21.5.11

Bad relationship habits to dump

Bad relationship habitsMarty Friedman, author of Straight Talk for Men About Marriage, talks about how to recognize — and get rid of — these bad habits so your love life can prosper.

Bad Habit #1: Never ending your arguments. One of the dubious perks of being married, Friedman says, is being able to “stomp out of the room, cool yourself down, and bring up the issue again a few days or weeks later — or let it fester forever.” W

Bad Habit #2: Letting yourself go. When two people are married for a long time, they stop trying to impress each other. “It’s easy to say, ‘I just want someone who likes me for who I am,’ but truthfully, the way humans operate is to feel more comfortable with and attracted to someone who cares enough about appearance to look presentable.”

Bad Habit #3: Under-communicating your needs. Most married couples have the ability to read each other’s minds but still you need to state your needs and feelings out loud, in a responsible way. Friedman says. “The good news is, by speaking up you can help shape how your new partner treats you.”

Bad Habit #4: Sniping instead of talking. Instead of criticizing your partner, you should make an effort to “request what you need in a specific, caring way. For example: instead of shouting ‘You’re always late for everything,’ you can say gently, ‘This Saturday night, it would really mean a lot to me if you showed up on time or even a few minutes early.’”

Bad Habit #5: Not saying “thank you.” You should start your new relationship on a solid foundation of gratitude and appreciation, right from the beginning,” Friedman says. “Be thankful for the little things... even the fact that this person is spending the evening with you.” And while you’re at it, go head — say it out loud.