akrobat. Posisi tersebut bisa dilakukan dengan mudah dan memang dapat diaplikasikan dalam kehidupan seks Anda dan pasangan.

Berikut ini posisi-posisi bercinta tersebut, seperti dilansir Self Growth:

1. Misionaris
Posisi bercinta ini memang selalu jadi favorit meskipun terlalu biasa dan sering dilakukan. Saat melakukan posisi ini, wanita bisa merasakan gairah yang luar biasa sekaligus berkreatifitas. Kreatif di sini maksudnya, wanita sebaiknya tidak hanya diam saja saat pria melakukan penetrasi. Anda bisa menyentuh rambut pasangan atau bagian tubuhnya yang lain. Agar lebih maksimal, angkat kedua kaki sampai mengunci pinggang pasangan.

2. C.A.T
C.A.T. merupakan kepanjangan dari Coital Alignment Technique. Minta pasangan mengangkat tubuhnya sedikit lebih ke atas sehingga tulang pubisnya menyentuh area klitoris Anda. Secara ilmiah hal ini terbukti meningkatkan kenikmatan. Dalam Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy dikatakan, dengan posisi CAT, kemungkinan wanita meraih orgasmenya meningkat 50%.

"Saat melakukan teknik ini, pasangan tidak menekan Anda terlalu dalam, sehingga dia bisa lebih bergerak berirama. Dengan cara ini klitoris wanita lebih terstimulasi secara konsisten," ujar Sex Therapist Dr. Joy Davidson.

Hanya saja, tidak semua pasangan sukses mendapatkan kepuasan dengan teknik C.A.T. ini. "Terutama untuk mereka yang suka pasangannya menekan dengan dalam. Wanita yang suka dengan tekanan dekat serviksnya juga bisa tidak puas. Lebih baik cara ini dilakukan sebagai bagian dari variasi," tambah penggagas 'The Joy Spot' itu.

3. Berdiri
Untuk bercinta dengan posisi berdiri, diperlukan koordinasi yang baik antara kekuatan dan keseimbangan tubuh. Posisi bercinta ini sebaiknya dilakukan saat Anda dan pasangan melakukan seks spontan dan quickie. Saat melakukannya, Anda bisa berdiri dengan bersandar di tembok atau sisi tempat tidur. Posisi ini memungkinkan pasangan melakukan penetrasi lebih dalam dan membuat Anda mencapai orgasme.

4. Spooning
Spooning termasuk posisi bercinta terbaik untuk menyembunyikan bagian tubuh yang tidak disukai seperti perut atau bagian tubuh depan lainnya. Saat berhubungan seks dengan posisi ini, Anda berbaring membelakangi pasangan dan si dia memeluk Anda dari belakang.

Posisi ini cukup menyenangkan dilakukan karena bukan hanya membuat si dia tidak melihat perut, tapi juga bisa membuat pasangan mudah menstimulasi klitoris Anda. Menurut penelitian, 95% wanita yang mendapat stimulasi klitoris bisa mendapatkan orgasmenya.

5. Women On Top
Women On Top merupakan kebalikan dari posisi misionaris. Menurut pakar seks dan percintaan Michael Webb posisi inilah yang paling bisa membuat wanita mencapai orgasmenya.

Dengan posisi wanita di atas, wanita jadi lebih mudah mengontrol G-spotnya. Para wanita pun tahu gerakan apa yang harus dilakukan untuk mencapai klimaks saat bercinta dengan posisi ini.

Solutions for five common dating ruts

2011-06-17T21:25:00.002+07:00

It happens to the best of us: there you are, going on date after date, but none of them seem to be panning out. Maybe you’re just having a string of bad luck. But then again, sometimes — just sometimes — there’s more out there for you than you’ve noticed.

If you’re in one of them now, you have the power to change your outlook. Then, when someone with potential crosses your path, you’ll recognize it immediately and be ready to pounce!

Problem #1: You aren’t feeling instant sparks
Solution: Forget romance for a second and use the “friend” filter

When we go on a date with someone, we’re usually looking for some hit-us-over-the-head romantic chemistry, and when we don’t feel it, we think the date is a waste of time. But that’s not true! If you have a strong negative reaction to someone you meet, that’s one thing, but a neutral or unsure reaction to a person can turn into chemistry down the line — and those who shut the door right away won’t get to find that out.

Problem #2: Your dates look great on paper… but that’s it
Solution: Pay attention to how you’re feeling vs. your date’s résumé
So this person has a ton of wonderful qualities. That’s fine, for a start. But amazing chemistry isn’t just about finding someone you admire or think would be a great life partner. It’s about how you feel when you’re with that person. For instance, if the date you had last night was friendly and gregarious, but you felt more meek or quiet than usual in his or her shadow, that doesn’t make for strong chemistry.

Problem #3: You don’t think this person has long-term potential
Solution: Try the “Carpe date-’em” trick
We single people are so afraid of “settling” that we can’t help looking ahead to the future in the first few minutes on a date. In the movie Something’s Gotta Give, Jack Nicholson asks Diane Keaton if she wants to go for a walk along the beach. She stammers and wavers until finally he says, “It’s just a walk, not a marriage proposal!” Try to think of your dates the same way.

Problem #4: You swear all the good ones are taken already
Solution: Look again… at people you usually pass over
Thanks to all the adorably hopeful romantic comedy movies they keep making, it’s sometimes hard to shake the thought that someone, somewhere, someday, will sweep you off your feet and move with you to an old chateau in France. But what about your neighbor, who hits the same coffee shop in the morning 30 seconds after you do? Like traffic accidents, love run-ins often happen close to home.

Problem #5: You feel down about yourself and not date-worthy
Solution: Give yourself a pre-date pep rally
After traveling a few miles on the road to nobody special, it’s easy to start blaming yourself. You wind up going out and socializing or turning up on a date with a sad-sack attitude. Nobody wants to date a downer, so it’s time to corral the cheerleaders in your life to remind you why you’re such a catch.

Pria Yang Selalu Jantan dan Prima

2011-06-17T21:24:00.000+07:00

Disfungsi ereksi adalah suatu kondisi yang mana seorang laki-laki mengalami kegagalan dalam memulai atau mempertahankan ereksi sampai batas waktu yang diperlukan oleh kedua pasangan seksual dalam mencapai kepuasan.

Para ahli memberikan rekomendasi untuk mencegah terjadinya disfungsi ereksi, seperti dikutip dari WebMD yaitu:

1. Perhatikan apa yang dimakan
Mengonsumsi makanan yang buruk bagi jantung akan berpengaruh pada kemampuan ereksinya, karena bisa menghambat aliran darah yang diperlukan oleh penis untuk ereksi. Untuk itu hindari makanan berlemak, gorengan dan yang diproses, tapi perbanyak buah, sayur, lemak sehat, kacang-kacangan, ikan dan minyak zaitun.

2. Menjaga berat badan tetap sehat
Kelebihan berat badan bisa berpengaruh terhadap kesehatan termasuk diabetes tipe 2 yang dapat merusak saraf di seluruh tubuh. Jika yang kena adalah saraf yang mempengaruhi penis maka disfungsi ereksi bisa terjadi.

3. Hindari tekanan darah dan kadar kolesterol tinggi
Kadar kolesterol dan tekanan darah yang tinggi bisa merusak pembuluh darah, termasuk pembuluh yang membawa darah ke penis sehingga menyebabkan disfungsi ereksi. Untuk itu kontrollah tekanan darah dan kolesterol secara teratur.

4. Tidak mengonsumsi alkohol secara berlebihan
Peminum alkohol berat bisa menyebabkan kerusakan pada hati, saraf dan kondisi lainnya yang bisa memicu disfungsi ereksi.

5. Olahraga secara teratur
Olahraga seperti berjalan, berenang dan aerobik diketahui bisa meningkatkan status kesehatan seseorang. Tapi hati-hati dengan olahraga yang menempatkan tekanan berlebih pada perineum (daerah antara skrotum dan anus), karena jika tidak menggunakan alat pelindung yang benar bisa menyebabkan disfungsi ereksi.

6. Jangan hanya mengandalkan senam Kegel
Latihan kegel umumnya melibatkan otot-otot di panggul yang bisa membantu laki-laki dan perempuan yang mengalami inkontinensia (sulit menahan pipis), tapi belum ada bukti yang kuat bahwa latihan ini bisa mencegah disfungsi ereksi.

Teknik senam Kegel yang mudah dilakukan caranya adalah kontraksikan otot seperti menahan kencing untuk awalnya selama 5 detik, kemudian kendurkan. Terus ulangi latihan tersebut setidaknya lima kali berturut-turut dengan meningkatkan lama waktu menahan kencing 15-20 detik.

Latihan ini tergolong mudah karena bisa dilakukan kapan saja dan hanya membutuhkan waktu beberapa menit. Latihan bisa dilakukan di kursi kerja, sambil duduk, sambil berjalan, sambil berdiri, atau berbaring.

7. Mengawasi kadar hormon testosteron
Umumnya kadar hormon testosteron mulai menurun setelah berusia 40 tahun dan bisa mempengaruhi tingkat gairah seksual. Untuk itu penting memperhatikan kadar testosteron.

8. Hindari obat steroid anabolik
Obat ini umumnya sering disalahgunakan oleh para atlet dan binaragawan, padahal obat ini diketahui bisa mengecilkan testis dan mengganggu kemampuan kelenjar membuat testosteron.

9. Berhentilah merokok
Merokok bisa membahayakan pembuluh darah dan membatasi alirannya ke penis, sedangkan nikotin yang terkandung di dalamnya bisa membuat pembuluh darah menyempit dan memicu disfungsi ereksi.

10. Jauhi seks berisiko
Beberapa kasus disfungsi ereksi disebabkan oleh cedera pada batang penis saat melakukan hubungan seks. Untuk itu hindari posisi seks yang berisiko dan pastikan vagina sudah dilumasi dengan baik. Jika penis sudah terasa sakit sebaiknya dihentikan.

11. Mengurangi stres
Stres psikologis akan meningkatkan kadar hormon adrenalin yang membuat pembuluh darah menyempit dan bisa berujung pada disfungsi ereksi. Karenanya mengurangi ketegangan dan membuat rasa emosional lebih baik akan memberikannya dorongan seks yang lebih besar.

Why do we need a moving company?

2011-06-15T11:00:00.002+07:00

People are moving from one place to another and this happens each year, it involves a huge number of people. There are new offices, new houses, to new towns, across countries and even new continents. One of the issues when people move from one place to other places is how to get there. Moving to new place and arrange the whole process by ourselves is very hard to do these days, and that’s why we have movers to assist us, they have all the tools and supports required to do this specific task.

Packing is one thing, while transporting what we have already packed is another issue, it needs special arrangement, and not everyone is well equipped to do this. It is a lot of thing to do and it’s also a tiresome job to do all the packing, loading and unloading to the new place. Not only it’s boring but also very tiring and time consuming, it requires special skill and that’s why people are hiring movers to do it. We can avoid unnecessary headache and will most certainly happy with the result if we use mover’s service.

Movers will assist from packing at the old place and then assist unpacking at the new place, we don’t have to stress out, and this is a much healthier solution compare to do it alone. Talking about moving details, first we need to organize the thing that we want to pack. For this one task only, we need special arrangement, of course we can just pack but it will certainly confuse us and become a big mess later when we do the unpack stuff later. We need to manage the thing we are going to pack, place same type of things within a same box and then label it to ease us to unpack later.

We can have as many friends or family members to help this process, but if it is not well coordinated the result will become a big mess. We need to arrange truck and reliable driver, not to mention the load and unload process from the truck, we need to closely supervise especially when we have a lot of fragile items in the box, so the healthier solution is to hire professional mover to take care this special task, we can save our time and energy and focus on other things.

By hiring a moving company, we can make sure the smooth process of moving as they will be responsible for overlooking all of the tasks related to the relocating process. We can count on them because they also have truck to transport all of our things just in one trip. All things about moving, from packing to loading and unloading will be the mover’s responsibility, not to mention they have special insurance to cover the moving process. Using a moving company’s service is really a much simpler and healthier solution; it is a trouble-free and convenient solution.

Why Women Fake Orgasm

2011-06-11T09:55:00.002+07:00

It is news that will undoubtedly be met with great scepticism by the fairer sex. But scientists claim the real reason why women fake orgasms in bed is because they are riddled with insecurities and have a fear of intimacy.

While 60 per cent of women claim to have faked ecstasy during intercourse or oral sex, researchers believe this has little to do with protecting their partner's sensitive feelings.

Instead, according to a study, many girls pretend to climax due to their own fear of intimacy; or because they feel insecure about how their bodies react during intercourse; or simply because they want it to end as soon as possible.

Lead researcher Erin Cooper, of Temple University in Pennsylvania, told LiveScience: 'This is something that we talk about happening in popular culture, in the movies and magazines.

'We know that this is pretty prevalent in our culture, but we don't know much about it from a scientific standpoint. That to me is a real catastrophe.'

She interviewed 366 women aged between 18 to 32, all of whom readily admitted to faking orgasms. The volunteers were asked to explain the reasons why they pretended to orgasm and how they felt about sexual intimacy.

How to get her to commit

2011-05-31T15:29:00.002+07:00

The challenge is to share your feelings in a way that will help you get what you want and won’t make you seem like you’re groveling and/or desperate. Here are some tips to keep in mind.

Bring it up casually
Given that overboard gestures might make a woman uncomfortable, consider doing what most men do best anyway: asking in a more laid-back manner. Make sure the venue in which you’re asking is mellow as well — no fancy dinners, no propositions in front of family, and so on. Remember: You want to be in the kind of circumstances where her saying “no” won’t leave you feeling like a dolt for an extended period of time. “I think while you’re walking her home or driving her home is good,” says Eric. “That way you’re not stuck at some restaurant with this giant rejection hanging over you if she says no.”

Never just assume you’re exclusive
This should seem obvious, but guys can still be presumptuous and make all kinds of embarrassing mistakes. “I was seeing this girl and I changed my Facebook profile to say ‘In a Relationship,’” admits PJ. “And she was like, ‘Who are you in a relationship with?’ I was like, ‘You!’ I could tell she wasn’t exactly happy about it.”

Make sure there’s a good chance she’ll say yes
The conventional wisdom is that women are always ready to have a boyfriend. And maybe that was true during the Eisenhower administration. But in the present day of Facebook and the near limitless possibilities of online dating, it is just as likely a woman wants to have what is euphemistically known as “having fun.” “Be really careful if she’s just finished a long-term relationship,” says James, a chef. “Or if she doesn’t return your phone calls right away. If your calls are going right to voicemail, and she doesn’t call you back for like eight hours, she doesn’t want you to be her boyfriend.”

Don’t go overboard
The guiding principle in asking a girl to be your girlfriend is to not appear desperate: No matter how good your intentions, you may never recover from it. “My boyfriend bought me a necklace and literally got on his knees and asked me to be his girlfriend,” says Shelia, a web designer. “I said ‘yes,’ but it was a little much.” Even less dramatic overtures can still feel over the top.

“I was at dinner with this girl, and I took her hand and said ‘You know I’m not seeing anyone else,’” says Zach, a lawyer. “I thought we’d have this romantic moment, but she just looked at me like I was crazy.”

Conclusion: You have to get her to say “yes” to the idea of dating exclusively before you are in fact dating exclusively.

Anda Tidak Ingin Menikah Dengan Pria yang Salah

2011-05-31T15:26:00.000+07:00

Penulis di Inggris yang gagal dengan pernikahan pertamanya, Claire Lindsey, mengatakan, "Jika saja saya bisa memberikan nasihat kepada calon pengantin perempuan atau laki-laki, yang berpikir bahwa mereka merasa melakukan kesalahan dengan menikah, dengarkanlah tanda-tanda ini. Jangan pernah mengabaikan tanda peringatan seperti ini," katanya kepada Daily Mail.

Untuk mengenali apakah Anda menikahi pria yang salah, berikut tandanya:

1. Anda tidak tertarik dengannya
Ketertarikan fisik penting. Jika Anda tak berhasrat melepaskan bajunya, tandanya Anda tak menginginkannya.

2. Anda lebih superior darinya
Kalau pekerjaan Anda atau level pendidikan Anda lebih tinggi dari pasangan, ini bukan jadi masalah besar. Namun, ketika Anda merasa malu atas diri pasangan, dan Anda merasa tak nyaman karenanya, jangan pernah menikahinya.

3. Si dia bikin Anda tak nyaman
Sikap pasangan yang membuat Anda merasa tak nyaman adalah salah satu petanda. Ketika si dia membuat Anda merasa tidak menarik dibandingkan dengan perempuan lain di sekitar Anda, pikirkan lagi untuk menikahinya.

4. Nilai dan persepsi bertolak belakang
Bagaimana nilai yang dianut dan persepsi pasangan tentang berbagai hal memengaruhi hubungan. Jika si dia menjunjung nilai bahwa Anda, sebagai perempuan, tak harus berpendidikan tinggi, tak boleh beraktivitas luar ruang, coba pikirkan lagi. Apakah Anda bisa bertahan dalam hubungan pernikahan dengan pasangan yang memiliki nilai seperti ini.

5. Si dia terlalu berkuasa
Jika pasangan termasuk tipe pengontrol, pikirkan lagi apakah Anda mau benar-benar menikahinya. Anda tentu tak nyaman ketika semua kegiatan Anda harus atas seizinnya. Atau Anda wajib mengikuti perintahnya untuk menjalankan apa pun aktivitas dan rutinitas sehari-hari.

6. Tak mau berkomunikasi
Komunikasi merupakan kunci keberhasilan hubungan pernikahan. Coba kenali, jika saat ini pasangan Anda tak terbiasa berbicara, berbagi cerita, berkomunikasi, mungkin suatu saat ia akan berubah. Namun, jika Anda melihat si dia tak mau berubah dan enggan berkomunikasi dengan Anda, sebaiknya pikir ulang rencana pernikahan. Menikahlah dengan pria yang suka berkomunikasi, maka Anda takkan pernah menyesal.

7. Tak mampu bersikap humoris
Saat pasangan bisa menjalani masa susah dan senang bersama, hubungan pernikahan akan berjalan lancar, termasuk ketika pasangan menikah bisa sama-sama tertawa meski sedang susah. Kebersamaan inilah yang dibutuhkan pasangan menikah agar langgeng. Jika pasangan Anda terlalu serius dan tak bisa mencairkan suasana, pikirkan kembali mengenai rencana pernikahan.

8. Si dia berbohong
Kebiasaan berbohong menjadi petanda bahwa si dia bukan pasangan yang tepat untuk Anda. Pasangan yang berbohong menjadi salah satu petanda bahwa ia bukan pria yang tepat untuk dinikahi.

9. Keluarga Anda tak menyukai
Hubungan Anda dan si dia memang personal. Namun, penilaian keluarga atau orang terdekat juga penting. Jika orangtua Anda atau orang lain melihat ada yang salah dengan pasangan Anda, cobalah pertimbangkan kembali. Boleh jadi penilaian orang lain lebih obyektif.

Bad relationship habits to dump

2011-05-21T13:30:00.002+07:00

Marty Friedman, author of Straight Talk for Men About Marriage, talks about how to recognize — and get rid of — these bad habits so your love life can prosper.

Bad Habit #1: Never ending your arguments. One of the dubious perks of being married, Friedman says, is being able to “stomp out of the room, cool yourself down, and bring up the issue again a few days or weeks later — or let it fester forever.” W

Bad Habit #2: Letting yourself go. When two people are married for a long time, they stop trying to impress each other. “It’s easy to say, ‘I just want someone who likes me for who I am,’ but truthfully, the way humans operate is to feel more comfortable with and attracted to someone who cares enough about appearance to look presentable.”

Bad Habit #3: Under-communicating your needs. Most married couples have the ability to read each other’s minds but still you need to state your needs and feelings out loud, in a responsible way. Friedman says. “The good news is, by speaking up you can help shape how your new partner treats you.”

Bad Habit #4: Sniping instead of talking. Instead of criticizing your partner, you should make an effort to “request what you need in a specific, caring way. For example: instead of shouting ‘You’re always late for everything,’ you can say gently, ‘This Saturday night, it would really mean a lot to me if you showed up on time or even a few minutes early.’”

Bad Habit #5: Not saying “thank you.” You should start your new relationship on a solid foundation of gratitude and appreciation, right from the beginning,” Friedman says. “Be thankful for the little things... even the fact that this person is spending the evening with you.” And while you’re at it, go head — say it out loud.

Most Common Reasons that Keep You from Settling Down

2011-05-09T20:47:00.003+07:00

For many of us, falling in love — and deciding that yes, this time it’s meant to last forever — is not as easy as it seems. So, what keeps so many seemingly smart men and women from deciding that the person they’re with is The One?

1. Your list of “must-haves” for a romantic partner is unattainable
One of the biggest sticking points for people, says counseling psychologist Dr. Linda Young, is having a long list of characteristics that are considered essential for both a partner and the relationship. This lengthy list of essentials can be self-defeating, since it’s unlikely you’ll meet anyone who meets every requirement on that list.

2. You’re unwilling to compromise in relationships
Many of us don’t focus hard enough (or long enough) on what makes a relationship truly satisfying and sustainable over a lifetime. Being more forgiving of a partner’s faults or more flexible about another person’s annoying habits may be difficult, but the ability to compromise matters. Instead, many of us are looking to wherever the grass appears to be greener.

3. You’re afraid of intimacy
The other challenge for many may be in letting another person in. After spending much of our 20s and early 30s building a career, honoring the idea that it’s important to be successful and dating with the knowledge that most relationships will end, we build up a defense mechanism. When we finally decide we do want to settle down, we have to take down the walls we’ve built up. “One of the ways we protect ourselves is to learn how to not go all in, and then when you want to get married you have to figure out how to go all in,” says Young.

4. You pick partners that share your interests, but not your values and goals
Young admits she’s fascinated by online dating profiles, where many people list “important traits” that are actually things they themselves prefer to do: “Must like hiking. Must enjoy ska music. Must love long walks on the beach at sunset.” Young points out that “those things are not very important when it comes down to a long-term, satisfying relationship. The really important stuff is how your basic character traits and personality features complement each other, and where you are similar on the things that matter most to you. You really need to know what your values are before you can know if someone else shares them.”

5. You believe there’s only one soul mate out there waiting for you
“I think some people still have this fantasy notion that there’s going to be just one Mr. or Ms. Right. So when they have someone they’ve been with who displays many of these characteristics and they get along just fine together, these daters still think, ‘well, it doesn’t feel magical, like having a soul mate is supposed to feel’,” says Young. “It’s not always going to feel that way.”

Tips Untuk Si Pemalu dalam Percintaan

2011-05-09T20:42:00.003+07:00

Jika Anda termasuk wanita pemalu, ada beberapa kiat yang bisa dilakukan untuk menjadikan Anda lebih percaya diri.

Berdiri Tegak
Tarik otot perut ke dalam saat Anda berdiri, sehingga dada terlihat membusung dan punggung tegak. Sikap tubuh seperti ini akan membuat Anda terlihat percaya diri. Sering-seringlah berlatih di depan kaca sampai posisi berdiri Anda tampak natural.

Jangan Menyilangkan Tangan
Cara berpose memperlihatkan kepribadian seseorang. Menyilangkan tangan saat duduk atau berbicara menandakan Anda orang yang defensif dan pemalu. Biasakanlah untuk menghindari sikap ini untuk meningkatkan kepcercayaan diri.

Lakukan Kontak Mata
Saat bertemu orang, pandang lurus ke lawan bicara dan fokuskan pada mata dan wajahnya. Tapi jangan terkesan bahwa Anda sedang membelalakkan mata. Tatap dengan mata yang ramah dan bersahabat.

Buatlah Gerakan Pertama
Berdirilah di dekat orang yang ingin Anda ajak bicara untuk memulai percakapan. Tatap matanya dan beri sedikit senyum. Jika dia membalas senyuman dan langsung menatap Anda, itu tandanya dia tidak keberatan diajak bicara.

Beri Pujian
Jika tak punya ide memulai obrolan, sebuah pujian mungkin bisa jadi solusinya. Namun jangan memuji terlalu berlebihan, beri pujian secara jujur berdasarkan apa yang ada di benak Anda.

What Internet Sex Study Reveals

2011-05-03T00:29:00.002+07:00

Scientists have finally got a grip on our deepest sexual desires - by looking at what people type into online search. They have examined one billion online sex-related searches from around the world to find out what users click on when no one else is looking.

The findings have been published in a book called A Billion Wicked Thoughts, co-authored by Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam. The pair hope it will prove there is no such thing as sexual deviance as almost nothing is seen as out of bounds.

The survey is so vast it is viewed by many experts as the most complete analysis of human sexual desires. Among the findings are the fact straight men prefer heavier women to thinner ones and find feet erotic.

They also enjoy a wide variety of erotic images, including bizarrely both elderly women and transsexuals. Meanwhile straight women enjoy reading about and watching romances between two men, but only when the focus is on emotion and not sex.

Gay men and straight men were found to have the same favourite body parts, which in order are chests, buttocks then feet. Surprisingly, search engine results from Dogpile, which provided the search data from Google, Yahoo! and Bing, said almost 80 per cent of internet searches were made up of 20 interests, ranging from youth, to cheerleaders.

Online Game and Relationship

2011-05-02T23:55:00.002+07:00

These days, there are so many online games available in the internet and they're easy to download and play. Couples love to spend their time together playing online games, they are almost weather proof, no queuing, no traffic jam, most of them are free and couples can even make extra money from playing online games. These days, we can find huge selections of online games, free slots is one of the popular games that people love to play. Whatever the game you pick, make sure you are enjoying it while playing.

When you and your loved one feel bored with your routine works, besides reading, one type of hobbies then online game is one choice which many times becoming a great companion for those who are in above condition. Love birds can play from strategic games to online casinos, from mind exercising games to educational games. With so many bonus rating website available these days, it won’t be difficult to find no deposit bonus codes casino, this one is for couples who love to play this type of game. There is always a rating website for each type of online game in the internet.

Online game is easy to enjoy, what you need is simply a computer, internet connection, and then you can start playing. If you need to buy a game or pay some fee, you can use paypal or credit card. Those who play casinos, paypal casinos are other options for payment. Online games fit couples who have a busy lifestyle, those who have not much time for doing pleasure activities together. Couples, who love to do their activities together, have been proven to have a more stable relationship. It is never too late to start anything that can make your relationship last longer, so anytime you both are available, play some online games that excite you both.

Duchess Of Cambridge Stuns In Another Burton Gown

2011-04-30T18:59:00.001+07:00

Royal newlywed Catherine, Duchess Of Cambridge made another dramatic fashion statement when she stepped out in a second Sarah Burton-designed gown for her reception in London on Friday night (29Apr11).

The former Kate Middleton wowed wedding onlookers and more than two billion TV viewers around the globe when she arrived for her wedding at Westminster Abbey in a stunning silk and lace dress designed by the Alexander MCQueen fashion house creative director - and she had a simpler version prepared for the after-ceremony party.

The Duchess left her new father-in-law Prince Charles' home in London after a break from the proceedings to attend the royal party at Buckingham Palace in the white satin strapless evening gown.

Prince William and his bride will spend their first night as man and wife at the palace before flying off on honeymoon.

Falling in love again with your other half!

2011-04-19T14:15:00.005+07:00

There are many activities couples can do together to improve their relationship! From a very simple activity such as a good afternoon tea time, playing texas holdem to heavy ones such as rock climbing or sailing over seven seas! Spending good time with your other half is one crucial thing, every couple needs this moment. By spending time together you don’t take your other half for granted, no one is happy when you stop appreciating them. This is the quickest way to a happy and strong relationship, this is what couples need to live their love journeys!

When you and your loved one are constantly busy, suffer from lack of rest and unending stress, only seeing him or her when you wake up and before bed time, spending good quality time together is the fastest and the most effective way to get your relationship back, to get all the good time you two used to have, to get all the wild attraction you both used to feel when you first got married or dating. The problem people are facing these days when it comes to get your relationship back is people are too busy to look for complicated innovation to capture the feel!

Having good time isn’t complicated at all, it doesn’t require particular conditions, or special atmosphere, or privacy. Waiting for this "ideal moment" will almost takes forever! Expecting “ideal moment” will only lead couples to more cause for disappointment and stress. What couples need is to use any opportunity they get, just sit together, open a link and play few games together, if you both are excited, have good laugh together then it is a good moment. Without you both realizing it, this small and unplanned activity is actually helping you to fall in love again with your other half!

Best Icebreakers Tips

2011-04-09T16:40:00.004+07:00

You know "the moment" when you spot someone across a crowded room, bus, or produce section. You’d love to meet — but what the heck can you say to a complete stranger that won’t come off as dorky or desperate? Try one of these real-world icebreakers that singles swear by. Why? Because these lines earned them plenty of dates!

Flirt with a fly-by
“My best icebreaking technique is what I call the ‘fly-by.’ It’s where you make witty comments of a relevant nature as you walk by the person who interests you. For example.

Try the direct approach
“I have approached people in grocery stores, on the street, pretty much anywhere, and the best conversation starter I’ve found is just to say what I’m thinking. I’ll say something like, ‘Hi. My name is Josh, and I just wanted to let you know I find you incredibly attractive.’

Take a survey
“Sometimes I pretend I’m doing a survey for research purposes. People just assume it’s for a school or work project. My best ‘survey’ approach is to ask guys to tell me what they think the ratio in this particular spot is of those who are out to actually meet someone to date versus those who are just out to have a good time with their friends. It allows you to go up to anyone and just start talking…both men and women!

Play some games
“My friends and I like to play the typical old-school games while we’re out — pool, darts, foosball, etc. — and you can use these games as an excuse to talk to whatever cutie you’ve been eyeing. For example, I walk up to a person I find attractive and say something like, ‘Hey, my friends and I are playing doubles at the pool table, but my partner left.

Lay on the flattery
“One of the best ways to meet men is to pay them a compliment. Not just by saying ‘nice tie’ or whatever, but something really flattering. For example, one time on the way to the ladies room at a restaurant where I was having dinner alone, I noticed a very well-dressed man. On the way back I stopped at his table and said, ‘You are simply the best-dressed man I have seen in a very long time’

Ask a question
“If I’m going to try to chat someone up, I make sure that my opening line invites a conversation. So if I see a woman picking up some curry sauce at Trader Joe’s, I’ll say, ‘Excuse me, I’ve always seen that sauce and wondered about it. How can you use it? Is it very spicy?’

A little humor and humility can’t hurt
“I like to use what I call the ‘no-line’ pick-up line. I mosey over and say something innocent, like: ‘Excuse me for interrupting; I can see you’re busy reading (studying, working, whatever). You caught my attention, so I thought I would risk public humiliation by introducing myself.’

Kondom Bisa Mempertahankan Ereksi Lebih Lama

2011-04-09T16:36:00.002+07:00

Banyak yang bilang berhubungan seks dengan kondom membuatnya menjadi tidak nyaman. Padahal menggunakan kondom bisa membuat pasangan menjadi rileks dan mempertahankan ereksi lebih lama.

Kondom selama ini lebih dikenal sebagai salah satu alat yang bisa digunakan untuk mencegah penyakit infeksi menular seksual seperti herpes, HIV dan juga HPV, serta sebagai alat kontrasepsi untuk mencegah kehamilan yang tidak diinginkan.

"Tapi kondom juga bisa membantu seorang laki-laki mempertahankan ereksinya lebih lama," ujar Leslie M. Kantor selaku direktur Planned Parenthood Federation of America, seperti dikutip dari ABCNews.

Kantor mengungkapkan bahwa laki-laki yang menggunakan kondom akan membuat pasangannya merasa lebih rileks dan santai sehingga bisa mencapai orgasme. Hal ini karena mereka tahu dengan menggunakan kondom bisa mengurangi risiko kehamilan atau tertular penyakit infeksi menular seksual, dengan begitu rasa khawatir dan juga cemas akan berkurang.

Dating Lines — Decoded!

2011-04-04T19:31:00.003+07:00

It’s no secret that the language of love isn’t always the most, well, direct. That’s why so many single people spend hours analyzing emails from dates trying to figure out if “I’m busy at work” is a brush-off, or wondering whether that invitation of “I’ll make dinner for you” indicates a desire to share a whole lot more than a favorite garlic chicken recipe. How can you suss out what someone’s really trying to say? To help you out, we got a bevy of dating experts to decode eight common lines so you’ll spend less time scratching your head and more time communicating.

Line #1: “I’d love to stay out, but I have to get up really early tomorrow.”
What it means: “Sorry, you just aren’t floating my boat.”
Of course, if it’s 2 a.m. or your date follows up with, “But let’s get together soon — maybe this weekend?” the fact that he or she want to end the date is no big deal. But if the night is young or your date mentions an aversion to staying out late in the middle of, say, appetizers, that’s not a good sign.

Line #2: “I had such a good time with you.”
What it means: “Wow, you’re actually fun and different from all the other guys/girls!”
This sentence might sound generic, but try saying it out loud. It sounds far more intense than a mere “I had a nice night,” doesn’t it?

Line #3: “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
What it means: “I’m just not in love with you.”
This means ‘I don’t love you, so if that’s what you want, we should break up. Don’t be fooled — when this person does meet someone who has that spark, he or she will indeed be ready for a relationship.

Line #4: “I’d love to meet up, but I’m just really busy with work right now.”
What it means: “I’m trying to think of a really nice way to blow you off.”
Of course, this person could very well have a full schedule that week. But if he or she doesn’t offer any alternative dates to hang out, what you’re really being told is that this person would rather work than hang out with you.

Line #5: “So, gotten any funny emails on Match.com lately?”
What it means: “Are you interested in seeing each other exclusively?”
Let’s face it, it’s intimidating to ask: “So, are you seeing anyone else?” And with online dating, there’s a sneakier way to put out feelers: by asking a question that reveals whether someone’s been checking his or her Match.com account for new suitors.

Line #6: “So, want to meet for coffee?”
What it means: “Want to meet for a coffee and then have dinner if we like each other?”
It’s always smart to schedule a short, easy-to-end date when you’re first meeting a new person. Committing to dinner with someone new can seem like too much for a person who doesn’t want to get stuck at a table for hours if things aren’t clicking.

Line #7: “I’m meeting my friends — want to come?”
What it means: “I really like you and want to know if you get along with my pals.”
It may sound like a casual invite, but what your date is saying is that he or she is totally comfortable being seen with you as a couple — and is interested in how you’ll relate to his or her closest comrades. Meeting the friends is an approval thing.

Line #8: “Why don’t you come over and I’ll cook for you?”
What it means: “Ready to see whether you want to take things to the next level?”
Cooking for a person is a show of intimacy in a couple of ways. The person is really inviting you into his or her life.

Survey: Beda Fantasi pada Laki-laki dan Perempuan saat masturbasi

2011-04-04T19:28:00.003+07:00

Perbedaan fantasi yang dibayangkan laki-laki dan perempuan saat melakukan masturbasi. Meski ada kesamaan pada jenis fantasi yang paling populer dan yang paling jarang dibayangkan, namun persentase masing-masing fantasi berbeda pada kedua jenis kelamin.

Perbedaan itu terungkap dalam sebuah riset yang dilakukan oleh 2 ilmuwan Amerika Serikat, William H Masters dan Virginia E Johnson:

Fantasi Pria

Fantasi yang paling banyak dibayangkan laki-laki saat melakukan masturbasi adalah sebagai berikut:

1. Fantasi erotik dengan sembarang perempuan (86 persen)
2. Fantasi hubungan intim dengan sembarang perempuan (71 persen)
3. Membayangkan adegan erotik dengan orang yang berbeda-beda (49 persen)
4. Mengingat-ingat adegan-adegan seksual dalam film erotik (28 persen)
5. Mengingat-ingat gambar-gambar erotik dalam buku atau majalah (50 persen)
6. Mengingat-ingat teman perempuan atau rekan kerja yang seksi (25 persen).

Fantasi Wanita

Fantasi yang paling banyak dibayangkan perempuan saat melakukan masturbasi:

1. Fantasi erotik dengan sembarang laki-laki (63 persen)
2. Fantasi hubungan intim dengan sembarang laki-laki (51 persen)
3. Membayangkan adegan erotik dengan orang yang berbeda-beda (31 persen)
4. Mengingat-ingat adegan-adegan seksual dalam film erotik (20 persen)
5. Mengingat-ingat gambar-gambar erotik dalam buku atau majalah (25 persen)
6. Mengingat-ingat teman atau rekan kerja yang tampan (15 persen).

I guess I’m just supposed to stay single forever

2011-03-26T17:14:00.002+07:00

“I’m better at being single. I guess I’m just supposed to stay single forever.” Just because one failed relationship brought you down doesn’t mean you’re meant to be alone for life.

You’re allowed to be “good” at being single — i.e. you enjoy time alone, you fly through your to-do lists and you can handle being dateless at a wedding. Your single status is only “permanent” if you choose to keep it that way!

Whatever is making you feel bad about yourself is temporary — it’s one person (or maybe it’s a string of them) who can’t make the connection with your fabulous self, not the whole human race.

You’re currently single because you haven’t found a specific person you want to settle down with who loves you completely. That’s the real reason you’re single. But if you want a relationship (because you can be good at that, too!), decide right now that you’re meant to be in one and watch the dating world flock to you and your aura of optimism.

Bercinta Jadi Membosankan?

2011-03-26T17:13:00.000+07:00

Saat merasa kegiatan bercinta menjadi sebuah rutinitas, hal tersebut bisa berbahaya untuk kesehatan hubungan Anda. Untuk menghindari kebosanan, ini dia tiga cara agar seks lebih menyenangkan, seperti yang dikutip dari sheknows.

1. Improvisasi Posisi Bercinta
Jika Anda dan pasangan selalu bercinta dengan gaya misionaris, sekaranglah saatnya untuk mencoba posisi bercinta yang lain. Jangan ragu untuk banyak belajar dari majalah dan buku-buku. Proses mencoba posisi baru dapat memberikan pengalaman baru ke dalam kehidupan sekslual Anda berdua.

2. Jangan Terlalu Banyak Berpikir
Seks seharusnya membuat Anda senang, bersemangat dan lebih intim bersama pasangan. Jangan khawatir mengenai bentuk tubuh atau kemampuan bercinta, karena hal tersebut dapat membuat Anda dan pasangan sulit orgasme. Kuncinya hanya satu, jangan anggap seks terlalu serius. Masukan sedikit rasa humor saat bercinta, maka Anda akan lebih santai.

3. Lakukan 'Sexual Game'
Jika belakangan ini Anda merasa bahwa kegiatan bercinta tak lagi menyenangkan dan seks tampak seperti 'tugas' daripada kesenangan, cobalah untuk melakukan 'sexual game'. Salah satu permaianan seksual yang paling mudah adalah seni peran, Anda dan pasangan diharuskan untuk memerankan suatu tokoh saat bercinta.

Misalnya, Anda menjadi guru dan pasangan menjadi murid nakal. Walau akan sedikit aneh pada awalnya, namun permainan seksual ini akan buat aktifitas bercinta Anda menjadi lebih menyenangkan.

Love is a human right!

2011-03-16T15:05:00.003+07:00

Every human has the rights to love and be loved in return no matter what your condition is! Love is a human right, those who are poor, rich, healthy or sick, everyone needs to love and be loved in return. Love makes us happy, but love makes us sad too, love helps people to cure faster, but the same thing called love can put some people on the opposite direction. Love can cure but also can be a poison too; love is a complex feeling that no word can really explain.

For those who have to live with STD like HIV AIDS, herpes or any other sexually transmitted disease (STD) diseases, you have every right to love and be loved, don’t you ever feel you are less than perfect, unwanted that “nobody is looking for someone like me.” Do not adopt this kind of pervasive way of life to judge yourself, this is just plain wrong. If you have experienced few failed dates, that’s all because they just looking for someone different, so were you, right?

To keep “healthy,” be Positive Singles: You Are Not Alone! if you haven’t find someone who can love and be grateful for who you are, then keep your eyes and heart peel for that person, the time isn’t arrive yet, you two just haven’t met yet! What you need to concern is practicing a healthy way of life, both body and mind. What the internet can offer us these days is far from what you can imagine: you can get all the help you need, join social network that specially designed for those with STD, here you can find friends and even more, your lost soul mate! What you need to think right now is someone out there think you are his or hers!

Phrases to use to help you fight right

2011-03-09T15:54:00.002+07:00

Almost all couples fight; the secret is to fight right. Here are some phrases that will actually help when you both fight.

Here are some phrases that help turn down the heat of anger:

Please try to understand my point of view.
Wait, can I take that back?
You don’t have to solve this—it helps me just to talk to you.
This is important to me. Please listen.
I overreacted, I’m sorry.
I see you’re in a tough position.
I can see my part in this.
I hadn’t thought of it that way before.
I could be wrong.
Let’s agree to disagree on that.
I’m sorry.
I love you.

Signs she’s into you!

2011-03-03T20:52:00.005+07:00

It can be hard to tell sometimes whether a woman is truly interested or just going through the motions. But luckily, there are plenty of ways to tell the difference. Here are few signs:

1. She asks about your family
“When a woman likes a guy, she doesn’t want to get to know just him,” says Jillian Straus, author of Unhooked Generation: The Truth About Why We’re Still Single. “She wants to know about his family and friends — she’s looking for clues about what life with him would be like.”

2. She touches herself up
“If she’s into you, she’ll be concerned with how she looks,” says Alison James, author of the forthcoming Better Off Wed? “Or, if she’s at the table, she’ll be fixing her shirt or brushing her hair back, maybe checking that her bra strap isn’t showing or adjusting her necklace — the kind of stuff you do when you’re worried about your appearance.”

3. She’s attentive
Let’s put it this way: no matter how busy she is, she’s not whipping out her BlackBerry if she’s interested in what you have to say. “If she’s not checking her watch, email or cell phone, it’s just one more sign that she’s paying attention to you,” says James. “When you like a guy, you’re hanging on his every word. When you don’t, you’re distracted easily.”

4. She’s touchy-feely
If you find your date engaging in a little physical contact along with witty banter, chances are you’ve made a very good impression. From tapping your knee to emphasize a point or touching your forearm to get your attention, if a woman’s attracted to you, she won’t hesitate to reach out and let you know.

5. The date lasts longer than you expected
If she’s having a great time and doesn’t want to see you go, she’ll gladly take the waiter’s suggestion and try the chocolate cake, or join you in the cab ride home. And if you’ve agreed to meet for coffee and after a few sips she takes you up on your offer of dinner, that’s a bright green light, my friend.

So now that you know the signs that she’s really enjoying your time together, use them!

Cape Ditanya "Kapan Kawin?" Begini Jawabnya!

2011-03-03T13:20:00.000+07:00

Jika Anda masih lajang, Anda pasti sudah berulangkali mendengar pertanyaan seperti, "Kok belum kawin, sih?" Mungkin si penanya memang tak bermaksud menyinggung perasaan Anda, karena itu memang pertanyaan standar yang akan dilontarkan orang ketika sudah lama tak bertemu. Oleh karena itu, daripada stres berikut jawaban yang bisa Anda berikan:

"Belum ketemu yang seiman. Kalau sudah seiman pun, belum tentu langsung cocok, kan?"
Jawaban ini akan membuat si penanya respek terhadap kondisi Anda. Bahwa, menemukan pasangan yang seiman adalah prinsip Anda, dan ini jauh lebih elegan daripada menikahi siapa saja karena sudah didesak untuk menikah.

“Yah, gimana dong, dulu aku terlalu lama menghabiskan waktu dengan orang yang salah. Sekarang, aku lagi sibuk-sibuknya. Tapi aku tetap mencari, kok!"
Jawaban ini menunjukkan bahwa Anda bersikap realistis dengan kondisi Anda. Anda terlihat percaya diri, namun tetap rendah hati. Setiap orang pernah berbuat kesalahan, dan Anda ingin memperbaikinya. Siapa tahu, akibatnya si penanya akan mengenalkan Anda pada temannya.

“Kalau aku tahu jawabannya, mungkin aku sudah menikah sekarang, dan kamu jadi patah hati!"
Anda bisa mengatakan hal ini jika yang bertanya seorang pria, dan Anda merasa tertarik padanya. Bila ia juga masih lajang, bukan tak mungkin jawaban ini akan membuka peluang baginya untuk menjajaki hubungan dengan Anda.

“Ah, senang juga kok, tetap melajang. Nggak ada yang melarang kalau mau keluar kota, dan nggak perlu kompromi soal apapun."
Anda menunjukkan bahwa menjadi lajang tak selamanya merugikan, atau memalukan. Namun, sampaikan jawaban itu dengan ekspresi yang meyakinkan. Bila tidak, Anda hanya akan dianggap menghibur diri, atau bersikap defensif. Kalau Anda memang masih menikmati kehidupan lajang, kalimat ini menjadi cara yang baik untuk menjawab pertanyaan.

“Aku masih mencari pria/wanita beruntung yang akan mendapatkanku...."
Wow... great answer, great sense of humour! Berikan senyuman Anda yang paling menawan, dan tunjukkan kepribadian Anda yang menyenangkan. Jawaban ini juga membuat si penanya sadar bahwa perempuan tetap harus mencari pria yang baik dan dapat diandalkan, karena Anda pun punya kualitas yang sama. Hanya karena masih lajang, tak berarti Anda desperate.

"Aduh, belum ketemu Mr/Mrs Right, nih! Cariin, dong!"
Nah, ini jawaban yang akan menguntungkan Anda. Bila Anda memang cukup sibuk sehingga tak terlalu sering meluangkan waktu senggang bersama teman-teman, si penanya akan merasa tergerak untuk mengenalkan Anda dengan teman-temannya. Bahkan, Anda mungkin bisa mendapat kenalan lebih dari satu. Asyik, kan?

"Ya, jelas harus pilih-pilih dong! Kalau tiba-tiba dia ternyata perampok bank, gimana?"
Ini juga jawaban yang asyik, karena Anda menanggapi tuduhan "pilih-pilih" tadi dengan humor. Percayalah, sebagai perempuan Anda memang harus memilih pria yang mampu mendampingi Anda seumur hidup. Dan ini tak mungkin dicapai bila Anda tergesa-gesa memutuskan pria yang ingin Anda nikahi. Tentu, pilih-pilih yang dimaksud bukan "pilih yang ganteng, jangkung, kaya, atau terkenal".

Sekali lagi, apapun jawaban yang Anda berikan, Anda harus percaya dengan apa yang Anda katakan. Bila Anda "membaca" bahwa percakapan itu akan berlarut-larut, segeralah mengganti topik pembicaraan. Ini memperlihatkan bahwa Anda tak bisa diatur olehnya. Lagipula, jika si penanya tergolong orang yang usil atau gemar mengurusi orang lain, tak ada gunanya meladeninya.

Couples therapy may not work for you if ....

2011-02-27T23:03:00.004+07:00

Therapy is expensive and can be a waste of time. It can also be the single best thing you ever did for your relationship. When a marriage or a person is in psychological distress, the friend with the best intentions will usually say, “Why don’t you go see a therapist?”

The friend is saying this because they love their friend, and they don’t know what else to say or advise their friend to do.

There are times when a couple should not go to therapy; sometimes therapy may be counterproductive, putting the couple in financial distress and deeper frustration that nothing is going to change. If you are experiencing any of these, therapy may be a greater strain than beneficial:

1. If you are only going to therapy to say you did it. A spouse who already has a new significant other and wants to ease their guilt by saying they went to therapy should save their money. They will need it in court.

2. Couples who are trying to fool the therapist. If you pay therapists to listen to your story, but the story isn’t true, I am not sure who is wasting their time more.
Knowing When To Let Go of a Marriage

3. If you or your partner hates the therapist, it may make you less successful with therapy. Keep shopping until you find one you both are comfortable with and respect.

4. If you go to therapy and engage, but don’t do your assignments, you won’t be successful long term. The assignments are part of the process. It leads to better understanding of yourself and your partner.

5. If you don’t prioritize the therapy and schedule it in to your life, then you will miss appointments. We choose what is valuable by our actions. You are telling your spouse and therapist that this isn’t important. Why continue to waste your money?

Survei: Ini Dia si Pemicu Pertengkaran

2011-02-26T17:11:00.000+07:00

Survei yang melibatkan 3.000 orang dewasa ini diadakan oleh www.betterbathrooms.com. Keluhan yang paling sering muncul di antaranya mengenai kehabisan tisu gulung di toilet, lampu yang tidak dimatikan setelah digunakan, dan kebiasaan tidak menutup toilet. Dapur juga menjadi sumber konflik bagi pasangan yang dipicu oleh masalah kebersihan dapur.

Berikut pemicu adu mulut yang paling sering terjadi pada pasangan:
1. Tempat cuci piring yang jorok.
2. Toilet yang jorok atau bernoda.
3. Salah satu sering menggonta-ganti saluran televisi.
4. Kebiasaan lupa mengganti tisu toilet.
5. Kebiasaan tidak menutup toilet.
6. Kebiasaan tidak mematikan lampu.
7. Kebiasaan meninggalkan piring atau gelas kotor sembarangan.
8. Kebiasaan meninggalkan handuk basah di lantai atau tempat tidur.
9. Kebiasaan menimbun barang.
10. Kebiasaan tidak menyiram toilet.

Menurut survei, pria mengaku terganggu dengan kebiasaan pasangannya seperti ini:
1. Terlalu lama bersolek.
2. Mengeluhkan pekerjaan.
3. Tidak mematikan lampu.
4. Rambut yang bertebaran.
5. Menimbun barang.
6. Tempat sampah yang kepenuhan.
7. Meninggalkan tisu bekas sembarangan.
8. Kebiasaan meninggalkan piring atau gelas kotor sembarangan.
9. Gonta-ganti saluran televisi.
10. Menonton sinetron.

“Nobody is looking for someone like me,” and you are just so wrong!

2011-02-23T23:44:00.002+07:00

“Nobody is looking for someone like me.” This is a “pervasive” way to look at your situation, declaring that your single status is both far-reaching and without exceptions.

But look at what you’re really saying: nobody is looking for someone like you. That is just plain wrong! Take the “specific” point of view instead: for whatever reason, the last few failed dates you had were, indeed, looking for someone different — but so were you!

You want someone who loves and appreciates your unique qualities and one-of-a-kind laugh, right? Then keep your eyes peeled for that person. You two just haven’t met yet.

You’re currently single because you haven’t found a specific person you want to settle down with who loves you completely. That’s the real reason you’re single. But if you want a relationship, decide right now that you’re meant to be in one and watch the dating world flock to you and your aura of optimism.

First Lady Advice on Relationship: Laugh with your partner

2011-02-19T23:13:00.003+07:00

The First Lady of United States of America, Michelle Obama says it's what she and President Barack Obama do, and it seems to be working. Their marriage, although tested throughout the years by his political ambitions” for the Illinois Senate, the U.S. Senate and later president” is going on 19 years.

"I think a lot of laughing," the first lady said recently at a White House luncheon with reporters who asked about the Obamas' union. "I think in our house we don't take ourselves too seriously, and laughter is the best form of unity, I think, in a marriage.

"So we still find ways to have fun together, and a lot of it is private and personal. But we keep each other smiling and that's good," she added.

It also helps that Obama is "very romantic."

"He remembers dates, birthdays," Mrs. Obama said last week on "Live! With Regis and Kelly." "He doesn't forget a thing, even when I think he is. . I'll have a little attitude. I give him a little attitude, but he always comes through."

"Got to keep the romance alive, even in the White House," she said.

When kind of Gift I should give to my special one? if we have dating for a long time

2011-02-15T17:40:00.002+07:00

A funny thing happens on the way to Special day once you’ve been dating for a long time — people tend to take the emphasis off of it and treat it just like any other day. Expert says that it’s important not to take a relationship for granted at this point and not making an effort to do something special is a mistake.

Take the opportunity to celebrate together. It doesn’t have to be a classic candlelit dinner. Maybe it’s going shopping together at your local farmers’ market and putting together a little picnic while watching a DVD of a good movie you two missed. Anything that can make the night about enjoying each others company will be a valuable gesture.

What to pick for a special day? A gift that shows how well you know each others lives can be wonderful. It may not be the most romantic thing, but some silk long underwear for a honey who’s always cold or pre-paid golf lessons for a someone who’s always wanted to learn the game can be a terrific way to reflect how in touch you are with each other.

7 Kesalahan Usai Bercinta

2011-02-15T13:23:00.000+07:00

Kesalahan setelah bercinta yang dilakukan pasangan bisa membuat mood Anda berubah, dari senang menjadi tidak bahagia atau kesal. Kesalahan ini sebenarnya bisa dihindari. Apa saja yang termasuk kesalahan itu?"

Untuk hubungan yang lebih baik dengan pasangan, inilah daftar kesalahan yang harus dihindari seperti yang dikuti dari Times of India.

1. Tertidur
Sebagaian besar pasangan menemukan masalah ini, dimana salah satu pasangannya tertidur setelah bercinta. Tentunya ini harus dihindari, karena dapat membunuh pesona seks itu. Tidur juga dapat diartikan Anda tidak menghargai kinerja Anda dan pasangan, serta tidak membiarkan suasana hati Anda yang penuh gairah yang telah dilalui bersamanya.

2. Pergi ke toilet
Menikmati mandi air hangat bersama-sama dapat menjadi tindakan foreplay yang hebat. Tetapi bila bergegas untuk pergi ke kamar mandi setelah bercinta bukanlah hal yang tepat. Biasanya, mungkin Anda ingin segera merapikan diri setelah penampilan Anda yang berantakan usai bercinta, tetapi bila Anda enggan melakukannya, sebenarnya pasangan Anda tidak akan keberatan. Terkadang Anda lupa, bahwa pasangan masih ingin menikmati waktu kebersamaan. Bergegas pergi ke toilet akan membuat pasangan nyaman dan merasa bahwa ada sesuatu yang salah dengannya. Sehingga mengganggu suasana romantis yang sebelumnya telah dibangun.

3. Mengecek Handphone
Kesalahan umum yang sering dilakukan saat usai bercinta adalah mengecek handphone atau BlackBerry dan menelepon teman Anda. Hal ini dapat membuat pasangan merasa seolah-olah Anda tidak tertarik dengannya dan akan merusak suasana romantisme bercinta.

4. Melanjutkan Bekerja
Jika Anda memiliki pekerjaan yang tertunda, sebaiknya jangan dilanjutkan usai kegiatan bercinta berlangsung. Sebab, Anda hanya akan mengundang masalah baru dalam kehidupan seks Anda. Cobalah untuk melupakannya sejenak. Momen usai bercinta harus dinikmati layaknya Anda masih melakukan hubungan intim.

5. Tidur Berpisah
Anda mungkin memiliki kebiasaan tidur berpisah dengan pasangan, tetapi malam tertentu usai bercinta sebaiknya jangan meninggalkan pasangan Anda di ranjang sendirian. Ini hanya akan membunuh gairah kenikmatan bercinta dan dapat menodai hubungan seksual yang telah dibangun.

6. Membawa Anak Tidur Bersama
Membiarkan orang lain masuk dalam privasi Anda berdua tentu akan merusak kenikmatan seksual yang telah dibangun. Banyak wanita memiliki kecenderungan untuk membawa anak-anaknya tidur bersama di tempat tidur yang sama dan hal tersebut banyak terjadi usai bercinta. Segera hindari atau pasangan Anda akan tidak nyaman dengan semua yang Anda lakukan.

7. Bergegas makan
Makan bersama pasangan bisa menjadi awal yang baik sebelum bercinta, tetapi bila setelah bercinta Anda bergegas untuk makan, ini adalah sebuah kesalahan. Tindakan ini dapat meruntuhkan seluruh semangat dan membuat pasangan merasa bahwa Anda tidak menikmati seks karena lapar. Ia berpikir selama bercinta yang ada dipikiran Anda hanyalah makanan.

Long distance relationship tips: making it works

2011-02-12T01:01:00.002+07:00

You’ll need to look inside yourself and be sure that you’re ready to deal with this level of commitment. If you’ve been tempted to stray while she was still living in town, chances are you’re not ready.

However, if you can’t see yourself with anyone but her, there are a host of factors to consider when embarking upon long-distance relationships.

Agree on an end
There has to be an agreed upon goal to look forward to when you first embark upon long-distance relationships. Otherwise, you may end up stringing along the status quo indefinitely, which breeds a particularly robust strain of frustration.

Schedule communication
Make sure your phone bill is ready as well by switching to a new cell phone plan with unlimited long distance or make sure your landline carrier is providing the best rates. f you that will make the physical distance seem minuscule.

During long-distance relationships you'll want to go ahead and physically schedule communication time on your calendar. Your relationship is certainly as important as any other meeting you may have written down.

Schedule visits
A trip to visit your significant other every once in a while shows her that you still care, and that she’s still very important to you no matter how far away your loved one is. Don’t just go and visit each other though. Instead, try to create something uniquely you.

Raise your trust level
If you were in charge of planning dates and filling free time, someone else is going to be filling that role. It’s not an attack against you, so try not to show too much jealousy. Let her know you still care and love your role in her life, but you can’t be an anchor from hundreds of miles away.

long-distance lovin'
When it comes to long-distance relationships the name of the game is prioritizing what’s important to the both of you. If it’s family or a relationship that you find occupying the top spot, great, but you’ll have to sacrifice your career a little bit. If you are both career-oriented people and can put your relationship on the back burner for a while, then a long-distance relationship may be for you.

Why Do People Have Trouble Committing?

2011-02-07T22:25:00.003+07:00

Many of us don’t focus hard enough (or long enough) on what makes a relationship truly satisfying and sustainable over a lifetime. Being more forgiving of a partner’s faults or more flexible about another person’s annoying habits may be difficult, but the ability to compromise matters. Instead, many of us are looking to wherever the grass appears to be greener.

Love, it seems, has torn a page out of the economics textbook. It’s a classic case of maximizers versus satisfiers. Maximizers are always looking for the newest and best thing available. If, one thinks, I stop looking for the best possible option, if I accept this person’s flaws, I won’t have the best partner I could possibly have.

Those are the people who might have trouble committing to anything, says Young, “whether it’s a house, a stereo or a person, because they are constantly looking for ways to tweak it — to make it better.”

On the other hand, the satisfier is someone who recognizes the things that make something — or someone — great, and doesn’t keep looking for something bigger or better.

Morning Sex for Good Health and Mood

2011-01-31T18:02:00.003+07:00

An American marital therapist, said: ‘Mornings are the perfect time to indulge because you’ll probably be in a rush, and the heart-pounding adrenaline of spontaneous sex will intensify the entire experience.’

'Mornings are the perfect time to indulge in a quickie, because you’ll probably be in a rush, and the heart-pounding adrenaline of spontaneous sex will intensify the entire experience,' she says.

And women worried their partner will not be willing to participate in an early morning session, may find it surprisingly easy to coax their men into a bout of passion.

A study at Queens University in Belfast found that having sex three times a week could actually halve the risk of heart attack or stroke.

A 2009 study found that having sex every day improves sperm quality and could boost the chances of getting pregnant. In tests of men with fertility problems, daily ejaculation for a week cut the amount of DNA damage seen in sperm samples.

Ejakulasi yang Mematikan

2011-01-31T13:26:00.000+07:00

Beberapa pria diketahui langsung tewas setelah mengalami ejakulasi. Apa penyebabnya? Kematian mendadak (sudden death) dipicu oleh banyak sebab, salah satunya adalah peningkatan tekanan darah yang tidak bisa ditoleransi jantung. Orgasme seksual bisa memacu denyut nadi yang membuat tekanan darah naik dan meningkatkan risiko serangan jantung.

Sejarah mencatat beberapa tokoh besar yang tewas ketika bercinta, misalnya raja terakhir Bangsa Hun di Eropa. Raja yang disegani oleh bangsa-bangsa lain pada masa itu tewas pada abad ke-5 bukan karena berperang melainkan justru saat bercinta dengan permaisurinya.

Kematian mendadak saat menikmati orgasme seksual juga bisa disebabkan karena sesak napas. Kematian aktor laga David Carradine di Thailand pada tahun 2009 juga disebabkan oleh sesak napas karena tercekik ketika sedang menikmati masturbasi.

Diyakini David mengalami autoerotic asphyxiation, yakni penyimpangan seksual yang membuatnya hanya bisa menikmati orgasme jika aliran darah ke otak dihambat. Caranya seperti yang ia lakukan di saat-saat terakhir, yakni melilitkan dasi di leher sehingga tidak bisa bernapas.

What should I ask before dating a divorced person

2011-01-29T02:20:00.003+07:00

Dating someone who’s recently divorced could be uncharted territory. Here are 3 questions to ask before you start dating:

1. How long has this person been separated, divorced, or living apart from his or her former spouse?

There’s no set formula to determine how long it takes to heal a broken heart, but be wary if the person you’re interested in has jumped right back into the dating pool. Breakups can be emotionally volatile, often irrational, and are certainly unpredictable. The person may truly believe that his or her past relationship is over, but strange things happen when newly single people start to date again.

The best way to know if it’s right is to take things slowly — for everyone’s sake.

2. Is this person currently working on any emotional issues from his or her past relationship, or have they already been resolved?

Talking about a former relationship is healthy — as long as it’s not an obsession. It’s important to your sense of happiness and stability that you not become someone’s therapist in this dating situation. But that doesn’t mean you can’t bring it up, either. Ask questions is also other suggestion If there are signs that’s he’s or her's not over it.

These aren’t exactly conversations that are appropriate topics for a first date, but if you are moving into a serious relationship, they are important to have at some point when you’re both comfortable with it.

3. How does this person relate to his or her former spouse?

Being cordial with the ex isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if both parties have been separated for some time and/or have children together. Is he or she civil and appropriate when talking about or interacting with the ex? If so, this is a good sign.

Crucial characteristics You both need for a lasting love

2011-01-25T22:09:00.002+07:00

Too often love is blind, before you two saying yes to a deeper commitment,dating experts suggest seven match areas to consider:

1. Physical appearance
While physical appearance and attraction draw two people together at first, these aspects will affect the rest of their lives. If working out and staying fit is important to you, will it bum you out if your mate doesn’t share your quest for rock-hard abs?

2. Emotional maturity
Is this person emotionally mature and centered or still lugging around some trunk-sized baggage? How does your sweetheart relate to family and friends? Is he or she emotionally supportive or have control issues? Is your mate aware of his or her own issues and interested in addressing them?

3. Lifestyle choices
This includes career and social lives, common interests, leisure time activities and energy levels. Would she rather join the bowling league or the metropolitan symphony? Does he have lots of energy for activities with friends while she’d rather rest and chill out at home?

4. Financial compatibility
This is a hot bed for most couples. It includes income levels, savings goals and views on handling money. How do you each want to spend, save and invest? Is one person a spender while the other saves? Is one person financially responsible while the other plays catch-up with child support and bills?

5. Value structure
This area is often overlooked but has a tremendous impact on your life. It includes the big values: honesty, integrity, loyalty, views on family and children, religion and spirituality, life goals and the treatment and care for others. Does your mate follow through on promises made? Would you say this person is trustworthy? Will you always be there for each other in a pinch?

6. Marriage and intimacy
Everyone does not share the same idea of marriage. The big questions to address are: What do you and your mate expect from marriage? Is he or she looking for a soul mate? Do you both want close intimacy beyond the physical aspect, including with your friendships and in private communications with each other?

7. Intelligence
Having similar education levels increases your chances of sharing matching school and social experiences, intellectual interests and career goals. What topics do you and your honey like to talk about? Conversation limited to sports or shopping may get boring to someone who likes to ponder philosophy and bluster about business.

While you don’t have to match exactly in each area, look at the big picture and make sure you match closely enough in the important areas of your life to up your chances of finding a love that will go the distance.

Asap Rokok Bikin Bayi Lahir Prematur

2011-01-23T13:24:00.000+07:00

Riset UK Center for Tobacco Control Studies di University of Nottingham menyimpulkan bahwa ibu hamil yang terkena paparan asap rokok dari orang lain (perokok pasif) memiliki risiko bayinya lahir prematur atau terlahir dengan masalah kesehatan.

Anak yang terlahir dari wanita yang merokok selama kehamilan memiliki peningkatan risiko bayi terlahir dalam keadaan tidak bernyawa, berat badan lahir kurang, dan masalah kesehatan lainnya.

University of Nottingham di Inggris menganalisa 19 studi yang menganalisa hubungan antara wanita hamil nonperokok tetapi sering terkena paparan asap rokok selama kehamilan. Datanya menunjukkan peningkatan risiko bayi lahir dalam keadaan tak bernyawa sebanyak 23 persen dan 13 persen peningkatan masalah pada kelahiran bayi.

Analisa yang muncul pada jurnal Pediatrics edisi April 2011 ini tak menemukan hubungan antara perokok pasif dengan keguguran sebelum usia kandungan mencapai 20 minggu aau kematian bayi dekat dengan waktu kelahiran.

Tips to Talk So Your Husband Listens You

2011-01-19T16:30:00.001+07:00

Here are five things Women do to make sure you are heard by your husband. These strategies keep you from getting angry and feeling unimportant. It's also allowed you to bury your resentment and move forward with a rich and rewarding life that adds to your marriage:

1. 30 minute No Talking Rule: Give him thirty minutes to unwind before engaging him in conversation. It's not that big of a deal. He gets a chance to change out of work clothes and suddenly he's ready to talk.

2. Kids in Bed: Get the kids on a bedtime schedule. Some kids are upstairs by 7 or they don't get their cherished book read. This might sound harsh, but it actually gives you far more patience toward the end of the day when they start to melt down. Most importantly, it keeps you from melting down the moment your husband enters the door because you know there's an end in site.

3. Electronics Off: Turn off the computer/TV/whatever your fetish of fancy is by a certain time every night. Set a time. It gives you a chance to chat in the living room before making the trek upstairs. Usually you both can catch up on work, friends, kids and basic day-to-day of life.

4. Date Night: This is a cliché item, but so important. It gives you both a chance to talk about your dreams, not just who takes out the trash, who pays what bill, and what exactly got stuck in our son's ear last Tuesday.

5. Lower Your Expectations: The person that wife most want validation from is her husband. Unfortunately, with alternating schedules and very different job descriptions, this isn't always going to happen.

Don't Ask, Just Read His Signals!

2011-01-15T23:40:00.003+07:00

Forget about asking your boyfriend how he feels about your future together because this kind of act just freaks guys out! Instead, learn to read the signals.

1. He wants to spend the holidays with you — wherever that takes him.
If he's willing to forgo his childhood traditions and chill at your parents' place — or skip family time altogether and take a trip with you — that means he's been thinking about creating new traditions and memories with you.

2. He invites you to his best friend's wedding — without being pushed.
Watching a close buddy walk down the aisle is a momentous occasion. And he wouldn't want to share that with just any girl, especially since there are bound to be plenty of "So, are you two next?" comments. If your man invited you (and he seems psyched to have you there), chances are he foresees the possibility of you two walking down the aisle in the future.

3. He drops the phrase "our kids".
Not to man-bash, but most guys have a hard time even thinking about starting a family until they meet the right girl. Saying something as seemingly minor as, "We wouldn't let our kids be that rude" means he's not only imagining it, he's expecting it to happen. And the thought doesn't send him running off to his man cave.

4. He's cried in front of you.
Whether he’s shed tears while watching The Notebook or because his dog died, he feels like he can be vulnerable around you. Taking off his macho nothing-can-hurt-me armor shows that he’s not afraid of being himself. If he doesn't try to hide it or act embarrassed, that could mean he’s envisioning going through a lot of ups and downs with you by his side. And he wants to be sure you’re cool with seeing his not-so-manly moments.

5. He's suddenly very responsible about finances.
Men tend to feel like they should be in a good place, money-wise before settling down with a woman. So if he seems more concerned with getting that promotion, contributing to his savings account, and opening a 401k, that's the good signals!

How to Get Over Your Ex

2011-01-11T10:59:00.002+07:00

Do you ever find yourself checking your ex's Facebook page, or asking mutual friends what's new in your ex's life? You know-the indirect stalking strategy?

Letting go is one of the toughest elements of a breakup. No one likes saying "goodbye," or coming to grips with the fact that they have to move on, or that something didn't succeed.

Here are the reasons (and solutions to those reasons) why it's so hard to let go:

There Is Always Something There To Remind You

Once a person is gone, all you have left are pieces of their memory. This can range from a strand of hair to a ticket stub from a special date, to a song. If you're especially sentimental (weak-minded) like me, you've probably saved many reminders.

Solution: I know it's hard to throw stuff away, but, you can always stow away for later, when you're able to look back fondly at things without all those negative emotions. Put it all in a box under the bed. Go cold turkey on that special song, avoid the cologne or perfume they wore, etc. It's like breaking an unhealthy habit.

There's A Human Network

It's ok to hold on to friendships with an ex's friends and family, but it would behoove you to avoid seeing these friends for a while.

It's all too easy to ask a mutual friend what your ex is up to. I've found myself "hanging out" more with mutual friends after breakups just to check up on my ex. Not healthy.

Solution: Avoid mutual friends, as painful and rude as it seems. And if you see them, you should not ask about your ex-limit conversation subjects to future and present, not the past.

...and an Internet Network

My friend Jess has a terrible habit of continuing to follow her exes on Facebook after a breakup. This does nothing but infuriate her.

She'll inform me that her ex is "happier than he's ever been," or seeing an annoying girl she knows.

Solution: De-friend them on Facebook so you can't see what they are up to. Even if you think you can avoid looking, the temptation will be there. Be diligent about cutting off contact across the internet.

It's So Easy To Jump In So Fast

How many times have you had to end a relationship because you couldn't stop thinking about your ex? If you're not over him, and you can't have him, you might get into another relationship in order to replace him. Eventually, it's going to come back to haunt you because you'll eventually realize there are things you haven't dealt with.

Solution: You should wait until you're over your ex before getting into another serious relationship. But it's tough to wait. It's not like you want to give up a chance just because you're not over your ex. Also, sometimes you think you're over your ex even though you're not. Hey, I never said these solutions would be easy!

It's Tough To Stay Motivated

When you're down in the dumps over losing someone, it's easy to turn inward and avoid going out, meeting people, even working. But the more unmotivated you are, the easier it is to obsess over the person you're trying to let go of.

Solution: You literally have to force yourself to stay busy and distracted. Not only will you meet people and remain productive, but you will find that you're not thinking about that person too much...which will help you let go.

In order to turn away from someone mentally, spiritually and physically, it takes power, motivation, force, and faith. You can do it because, in most cases, you were happy without this person before you met them-so you can be happy again.

Do you agree with my list above, and what do you think is the toughest thing about letting go of someone. What are your solutions?

An Annual Check-Up for Your Relationship

2011-01-09T22:21:00.002+07:00

Take time early in the New Year to set some new intentions for your relationship. Plan on sitting together for at least an hour to share your Relationship Review. Light a fire or plug in the lights and make yourselves comfortable. Use the following guide to help you along. Add your own questions and comments if you’d like, but keep the conversation moving in a positive direction by acknowledging all you have done well this year, and what you plan to accomplish in 2011.

Ask yourself the following questions or read them out loud to your partner. Answer each question out loud!

Number one: What is one positive memory of our relationship from 2010?
Number Two: What is one memory you would like to create in 2011?
Number Three: What is one thing you appreciated about our relationship last year ?
Number Four: In what ways do you want our relationship to grow in 2011?
Number Five: What is one way you will make that happen for us in 2011?

Your future is the most important thing that you will birth together as a couple. Create it with love and care and meaning. Protect it and let it be the most important thing in your lives. Starting today you can create a new future, together, with the power of your intention, and with love.

Should a Woman Ever Propose to a Man?

2011-01-07T13:24:00.002+07:00

According to experts in this field, women “propose” to men every day – they just don’t call it that. “It’s called an ultimatum.”

“The reality is that women initiate probably over fifty percent of the ‘are we in this for the long haul’ conversations,” says Puhn. This gives the man the information he needs to know that when he asks you to marry him, he’s assured you’ll say yes.

A huge number of changes in relationships, for good and for bad, come about as a result of women initiating, poking, prodding, and setting time frames, she says. The issue isn’t necessarily what one says, but how they phrase it. Relationship discussions of any nature won’t be successful if phrased as “you’d better do it,” she says. Women who feel the need to issue proposals – of the mini or major variety – need to know before speaking what they are and aren’t comfortable with … and how to walk away if they don’t get the answer they need.

While this type of proposal isn’t “fun or exciting,” it’s the reality of many relationships today.

And, if a woman wants to get down on one knee and ultimately do the proposing, Puhn is fine with that – so long as she has the confidence and guts to “make that the story.”

The Surprising Scents that men and women like (and dislike)

2011-01-05T14:07:00.001+07:00

Dr. Hirsch, who has been studying how smells affect moods and behavior for the past 25 years, says he was intrigued by the results of an early study. A group of male medical students were more responsive to the scent of cinnamon rolls than all the perfumes put together. Follow-up studies in the general population yielded similar results. Details from Dr. Hirsch's studies are below

Scents that appeal to men

The scent combination scientifically proven to be the most appealing to men is lavender and pumpkin pie. Doughnut with black licorice, as well as pumpkin pie with doughnut are also popular combinations.

Orange, black licorice, lily of the valley, buttered popcorn, vanilla, pumpkin pie, and lavender each were also appealing to men.

Scents that appeal to women

Women are most attracted to the following combinations, according to Dr. Hirsch's research: Good & Plenty and cucumber, Good & Plenty and pumpkin pie, lavender and pumpkin pie, and baby powder and chocolate. The scent of baby powder on its own is also appealing.

Unlike men, women are actually turned off by certain scents, such as cherry, barbecued meat, and ironically, men's colognes.

Self-expansion: key to a lasting marriage

2011-01-04T13:52:00.004+07:00

A lasting marriage does not always signal a happy marriage. Plenty of miserable couples have stayed together for children, religion or other practical reasons.

But for many couples, it’s just not enough to stay together. They want a relationship that is meaningful and satisfying. In short, they want a sustainable marriage.

Dr. Aron and Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, have studied how individuals use a relationship to accumulate knowledge and experiences, a process called “self-expansion.” Research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship.

To measure this, Dr. Lewandowski developed a series of questions for couples: How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things? How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?

“People have a fundamental motivation to improve the self and add to who they are as a person,” Dr. Lewandowski says. “If your partner is helping you become a better person, you become happier and more satisfied in the relationship.”

Seks Terbukti Bermanfaat Bagi Kesehatan!

2011-01-03T20:47:00.002+07:00

Tahukah Anda, hubungan seks secara rutin dengan pasangan resmi memiliki manfaat mengejutkan yang tak pernah Anda bayangkan?

Berikut ini manfaat seks yang mungkin mengejutkan Anda:

1. Seks membebaskan stres
Manfaat terbesar dalam hubungan seks adalah menurunkan tekanan darah dan meredam stres.

2. Seks meningkatkan daya tahan
Para ilmuwan dari Wilkes University, Pennsylvania, AS, meng¬ambil contoh air liur 112 orang yang melakukan aktivitas seks seminggu atau dua minggu sekali. Hasilnya, mereka yang rutin melakukan aktivitas seks seminggu sekali atau lebih, memiliki antibodi lebih tinggi dibandingkan dengan yang hanya melakukannya dua minggu sekali.

3. Seks membakar kalori
Aktivitas seks selama 30 menit diyakini mampu membakar lebih dari 85 kalori. Sepertinya tidak terlalu banyak, tetapi jika dilakukan selama 42 jam (total), yang terbakar sekitar 3.570 kalori, lebih dari cukup untuk mengurangi berat badan sekitar setengah kilogram.

4. Seks meningkatkan kesehatan jantung
Para peneliti dari Inggris, seperti dipublikasikan dalam Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, yang melakukan riset terhadap 914 pria selama 20 tahun dengan gangguan stroke, justru menemukan fakta lain. Aktivitas seks yang rutin setidaknya dua kali seminggu mampu menekan risiko serangan jantung fatal.

5. Seks meningkatkan kepercayaan diri
Tahukah Anda, satu dari 237 alasan orang melakukan aktivitas seks adalah untuk meningkatkan rasa percaya diri. Kenyataan itulah yang diungkap peneliti dari University of Texas, AS, seperti dipublikasikan dalam Archives of Sexual Behavior.

6. Seks meningkatkan keakraban
Peneliti dari Pittsburgh University dan North Carolina University, AS, mengevaluasi 59 wanita pra menoupouse sebelum dan sesudah melakukan foreplay (pemanasan) bersama suaminya yang diakhiri dengan pelukan. Mereka mengaku menemukan kedekatan, dan kadar hormon oksitosin juga meningkat tajam.

7. Seks mengurangi rasa sakit
Sebuah studi dalam Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine menguji manfaat itu dengan melibatkan 48 sukarelawan untuk menghirup hormon oksitosin. Hasilnya, mereka menyatakan rasa sakit yang diderita berkurang setengahnya.

8. Seks mengurangi risiko kanker prostat
Ejakulasi yang rutin, terutama pada pria berusia 20-an tahun, kemungkinan dapat mengurangi risiko kanker prostat selama hidupnya, seperti dilaporkan peneliti asal Australia dalam British Journal of Urology International.

9. Seks memperkuat tulang panggul
Beberapa peneliti justru mengungkapkan bahwa aktivitas seks yang rutin bagi wanita ternyata bermanfaat hampir sama dengan latihan kegel. Aktivitas seks rutin bahkan memiliki manfaat lebih, yakni membantu memperkuat tulang pinggul, seperti latihan menahan kencing.

10. Seks membuat tidur berkualitas
Jika Anda ingin menikmati kualitas tidur yang baik, jangan pernah malas berhubungan seks sebelum tidur. Menurut penelitian, saat berhubungan seks, kadar hormon oksitosin akan terlepas bersamaan dengan orgasme. Hal ini akan membantu tidur Anda jadi lebih nyenyak. Cukup tidur berarti baik bagi kesehatan.

Payday Loans: The Answer to Your Emergency Cash

2010-12-13T00:37:00.002+07:00

We know many things that can ruin relationship; one of them is financial issue, this thing can really be devastating. What we need when facing such issue is to build a positive attitude, think positively. Each positive step we take will bring us closer to normal condition. Do not panic, as it will only bring you no where but closer to disaster. Do not give up easily, as we have seen in life that many people give up without realizing that their presents are actually just around the corner. Later we will be introduced to payday loans online, simply keep reading this article.

It is not like old days, when we have to ask favor from family and friend. Now is the internet era, when almost everything has its solution in the internet. This is including solution for financial matters. There is a type of loan known as payday loans online; this type of loan has helped many families with urgent cash issue. To apply for payday loans online is simple; it doesn’t like other types of loan that need lots of documents.

We just have to go online, visit the lenders’ websites and apply online. We are qualified if we meet the following qualifications: at least 18 years of age, a citizen of United States of America, have a regular income (minimum amount is set) and a bank account. Many couples have been assisted, they move on with their life after their get the urgent cash. We don’t have to wait long to receive the fund. It usually takes only one business day to get the cash after getting approval from payday loans online lenders. As long as we prepare ourselves and have the right attitudes then most likely we can pass the financial issue in our life.

Seks Senikmat Saat Malam Pertama

2010-12-03T11:10:00.002+07:00

Seringkali Anda merindukan masa-masa ketika Anda baru pertama kali melakukan hubungan intim bersamanya. Yaitu ketika Anda merasa begitu berdebar-debar menunggu momen penting tersebut, tersipu-sipu ketika harus membuka baju Anda, bahkan menangis ketika merasakan betapa Anda telah menyatu bersamanya. Kerinduan semacam ini ternyata bukan tidak mungkin Anda dapatkan kembali. Berikut Tips untuk anda dan pasangan:

Berpisah sementara
Esther Perel, Ph.D., penulis Mating in Captivity manyarankan "Untuk menumbuhkan hasrat, Anda perlu mengingat bagaimana saat pertama kali bersama dulu: Anda tidak bertemu dia setiap hari, dan Anda tidak tergantung padanya. Jika Anda selalu ada untuk suami, terlalu terbuka satu sama lain, Anda akan kehilangan batasan tersebut."

Telusuri aktivitas yang lama
Anda juga bisa mengingat kembali, apa yang dulu membuat Anda turn on pada suami. Apakah aroma tubuhnya? Apa yang Anda ingat saat bulan madu? Apakah gamelan Bali yang mengiringi acara sarapan Anda di hotel? Bagaimana perasaan Anda saat pertama kali membuka busana di hadapannya? Fokuslah pada aktivitas seksual yang membantu Anda menemukan kembali gairah yang lama.

Tingkatkan kembali hormon dopamine
Sesuatu yang mendebarkan saat bersama pasangan memicu produksi hormon dopamine dan norepinephrine, transmisi saraf yang bertanggung jawab untuk perasaan ini.

Berita baiknya, kita ternyata bisa mengakali agar hormon ini memberikan sensasi perasaan itu lagi. Segala jenis aktivitas pendongkrak adrenalin, cobalah berbagai kegiatan yang Anda anggap menantang, seperti arung jeram, biking ke luar kota, atau bahkan menonton film horror yang selama ini Anda jauhi. Aktivitas ini juga merupakan suatu aphrodisiac, sesuatu yang merangsang keinginan bersetubuh.

Puasa dulu
Saat masih pacaran, Anda mungkin menerapkan aturan bahwa si dia baru boleh mencium Anda setelah tiga bulan. Atau, Anda mencari berbagai cara agar dapat memuaskan diri satu sama lain tanpa melakukan intercourse. Dan karena Anda membuat batasan semacam itu, akhirnya acara berciuman dan bersentuhan itu menjadi begitu "panas". Anda bisa memperoleh kembali kenikmatan tersebut.

Reverse Mortgage

2010-11-25T20:07:00.004+07:00

Reverse Mortgage has become a popular choice of mortgage for those of us who have reached retirement age. It has many benefits that support and increase your retirement. What make reverse mortgage different from the other mortgage loans is, this type of loan will turn your house into some cash. The loan can be transferred to you in lump sum amount or monthly depend on your mortgage agreement. Best of all, there is no monthly payment that you need to pay with one condition, as long as you live in your home. You have the option to pay your entire reverse mortgage at anytime and there is no penalty unlike other mortgage loans that have a fixed monthly schedule.

Some people confuse about reverse mortgage and that have caused some reverse mortgage pros and cons. It was triggered by improper information they got. Let us first review about the benefit of reverse mortgage compare to other type of mortgage loan. We have mentioned earlier about no monthly payment. The next thing is lenders of reverse mortgage will not check your income; they do not check your credit history/credit score. Your income has nothing to do with the reverse mortgage. The consideration is based on your equity value and your age.

You continue to own and control your home but as a consequence you must continue to pay your property taxes and related insurance. People who apply for reverse mortgages entitle to receive tax-free funds. What make it extra safe is the Federal Government stands behind this program and guarantees that you receive all of your scheduled payments unlike a home equity credit that the bank can close or reduce the available funds. People who apply for reverse mortgage, they can choose the method to receive the funds. Reverse Mortgage Specialists will assist them using reverse mortgage calculator, you will sit together with the specialist to customize the best plan that fit your retirement needs.

Those who apply for reverse mortgage is insured by what so-called as a Built-in insurance and that’s from the Federal Government, it protects your family and even your heirs. With this type of insurance, the best thing is, the total amount of debt that will have to be repaid if the house is sold can never be more than the value of your house. But if the value of your house is greater than the amount of the reverse mortgage then you or your heirs is going to receive the excess amount (after deducting your reverse mortgage payment). For further information please visit allrmc.com.

Love Kills Pain as Well as Morphine

2010-10-21T20:11:00.001+07:00

"Finding pleasure in activities, and with the one you’re with, can have multiple benefits, including reducing your pain," said senior author Dr. Sean Mackey, chief of the Division of Pain Management at Stanford University School of Medicine. Love may actually be a painkiller, researchers suggest in a new study in the journal PLoS ONE.

The study looked at 15 undergraduates – both men and women – between ages 19 and 21, all of whom were in the "early phases of passionate love," having been in a relationship anywhere from a few months to a year. This is a small sample size, but not unusual for a study involving functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

Participants were asked to bring in photos of their beloved and an acquaintance who was equally attractive. While viewing these photos, a computer-controlled stimulator made them feel pain in the palm of their hand that felt akin to burning oneself on a hot pan, but in a safe way and without causing any actual damage, Mackey said. They were also asked to answer distracting questions while the pain was applied. The fMRI scanner allowed researchers to examine what brain systems were involved during each condition.

The magnitude of pain relief when participants thought about their beloved was comparable to morphine and other clinical painkillers, Mackey said. However, he cautioned that this is not a study about chronic pain, merely pain applied for 30 seconds at a time in an artificial setting.