31.10.11

Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband

Wife Husband and sonOne of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful ways. Here are 8 things that you should never utter to your significant other and the words that you should try instead.

1. “You’re just like your father.
“This is just a no-no,” says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. “It’s nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family.” According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: “Hon, when you’re done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?” That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process.

2. “When are you going to find a new job?”
First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home? Do you think he can or should be further ahead career-wise? Is he not bringing home a healthy-enough salary? If you have an issue with how much money he’s making, “it’s an opportunity to talk about your lifestyle and how you want to live,” she adds. The aim is to avoid putting him on the defensive, and instead work together to create the life you both want.

3. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”
Something must have seriously infuriated you, because what you’re doing here is letting him know that there are others in your “camp.” “You are trying to validate your ‘side’ of an argument, as though you’re marshalling an army to your side,” says Orlov. Without ganging up on him, that could open up a discussion about money worries that stem from his childhood, for example. “Room is now cleared for creative problem-solving,” says Orlov. And if you’re just lashing out? Hold your tongue and focus on the root of what’s making you mad. In the end, coming to a solution together will make you feel better than unleashing hurtful words.

4. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!
This is hurtful in two ways. First, it gets at your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter and capable person in the house. Second, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are sub-par. Do this too often and your husband might think, “I can never do anything right or anything that’ll please her,” says Ford. A better choice is to pick your battles. If he’s in the middle of a task and you think that he’s doing it wrong, evaluate whether it really matters, keeping in mind that, just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong—he is, after all, an adult too.

5. “You always... ” or “You never... ”
“These are two phrases I advise couples never to use,” says Ford, “because they set up an instant, negative tone; they halt communication and they put the other person on the defensive.” These blanket statements can make your husband feel unfairly attacked, and chances are he’ll just fire back with all the times he did help. If there are legitimate problems you’d like to address (he really does tend to leave his tools all over the garage floor or often forgets to put gas in the car after driving it).

6. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”
Are you trying to hint that he’s putting on weight? Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across. You may think that you’re subtly conveying the message, but instead you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health. Instead, start with something you like about how he looks: “When you wear that blue shirt, it really makes me appreciate your gorgeous blue eyes.”

7. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?
There’s nothing wrong with your guy having a friend whose company you don’t love—no one says spouses are required to adore each other’s friends, especially that one college pal who likes to pretend he and your hubby never left the frat house. What is wrong is insulting your man’s choice of friends. Your disdain may also suggest that you’d prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with.

8. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that...”
“If he always feels like he’s wrong, he’ll only start to disconnect emotionally.” So let Dad be Dad. Trust that he knows as well as you do how to keep a child clean, safe and fed—even if his definitions of those tasks are slightly different than your own. That said, if there are things he needs to know, like how to use the stroller or what the pediatrician’s phone number is, definitely give him the rundown.

Mengenali Tipe Pria Matre

Di awal hubungan, pria tipe ini sering tampil sempurna dan seperti memahami perasaan Anda, sehingga Anda mudah sekali terbuai. Ketika Anda sudah dikuasainya, pria tipe ini bersiap mengubah strategi. Perlahan tapi pasti, belangnya pun kelihatan.

1. Narsis tanpa bukti
Si dia mengaku punya perusahaan sendiri namun tidak bersedia menyebutkan lokasi kantornya, ini salah satu tandanya. Di tambah lagi, ia tak pernah terlihat sibuk menelepon anak buahnya di kantor akal-akalannya tersebut.

2. Memanfaatkan kelemahan perempuan
Pria tipe ini hanya fokus pada kekayaan yang dimiliki perempuan. Kecenderungannya, pria pengeruk harta ini mencari pasangan yang tak percaya diri namun punya banyak harta. Ketidakpercayaan diri perempuan, sebagai kelemahan, justru memudahkan pria ini dalam meluncurkan aksinya untuk mengeruk harta pasangannya.

3. Atraktif di mal
Coba ajak pria yang Anda curigai sebagai pendulang emas, ke mal. Katakan padanya, Anda barus saja mendapat bonus dari kantor dan bermaksud membelanjakannya. Biasanya, pria super matre ini akan terlihat lebih bersemangat mencoba berbagai jenis barang bagus dan mahal, terutama barang yang menjadi incarannya.

Ketika rasa ingin membeli muncul, ia akan bertanya, "Bagus tidak sayang?" Kalau Anda menjawab bagus, ia akan berkata, "Aduh, sayangnya dompetku ketinggalan. Kamu bayarin dulu, ya?"

4. Sering pinjam uang
Pria tipe ini selalu punya alasan untuk meminjam uang kepada pasangannya. Mulai ibunya sakit keras, adiknya di luar negeri kecelakaan mobil, apa pun dijadikan alasan untuknya meminjam uang kepada Anda. Percaya lah, ia tidak akan mengembalikan uang itu, bahkan sampai hubungan Anda dan dia berakhir.

5. Egois dan pemalas
Pria tipe ini tak pernah atau jarang memikirkan perasaan pasangannya. Ia tidak bisa jadi tempat berkeluh kesah Anda. Karena di dalam kepalanya, yang ada hanya bagaimana caranya agar Anda mengeluarkan uang untuk dirinya.

6. Kikir
Cobalah untuk sesekali meminta bantuan finansial dari pria tipe ini. Pura-pura saja Anda kehabisan uang, tapi Anda butuh uang untuk membeli bensin misalnya. Di jamin, ia akan mencari seribu satu alasan agar tidak mengeluarkan uang.

29.10.11

Jasa Pembuatan Website

Semakin banyak penawaran jasa pembuatan website yang bisa kita temukan di internet tidak berarti semakin mudah bagi anda untuk memilih jasa yang tepat bagi keperluan anda membangun sebuah website, baik untuk keperluan personal maupun organisasi atau perusahaan. Tidak sedikit pemilik website yang dikecewakan oleh jasa web design yang mereka gunakan karena hasil yang diberikan ternyata tidak sesuai dengan harapan.

Saat ini website telah diperhitungkan sebagai salah satu investasi untuk menjalankan bisnis. Baik secara langsung ataupun tidak. Secara langsung biasanya kita dapat menjual produk dan jasa melalui website. Secara tidak langsung biasanya dengan memperkenalkan produk serta membangun database calon customer melalui website atau juga disebut branding. Namun tujuan ini tidak akan tercapai jika salah dalam membuat konsep website. Untuk mendapatkan konsep website yang tepat sesuai tujuan anda, dibutuhkan jasa pembuatan website yang tepat yang dapat mengerti tujuan anda tentunya.

Langkah awal yang dibutuhkan untuk mencari jasa web design yang tepat tentunya adalah dengan mempelajari portfolio yang ada. Selanjutnya diskusi dan brainstorming dengan si penyedia jasa juga sangat penting untuk menggali sejauh mana penyedia jasa web design ini dapat mengerti maksud dan tujuan anda, kemudian anda dapat mempelajari konsep yang mereka tawarkan apakah dapat mengakomodir maksud dan tujuan anda dalam pembuatan website ini.

Hindarkan untuk menggunakan jasa web design yang menggunakan opensource sebagai CMS, karena pengguna opensource biasanya kesulitan mendesain tampilan website secara bebas untuk memenuhi konsep yang paling sesuai dengan kebutuhan anda. Selain itu CMS opensource terlalu rumit untuk dioperasikan dan perlu di update secara berkala. Namun jika anda sebagai personal dan faktor harga menjadi pertimbangan yang sangat menentukan, pengguna opensource biasanya menawarkan harga yang relatif lebih murah. Yang penting anda harus hati-hati jika menggunakan jasa web design yang menggunakan opensource karena keahlian dalam menggunakan dan merubah skrip opensource sangat bervariasi.

Terakhir yang perlu anda pertimbangkan dalam menggunakan jasa pembuatan website adalah dukungan teknis yang diberikan. Karena teknologo website biasanya sangat dinamis dan berkembang sesuai perkembangan teknologi browser. Dalam jangka waktu tertentu terkadang sistem website anda tidak berjalan lagi dalam web browser terbaru dan perlu diperbaiki.

25.10.11

Research: Heavier Women May Have Less IVF Success

pragnancyThe heavier a woman is, the more trouble she may have getting pregnant and having a baby through in vitro fertilization, or IVF — and may lose the baby more often, according to a U.S. study.

Researchers led by Barbara Luke of Michigan State University found that women who were overweight or obese were less likely to become pregnant using fertility treatments than normal-weight women.

Past studies have also hinted at worse IVF outcomes in heavier women, although they don’t prove that the extra weight is directly responsible for the reproductive troubles those women experience.

“Treatment and pregnancy failures with increasing obesity significantly increased starting with overweight women,” Luke and her colleagues wrote in Fertility and Sterility.

They drew data from a reporting system that includes more than 90 percent of IVF treatments done in the United States — information on 150,000 fertility treatment cycles done in 2007 and 2008 at 361 different clinics.

For each cycle, the reporting system included whether the cycle was canceled, if it led to a pregnancy, and whether that pregnancy ended early in a miscarriage or stillbirth, or if the woman gave birth to a live baby. For most cycles, it also had data on women’s height and weight before starting treatment.

Tanaman Yang Memicu Gairah Seks Pria

Fenugreek adalah sejenis tanaman biji-bijian yang banyak tumbuh di Asia dan umumnya sering digunakan oleh masyarakat India sebagai bumbu penyedap masakan. Fenugreek juga paling sering digunakan dalam pembuatan kari.

Tapi tahukah anda manfaat lain di balik tanaman yang satu ini? Rupanya selain dipakai untuk bumbu masak, Fenugreek juga mempunyai khasiat untuk meningkatkan gairah seksual pria, sebagaimana hasil penelitian para ahli dari Centre for Integrative Clinical and Molecular Medicine di Brisbane, Australia.

Dalam penelitian tersebut, para ahli mengujicobakan ramuan tanaman ini kepada 60 pria sehat berusia antara 25-52 tahun. Setiap relawan mengonsumsi ramuan tersebut sebanyak dua kali sehari selama enam minggu.

Hasilnya menunjukkan, tingkat libido para pria tersebut ternyata mengalami perubahan setelah dimonitor menggunakan alat skor. Dalam waktu enam minggu, skor mereka meningkat dengan rata-rata 16,1-20,6 atau naik 28 persen, Sementara itu, pada kelompok lain yang mengonsumsi pil, skor mereka terlihat jauh lebih rendah.

Menurut para peneliti, biji fenugreek mengandung senyawa saponin yang diperkirakan dapat merangsang produksi hormon seks laki-laki termasuk testosteron.

20.10.11

How to show that you’re a catch

DatingHere are certain things you can mention that will let you impress your date, without a doubt, and will add some heft to casual first-date small talk. Here are five topics to tackle and how to artfully bring them up.

1. Whatever you’re passionate about. Maybe it’s your love of art and culture. Or history. Or tropical bird-watching. Anything, in fact, except celebrities and what’s on TV. You want to show that you do things in your spare time that enrich you as a person, not just sit on the sofa with Us Weekly. Spend those early dates getting to know the important facts about each other; specifically, the passions that make each of you tick and distinguish you from the other single folk out there.

2. Your family values. It can be a big plus to let your date know that your family is important to you, but that they don’t run your life. Share a story that describes your family in context.

3. Community service. If you’re active in community organizations that help people in any way, this is definitely something to bring up on a first date. Of course, bragging about giving lots of money to charities... well, that’s just showing off. But just mentioning that you do volunteer work — like delivering meals to homebound people, or even just hosting events for a local professional organization — shows a sense of humanity that’s an indisputable selling point.

4. Your ability to laugh at yourself. This one’s less about saying one particular thing and more about having a lighthearted tone. “Everyone has faults, and to be able to laugh at them is charming,” says Humphrey. “It’s always great to give a funny story about something you did to embarrass yourself — like my going up to Eva Longoria at a TV event and mistaking her for someone else.”

Hal-hal Sederhana Yang Menunjukkan Rasa Cinta

loveAda empat hal sederhana yang dapat Anda lakukan untuk menunjukkan rasa sayang dan tentunya akan membuat si dia merasa spesial. Ini dia empat hal tersebut, seperti yang dikutip dari sheknows.

1. Stok makanan atau minuman kesukaannya di lemari makanan
Jika biasanya lemari dan kulkas selalu dipenuhi dengan makanan Anda seperti buah, cokelat atau kue, kini tak ada salahnya untuk menaruh makanan atau minuman kesukaan pasangan. Misalnya saja, membelikan keripik kentang, donat, soft drink atau minuman berenergi lainnya. Lakukan hal ini sesekali saja, jika Anda tak ingin berat badannya meningkat drastis.

2. Menciumnya setiap pagi
Kepanikan seringkali terjadi di pagi hari, terutama jika Anda telat bangun atau harus memandikan si kecil. Dalam keadaan sesibuk itu, cobalah tetap menunjukkan rasa cinta Anda dengan memberinya kecupan sebelum ia berangkat ke kantor. Ini memberi arti bahwa Anda tetap memperhatikannya walau sesibuk apapun. Ia akan sangat menghargai hal itu.

3. Berikan pijatan saat si dia sedang stres
Pekerjaan yang menumpuk, teguran atasan, atau berselisih pendapat dengan teman sekantor tentu saja meberikan tekanan tersendri bagi siapapun yang mengalaminya. Jika ia tiba di rumah dalam keadaan murung dan lelah, tak ada salahnya Anda berikan pijatan di leher dan pungungnya agar ia merasa lebih rileks.

4. Rencanakan kencan kejutan
Kesibukan si dia seringkali membuat Anda merasa dilupakan? Daripada mengeluh, mengapa tak coba merencanakan sebuah kencan untuknya. Pilih tanggal kencan yang berarti untuk Anda berdua, seperti tanggal perkawinan atau hari jadi dan ajaklah si dia untuk mendatangi restoran favoritnya. Alternatif lainnya, berjalan-jalan di taman di malam hari memberikan nuansa romantis yang santai.

16.10.11

Eligible men who stay single

manWe all know this guy — or are this guy: in his 30s, affable, attractive, and yet he’s never been in a serious long-term relationship. And as his single status stretches into a third decade, one has to wonder: What’s the deal? Learn about howfive types of die-hard bachelors contribute to their perpetually single status.

The workaholic
For the guy who makes work priority number one, a relationship can seem like a hindrance for which he hasn’t the time or energy.

The partier
For this guy, weekends in Vegas and hitting up the newest parties and clubs has too much appeal to entertain the possibility of settling down.

The shy guy
It’s a fact: Meeting women requires conversation — which can be problematic for a shy guy and can stunt his relationship prospects.

The too-picky guy
For all his many, many first dates, this guy is resolutely single, never having met anyone who quite fits his mold for the ideal mate. He is convinced that there is someone out there and is alternately determined to find The One or frustrated by his inability to do so.

The none-of-the-above guy
Of course, there are guys who might not fall into (just) one of these categories, who are comfortable with themselves, outgoing and trying to meet someone to share their lives with.

10.10.11

You won't take a woman here!

bad dateOne advantage women have in the dating world is that men often let us choose what we want to do on dates. They’ll either run date ideas past us, or flat-out let us decide where to go. But some still try to rock our world with unpleasant surprises or talk us into experiences we end up dreading. Guys, here are some tips on places we’re never interested in visiting.

Meeting Your Mother
True, it might happen eventually, but casually hanging out with your mother — wonderful as she may be — is not our idea of a relaxing time. Neither is getting tips from her on how to find a better hairstylist or job. Sure, she might make the best fried chicken or pasta primavera on the planet, but her long, loving gaze might make us feel less like family and more like we’re on the wrong end of a long microscope — especially if you take us to meet her on the second or third date. If you want to see your mom, that’s cool. Just don’t make us a permanent fixture in her house too early in the relationship or we’ll start wondering why you’re so busy showing us off, or worse — why her opinion of us matters more than your own.

Sports-Themed Places
When we’re with you, we don’t want to compete with the big game or struggle to hear you over a crowd of screaming sports fans. We’d rather be in a place where people are less likely to bump into our chair or spill something on the cute outfit we put too much time into selecting. Likewise, we don’t want to feel ignored by our date because he’s watching his favorite team or can’t hear us because of that old 50 Cent song blaring from the speaker by our heads. The Buffalo wings are pretty much the best part of this experience, and they better be freakin’ outstanding.

Theme Parks
In life, there are rollercoaster people and there are those who get queasy looking at the merry-go-round. Find out which one your date is before you take her to the nearest Six Flags to ride the Mind-Eraser. We know you’re eager to be the manly man as we clench your arm in terror while spinning upside down in a quadruple loop. It’s just that some of us are not aching to toss our cookies in the bushes next to the churros stand while you watch. Sure, we might get to know you better while waiting in those long lines, but we’ll probably have other things on our minds if our stomachs are filled with knots and our hearts are racing in anxious anticipation — like avoiding the next date.

Chain Restaurants
We love a guy who wants to feed us and perhaps even more so a man who wants to pay to feed us. But if you take us to a place we can find in every major city where the interior always looks the same, you might as well feed us lattes at Starbucks. Fast-food joints obviously rank as the worst dinner choices, but corporate restaurants (oh, don’t make me name names… you know the ones I mean!) also lack originality and thoughtfulness. As a general rule, don’t take us to a place where we know what we’re going to order before we walk in. We’d rather be taken somewhere off the beaten path — where there are candles instead of fluorescent lights and we don’t have to listen to Top 40 songs blaring from a speaker overhead. If you have no idea where those places are, remember — the Zagat Guide was created for a reason.

Cara Bangunkan Anak Tanpa Perlu Emosi

"Sulit bangun pagi pada anak remaja itu bukanlah masalah kebiasaan, melainkan masalah biologis," kata Emsellem memberi kesimpulan. Lantas, apa "obat" supaya Anda tidak perlu berteriak-teriak setiap pagi? Pertama-tama, Emsellem menganjurkan Anda untuk bicara dengan anak. Katakan bahwa Anda ingin dia belajar bangun pagi sendiri tanpa harus disertai omelan dari orangtua. Ada beberapa cara yang bisa ditempuh agar hal ini terlaksana:

1. Berikan tanggung jawab. "Mintalah anak lebih bertanggung jawab terhadap pola tidur mereka. Artinya, mereka harus belajar untuk bangun tanpa bantuan orang lain," kata Emsellem. Selain itu, buatlah batasannya. Misalnya, Anda akan membangunkannya satu kali saja. "Jika Anda masuk ke kamarnya empat kali di setiap pagi, mereka tidak akan merasa punya tanggung jawab untuk bangun pagi karena merasa Anda akan terus melakukannya," kata Emsellem.

2. Ajarkan mereka bagaimana caranya. Minta mereka untuk mencatat setiap hari, pukul berapa mereka tidur dan kapan mereka bangun. Lakukan ini selama beberapa minggu. Perhatikan sejauh mana perubahan pada pola tidur dapat membantu mereka bangun lebih pagi. Misalnya, Anda dapat memintanya menyelesaikan pekerjaan rumah sebelum pukul 19.00, dan tidur lebih awal daripada biasanya.

3. Waspadai akhir minggu. Kebanyakan anak dan remaja ingin menunda waktu tidurnya di akhir minggu, karena merasa esok harinya mereka bisa bangun lebih siang. Menurut William Kohler, direktur medis dari Florida Sleep Institute, Spring Hill, Florida, boleh-boleh saja sebenarnya jika mereka mau tidur lebih lama di akhir minggu. "Namun, beri kelonggaran waktu bangun hanya sekitar 1-2 jam lebih siang daripada hari sekolah. Yang pasti, jangan biarkan mereka bangun setelah pukul 10.00," kata Kohler. Hal ini dapat mencegah gangguan pada pola tidur mereka.

4. Jauhkan komputer dan TV dari kamar mereka. Selain itu, jangan biarkan mereka berinteraksi dengan dua alat elektronik ini beberapa saat sebelum tidur, sebab ini justru dapat membuat mereka jadi sulit tidur. Sementara itu, pastikan kamar tidur anak memiliki jendela yang menghadap keluar, sehingga sinar matahari di luar dapat membantu mereka bangun setiap pagi.

4.10.11

Scientist: Women Can Tell A Man's Sexuality

women tell sexualityIf a woman tells you she can spot a gay man just by looking at him, don’t dismiss her claim out of hand. Scientists say women really do have ‘gaydar’, which helps them spot whether a man is straight or gay just by looking at his face.

And the instinct is at its strongest when she is at her most fertile and in the mood for romance. Their findings suggest that a woman’s ability to determine whether a potential male partner is straight or gay is linked to the impulse to have children.

During the three experiments, some 40 heterosexual women were shown a set of photographs of 80 men’s faces, all with the same expression. Researchers found women were remarkably adept in being able to spot the gay and straight men.

But in a similar experiment using photographs of gay and straight women, they were less able to differentiate. The study, by psychologists from the University of Toronto, then compared the results to the women’s cycles and found those at their most fertile had the most accurate male ‘gaydar’.

Lead researcher, Professor Nicholas Rule said: ‘This effect is not apparent when a woman is judging another female’s orientation. This suggests that fertility influences a heterosexual woman’s attention to potential mates rather than merely increasing sensitivity to sexual orientation or nonverbal cues more generally.’

Seputar Ukuran Payudara

Ukuran PayudaraBerbeda dengan kebanyakan perempuan yang mendambakan ukuran payudara yang padat dan besar, Jessica Simpson, aktris dan penyanyi asal Amerika Serikat, dikabarkan justru melakukan tindakan pengecilan payudara sebelum hari pernikahannya pada pertengahan September tahun ini.

Simpson mengatakan pembedahan tersebut dimaksudkan agar gaun pengantinnya tidak kekecilan dan juga demi penampilan fisiknya secara keseluruhan di masa depan. Simpson memang dikenal memiliki ukuran payudara di atas rata-rata.

Disukai atau tidak, faktanya kebanyakan pria lebih tertarik pada wanita dengan ukuran payudara yang besar. Pria tertarik pada ukuran payudara wanita seperti halnya para wanita peduli pada ukuran penis pria. Kebanyakan wanita juga merasa lebih percaya diri jika buah dadanya kencang dan padat.

Tetapi, ketertarikan pria pada buah dada pasangannya tergantung pada durasi hubungan yang sedang dijalaninya. Pria yang masih melajang cenderung menyukai wanita dengan tampilan fisik menarik, bentuk tubuh indah atau berpayudara besar. Namun setelah mereka memiliki pasangan yang dicintai penampilan fisik tidak lagi menjadi hal yang utama.

Karena itu seorang wanita seharusnya tidak perlu khawatir pada ukuran payudara, apalagi sampai nekat melakukan implan payudara demi memuaskan pria. Lagi pula, hasil operasi payudara sebaik apa pun tidak akan menjamin seorang pria berpaling ke lain hati.